One More Thing I Will Not Beat Myself Up About

I was hoping to have some really great news to share with you today.

We’ve spent the last week exchanging emails and phone calls with producers for a daytime talk show, producers who were interested in having us bring the RV out to New York City so that we could tell our story on national TV. It would have been so cool. Jared and I were both excited and had even told a few of our friends about the possibility of us making the detour.

At about 7:30 last night I got an unexpected call from one of the producers letting us know that the idea was scrapped. Thanks, but no thanks, maybe we’ll be in touch another time.

I felt deflated. No, more like popped with a sharp pin. Anticipation and excitement disappeared in an instant, leaving a vague sense that I had imagined all of the phone calls.

More than disappointed, I felt stupid.

The familiar tape began to spin, the one that always kicks in when things don’t work out quite as well as I’d hoped.

“Who do you think you are? You’re so stupid to have had such ridiculous fantasies. You’re naive and immature to think anything so good could happen so easily.”

I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. And I was shocked to see the intensity of my own emotions.

It is not foolish to get my hopes up when there is every reason to believe that those hopes might be realized. It is not stupid to think I have a story worth telling. It is not naive or immature to think that extraordinary things could happen in my life; I have taken some extraordinary risks to make room for these types of opportunities.

Who do I think I am?

I think I am someone wise and brave enough to choose optimisim, damn it.

And I’m done giving myself crap for that.

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  1. Shannon says:

    YES! I had disappointing news today, too and the same tapes play in my head. You know what? It’s their loss for not using your story. I love your blog. You’re living my dream!

    • Miss Britt says:

      Thanks, Shannon. I think it’s a double loss – and maybe even not permanent, just temporarily!

      In any case, it turned out to be a good opportunity for me to reprogram my inner dialogue.

  2. Miriam says:

    Wow, this is crazy. This is exactly how I felt when I made that post, only to turn around and find out the house had been offered on (and accepted!) while I was writing it. I felt like an idiot for daring to dream so big especially to share it IN PUBLIC and then “poof” there it goes. I was embarrassed for talking a big game and having nothing to show for it.

    But I just realized something – my dream is still the same. I still want that off-grid hobby farm. It’s just not going to be at that location :D

    So thanks AGAIN for laying your life out like this. It’s just the kind of chin-up that schmoes like me need :)

  3. Nanna says:

    :) How embarrassing. I have that same tape play in MY head too, and I even react to it. Smart, huh?

  4. I feel deflated and stupid at least once a week. Logically, I know that certain things just aren’t meant to be, but it still feels awful and depressing, especially when you’ve worked so hard. I would have loved to see you guys on a talk show… in fact, I think you need to have a movie made about your travels. Actually… what about filming it all for a reality show? Just let me know if I’m going too far.

    • Miss Britt says:

      “Logically, I know that certain things just aren’t meant to be, but it still feels awful and depressing, especially when you’ve worked so hard.” YES. That’s it exactly. The difference between logic and whatever else goes on inside our brains.

  5. Robin says:

    I so get it. But I have a feeling there will be others that want to know. :)

    Keep telling your story. It’s your calling.

  6. Don’y worry Britt,there will be other and better opportunities.

  7. Bre says:

    You rock nmw, Britt. I learn so much from you all the time. Xoxo

  8. Kristin says:

    There will be more awesome opportunities coming your way. You are only just over a quarter of your journey around the country. And, you have lots of life after that! Good thing will come to you guys for sure. And, if Oprah still had her show, you would so be on there! :)

  9. Lana says:

    There will other awesome opportunities. You win some, you lose some, that is how life works.

  10. Kristin,I agree with you 100% Have a great day.

  11. Megan says:

    I’m sorry it didn’t work out. This time. The right time will come. But I am thrilled to to see that you’re pushing the stop button on that tape. Practice makes perfect. xo

  12. MrsJennyK says:

    You are able to articulate what all of us sometimes feel. I’m so glad I found your blog!

  13. as your executive assistant, i’m not going to stop telling folks that he wants you on his show. that has not changed, just that the producers are doing other things right now. i’m still gonna let his name open doors for you. it is the least he can do after all this dancing with phone calls and emails…time is valuable! :)

    now, back to that voice that told you that you are stupid, naive or immature? horseshit! you have every right to think that great things can happen, some even easily. because you? truly are a rock star. i’m glad you are done giving yourself crap for knowing it.

    love yew.

  14. Ally Bean says:

    Ditto what Megan said. Now, if I can only stop that tape in my own life….

  15. I love you so hard!! YES dammit! You do have a story and an audience who wants to hear it!

    I had a similar situation with a PR firm in NYC and I was so excited. I told people. Then they didn’t even call me. A deadline started approaching and I emailed for more information, THEN they were like, “Oh? We didn’t tell you? We decided to go another direction. Thanks.”


    Pump yourself back up sister friend and keep on doing what you do. You are an inspiration!

