The Wedding Incident

Somewhere there is a newlywed couple enjoying their honeymoon and trying to forget about the obnoxious woman who interrupted their wedding.

That woman is me.

I spent last weekend sharing a hotelroom with Hilly and Becky at the Doubletree hotel in Lexington, Kentucky.  The hotel was beautiful and featured an indoor courtyard with a lovely fountain just inside the front doors.  It was set up like an indoor atrium with the corridors to each hotel room risiing up on all four sides of the courtyard/lobby.

Saturday night as we walked out of our rooms to head over to the ConFab party, we noticed a wedding was taking place downstairs in the courtyard.  Naturally, we made an effort to be especially quiet as we headed down the hall to the elevator.

As I walked down the hall and watched the wedding over the railing, I noticed that the bride was wiping away tears.

How sweet, I thought.

We gathered into the elevator and prepared for the trip down to the main lobby.  There were 7 us sandwiched into the elevator – all bloggers headed for a night of partying.

“Did you see the wedding?” someone asked.

“Yeah,” someone else answered.

“Seems like a strange place for a wedding,” someone commented.

“It’s pretty,” someone else offered.

“Yeah,” I agreed.  “But… well… it just seems like you’re just asking for problems.  I mean, I can’t imagine having my ceremony right in a hotel lobby like that.  Can you imagine someone running through the front doors and before they notice what’s going making a bunch of noise and stuff?”

“No kidding,” someone nodded.

“God, that would be awful,” I went on.  ” Just imagine some family walking in with a loud ass kid screaming ‘MOMMMMM! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOOOOM!”

“Oh my God,” the entire elevator seemed to whisper in unison and horror.

“I’m just saying – “

“Britt…”

And they all proceeded to file out of the open elevator doors.  Directly into the lobby.  Where the wedding was being held.

I stood in the now empty elevator and the silence around me echoed.  The perfect imitation I had just down of a loud and obnoxious child rang in my ears – in much the same way, I imagine, it had just rang out through the open elevator doors.  Into the lobby.  Where the wedding was being held.

I scurried out of the elevator as quickly as I could and headed towards the front doors.  I nearly ran into the hotel employee who was standing between me and the wedding party, lips pursed, one finger held up to her mouth to indicate that we needed to shush.

And then I prayed really hard that I would die.

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Comments

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  1. *pixie* says:

    You gave them a memory. :)

  2. Karl says:

    Yep, you’re pretty much going to hell.

  3. Mama Bub says:

    I’m sorry, but this has made my whole day.

  4. Sheila says:

    That is hilarious! I’m sure you’ll forever be remembered on their wedding day!

  5. Bill Brister says:

    That is AWESOME!!! You need to tell that story to every one … when my wife and I were married 3 years ago we did it in Islamorada … gorgeous beach wedding … sunset … it was perfect! Then we got the wedding video. We loved it … all the way till the end when the camera man MUST have been convinced the group in the pool drinking with sunglasses not only knew Dawn and Bill, they were our best friends … this guy goes on about how long they have known us and how proud they are for the wedding and they wish us all the happiness!

    To this day … we have NO idea who those people are when our credits roll on our wedding video!

    If you wanna watch it – lemme know. Dawn and I laugh our asses off every time!

    Bill Brister

  6. Lynda says:

    Bah, that’s not so bad. They should have locked the elevator otherwise. haha

  7. That’s not so bad!

    I know a couple who had their reception in a hotel on the same weekend that the hotel was hosting a mascot convention. So there are literally people walking around in blue raccoon suits in the background of their wedding pictures lol.

    So it could be worse; you could have been dressed like a pink rabbit or something.

  8. Faiqa says:

    Hahahaha, that was really cute.

    But, really, Britt, if it hadn’t been you, it would have someone else.

    Come on. It’s the LOBBY of a HOTEL. That’s what they GET for not getting married in a church. (Kidding. Obviously).

  9. thetutugirl says:

    I’m with Faiqa- having your wedding in a hotel lobby is asking for it to be interrupted.

  10. Avitable says:

    And Buford, the drunken uncle who always makes an ass of himself at every event, sighed with relief that the family will be talking about someone else that day.

