How to Get a Good Haircut (and Better Loving)

My hair is absolutely my favorite thing about the way I look. It is, in many ways, the physical embodiment of my personality. The blonde ringlets are a bit unruly and unpredictable, they’re unique, and they have the potential to be absolutely beautiful when cared for properly.

That’s why I take my haircuts very, very seriously.

A good haircut makes it possible for my hair to look its best, which makes me feel my best. A bad haircut? Ugh. It’s like stealing my superpower.

With so much at stake, I have made it my mission over the last couple decades to master the art of getting a good haircut. Today, I’m going to share my wisdom with you.

Because it’s not just about getting a good haircut.

These secrets to getting a good haircut are also the secrets to getting good customer service, more wow in the bedroom, and exactly what you need in your relationships.


Ready? Let’s get started.


1. Show up  looking good.

Sure, your hair is in bad need of a cut and you’re probably going to get a shampoo – but it’s still a good idea to make an effort to look good when you walk in the door. Why? Because you set the bar high from the word Go.

This is human nature. Real estate agents will tell you that tenants take better care of a property that is updated and well maintained. We take better care of what is clearly valued.

Value yourself first, and let that self care be visible to others.

2. Know what you want.

If you sit in a stylist’s chair and ask to be surprised, prepare to be surprised – and possibly very disappointed.

You simply cannot get what you want if you don’t know what you want.


3. Communicate your needs clearly.

Here’s the tricky part: getting what you want out of your head and into someone else’s.

Stylists aren’t mind readers. (Neither are lovers.)

Use pictures. Draw shapes. Point and lift with your hands. Take the time to learn the lingo so you can give detailed instructions about layers or textures.

Don’t skimp on this part. Take as much time as needed and whatever means necessary to get your vision across clearly.

4. Speak up if things aren’t going well.

Two people coming together for a single purpose is almost always going to lead to some confusion. That’s OK. What’s not OK is staying silent because you don’t want to offend your partner – er, stylist. They want to do a good job!

Speak up. Say, “no.” Say, “a little more off the top.” Say, “still not enough.”

This is all about owning your responsibility in the process.

5. Pick a partner you can trust.

You have to be accountable for your role in the process; you also need to know where yours stops and theirs begins. You cannot cut your own hair or maintain two halves of a healthy relationship.

Ideally, you’ll find a stylist who is committed to listening to your needs and doing their best work every time. When that happens, you’ll learn to trust their expertise and listen to their advice when they say things like “please let me blow dry before I cut one more inch.”

If you don’t have that trust and you don’t feel like you both are invested in a good outcome, don’t settle.

There are plenty of good stylists in town who are dying to get their hands on a strong, beautiful customer who knows what she wants.


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