  16. Mandie says:

    I wouldn’t worry about it, that’s just the business of TV. I’m a public radio reporter, actually, and I like to think we offer better, more in-depth stories than a morning show segment ever could. No, you wouldn’t get to “be on TV,” but you’d be heard by millions of people who actually care about cool stories such as your own. (Not that non-public radio listeners don’t. :-) )

    Here’s my suggestion (from a newsie:-) ) Pitch your story to NPR! NPR, if they were to take it, could spent twice the time a morning TV show could, and they could actually get at the heart of why you and your family are doing what you’re doing. I’ll make it even easier for you! Here’s a link to story pitches:

    Best of luck on your adventure! Happy trails to ya!

  17. YES. I, too, am a happy girl. And proud of it.

    Yes, I have also been told that I am naive, unrealistic, childish, that I laugh too easily, and too loudly. I have been warned not to get my hopes up. I have been called annoyingly positive for seeing the good in a situation. Seriously? Annoyingly positive? Like there is a less-annoying version of positive? Jeepers. Shake that off my shoes.

    You are brave and wise and wonderful. You are strong and beautiful. And I am so glad I have found you.

  18. I think it’s more of the embarrassment of telling other people that hurts so much, isn’t it? I had my hopes WAY up for a gig a few months ago. My dad practically had me running the morning news and then, when the opportunity didn’t pan out? It was HORRIBLE. I wish I had just kept it to myself….

    Your story is a good one and IS being told. We’re listening. See? See us listening?

    • Miss Britt says:

      Yes, the telling definitely adds to the embarrassment factor. Although to be honest, I’d be disappointed and feel kind of stupid ANYWAY, so at least someone knows WHY I’m disappointed if I’ve shared, right?

  19. Peggy says:

    Ya know….another network or show will “Pick up” your story & then the 1st one will be all upset that they screwed up by dropping the whole idea !! Go Britt….you are a strong & brilliant girl with nerves of steel to be doing this whole gig……..and I Love You !! Thanks for letting us follow you………….Happy Trails to You ( & yours ) !!!

  20. Alexandra says:

    This made me cry.


    Because this is the exact same thing I do to myself. “Who am I to think I stand a chance.”

    I want to change that to , “Who are you to NOT stand a chance.”

    I love coming here.

    I truly do.

    So much.

  21. TwinMamaTeb says:

    YES. Years of infertility (the up and down and up and down)…have taught me to enjoy the up! and the down? is anyone hurt? did it cost us a ton of money? No? ah well, next time. Granted, that took at LOT of work to get to that point, but my my the wallowing is gone. I suppose its all about perspective, ya know?

    Your story is awesome. It will get picked up. Pinky swear!

  22. Jamie says:

    I’m v sorry. That must have been v disappointing. But I could have told you, you are not stupid. I wouldn’t regularly read the blog of a stupid person. You do gave great story. You know that. It just wasn’t right time. On positive, you gained experience dealing with TV production types.

  23. Beth says:

    I felt the same way after I learned this week I didn’t get the job I’d interviewed for. It is disappointing.

  24. Lisa says:

    I’m so glad that you are changing that voice in your head! Being happy about exciting possibilities isn’t naive or foolish at all. It’s healthy! And, not to sound too airy fairy about it, it tells the universe what you want. Excitement and joy and happy anticipation are positive things, and when you put positivity out there, you get positivity back. I’m sorry it didn’t work out this time, but it will. It will work out because you are following your dream and people want to hear the story of that. And YOU ARE AWESOME, which is a great story in itself.

  25. You most certainly should not beat yourself up for missing out on something over which You have no control.
    However – I would have turned on morning TV just to watch you guys. They’re the ones missing out right? Maybe someone else will figure it out.

    I love what you’re doing, I cannot think of a more excellent adventure for you and your family. Hugs to you all!

  26. Poppy says:

    So you’re not all coming back to NYC? Sad face.

    This is only one opportunity that didn’t work out. I know it’s a big deal in the moment, but when other opportunities present themselves and you actually get to go through with them this one will be minimalized. Please just consider this training for how life goes in NYC — a lot of opportunities that never quite materialize, and plenty more that do.

  27. I know how you feel. We’ve had disappointing news like that this week, and for some time. I think as you strive towards achieving your dreams there are many different opportunities you attempt to take on in order to do these. You have to understand that some of these are not going to play out the way you want.
    I’ve learned to detach from the outcome. I know that whatever happens, it was meant to be that way, as something better is on the way. And for everything that doesn’t turn out I spend time looking for the lesson. There is something in it I have to learn in order to make the next better thing work
    So maybe for you instead of being featured on this program you may end up getting your own :)

  28. KDrausin says:

    I understand. The trick is to continue to dream and do with the graceful art of letting go. See it, want it, believe and let go.

    (btw-I keep signing up to get your posts in my email box and I never do. Am I doing something wrong?)

  29. martymankins says:

    Robin said it best and most simple. Keep telling your story. The will be others that are interested Ito hear. You’ve gathered a lot of online support already.

    • Miss Britt says:

      I have to confess, I’m having a hard time finding new people to tell my story to lately! I feel like I’ve already told it repeatedly to anyone who wants to listen.

  30. the muskrat says:

    I’ll get this way sometimes when a potential client I really like and want to help calls and then decides to go somewhere else, but I get over it immediately after I burn his house down!

  31. [...] thought back to a few weeks ago when I was kicking myself for getting disappointed about unrealized expectations. I had resolved then not to beat myself up for having natural [...]

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