  11. kapgar says:

    So that’s what the Tweet was all about. Here I thought you woke up in a drunken stupor with the groom.

  12. Hallie says:

    So I SHOULDN’T be laughing right now???

    Hallie :)
    http://www.firstgiving.com/hallietwomey

  13. Coma Girl says:

    Oh it’s their own fault for having a wedding in a hotel lobby!

    I thought that was pretty funny, but I’m evil.

  14. See….. this is why I got married in Vegas. If anything crazy happened, I could say, “Oh, well, you know it’s Vegas so whaddaya expect?”

    Hotel lobby marriages are just ASKING for trouble. I think it’s funny!

  15. Hilly says:

    As someone who had to walk through that lobby two more times after everyone went outside, I can tell you that you ruined nothing. They were all lovey dovey and happy.

    Besides, really…what a fucking dumb place to have a wedding. Sheesh.
    :)

  16. Sarah says:

    I am blushing right along with you. But yeah, laughing, too. I love you.

    Every wedding has one of those moments where the Serious Face breaks and everyone laughs. You NEED that. I think you were that for those people! So think of it as a good deed!

  17. steen says:

    Honestly? I wouldn’t worry about it, haha. Everyone has memories like that from their wedding. :D

    When my husband’s cousin was getting married, it was a beautiful ceremony at her dad’s lake house. The weather was fine and the lake made a wonderful backdrop. And then this guy comes tooling along on his WaveRunner — he was at least nice enough to cut the engine when he realized there was a wedding going on — but what REALLY got everyone looking was the fact that he had his dog sitting on the WaveRunner in front of him.

    Once the groom caught sight of it, he couldn’t help but to laugh so everyone — the bride included — took a moment to stop and wave at the guy. It was funny and the couple was laughing about it at the reception.

    It’s rare to have the perfect wedding. (Even mine had some hiccups that we had to laugh or shrug off.)

  18. Turnbaby says:

    LMAO!! Oh sugar that just gives them another story to tell. I can’t imagine they would have a wedding there if they were so uptight that would ‘ruin’ it.

  19. ali says:

    this is so, EXACTLY, something I would do.
    haha.

  20. liz says:

    good lord! it was a *public* place for crissake. perhaps a library would have been a more appropriate venue if they wanted total silence.

  21. That was absolutely nothing compared to what I thought the story might end up being. As far as I’m concerned, you proved your own point. It’s a stupid place to hold a wedding.
    (Not judgmental at all)

    xo

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Princess of the Universe, it seems a lot of people thought it would be worse. Do you know how many people asked if I slept with the groom?!?! Sheesh.

  22. Kristin says:

    Priceless. I could picture that totally on a Mastercard commercial…you need to contact MC on that one and get yourself on a commercial.

    I guarantee that wedding group talked about that all night – hopefully, it’s on video somewhere! Hey, you might inadvertantly end up on YouTube or Am Fun Hom Videos!!! Make sure they don’t take all the credit…

  23. Finn says:

    Oh the irony.

    If that’s the worst thing that happened at their wedding they got off easy. Besides, weddings are boring. You did them a favor.

  24. My co-worker’s sister had her wedding on a beach and there is a drunk naked guy in the background of all of their wedding photos.

    P.S. At least you remember part of the weekend :)

  25. Nobody™ says:

    You’re awesome.

  26. Erica says:

    I’m sure it seemed a lot worse to you than it did to the couple. In the grand scheme of things, that awkward moment shouldn’t trump the other sweet, moving moments that I assume they had at the wedding. If the couple is smart, they have either forgotten about the whole thing, or they are somewhere laughing their heads off.

  27. perpstu says:

    Hi-LAR-ious. That is all. That so could have been me….

  28. Sybil Law says:

    Hahahahaha!
    Still – they asked for it. Seriously.
    Hahahahahaha!

  29. Kristin says:

    You did give them a memory! It’s the crazy little moments that break up the most nerve racking day of your life that they will remember, and you are probably on the top of that list of moments!

  30. Robin says:

    Good thing I didn’t invite you to my wedding, I have enough friends that do that already =)

  31. Darla says:

    That makes me laugh.

  32. Didn’t ModernSingleMomma get married in Lexington this weekend?

    Did they look like this?

    http://www.modernmarriedmomma.com/als-bar-wedding-highlights/

  33. Summer says:

    I feel your embarrassment. Once in Florida we were at a beautiful public garden and a wedding was taking place. Somehow we got the car alarm of our rental car going off and didn’t know how to stop it. We ran back to the car, dove in and drove away with it blaring.

  34. Tonz says:

    I’m always the person that does that. It’s nice to hear about someone else doing it sometimes. I am sorry, but it makes me feel better!

  35. i’m glad we are friends. if i ever decide to do something crazy like get married, scream and make a fuss, k? ruin the moment so i stap out of the insanity!

    (p.s. i don’t think they heard you. if the elevator would have been facing the lobby where the wedding was it would have been awful, but i’m pretty sure you were ok. xoxo)

    • Miss Britt says:

      @hello haha narf, are you kidding me?

      If you ever decide to get married I am going to go NUTS with the wedding planning and the makeover extraordinaire!!!

  36. and by stap i totally mean SNAP.

  37. What the fuck were you thinking?

    HEH! Kidddddddding!! I kind of think it’s funny, and it’s not near as bad as what I was imagining – I thought you went crazy or something and made a humungous scene. It’s okay, it happens, and they have a memory.

    And, besides… they’re the idiots who decided to have a wedding in a hotel lobby where there could have been something wayyyyy more obnoxious happening other than, “MOMMMM I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHHHHHROOOOOOOOOM!”

    I kind of think it’s funny, if I do say so myself. I think if I would have been the ones with you in the elevator, it would have taken every single ounce of power I had in my body to hold back the “PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSS AAhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahaha” pee my pants laugh.

    And? That totally would have been something I would have done. FOR SURE.

  38. OMG LMFAO. I choked on my lunch. Only you Britt. Only you.

  39. whall says:

    It may interest you to know that there was a kid in the Make-A-Wish Program, Cory, who declared as his wish this single, solitary plea: “I wanna be play a memorable part in someone’s wedding before I die.”

    The staff at the Program worked diligently to find an answer to his wish, but months of meticulous searching turned up nothing but disappointment.

    However, at the last minute (literally; he was but a few moments from succumbing to the Angels’ Pull), he bolted straight upright in his hospital bed, tossing off the electrodes and blankets and instantly knew how he could make his own wish happen for himself.

    He summoned all his might, squeezed his eyes shut tight and willed his thoughts into finding the nearest, dearest, most open and loving soul available to help him be a part of making his wish come true, even if he couldn’t do it in person. His eyebrows started to strain from the incredible effort. Beads of 7yr old sweat glistened as they exuded from 7yr old sweat glands. He tried hard and harder. Eventually his mind reached the hazy feeling of a tactile press of a finger on an elevator button, and as he concentrated, the inviting sounds of socializing and humor flowed into his thoughts. A slight elevator ding fuzzed into being and then softly faded away.

    He then knew what he could do. He could channel himself through this wonderful, if insecure, vehicle. Feeling the warmth of character embodied in this distant avatar, he pushed through with every ounce of effort to just. get. through. He knew he could do it if he tried hard enough. He pushed. Prodded. Pleaded. And then he found his opening.

    Britt, you are loved for this.

  40. whall wins best comment. EVER.

  41. Fantastagirl says:

    Yep, whall wins- best comment EVER…

    It could have been worse, you could have been talking about the grooms sister, and not realizing the person you were talking to had a mic, which was on – and the whole congregation heard what you were saying…

  42. Dave2 says:

    I think they’ve already filed for divorce, so no big loss.

  43. Thus illustrating perfectly the point you were making. Duh!

    We had our wedding in a very public location. I think about three dozen picnickers witnessed our wedding, and they both offered us beer before we walked down the aisle and toasted us with it when we came back up. They were one of the many highlights of the day, actually. Maybe the couple will feel just as fondly about your elevator performance one day.

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