Thursday’s Child sent this twitter:

“Women Bloggers: Have you seen this yet? I thought you’d find it particularly delicious. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30709961″

Hey, I’m a woman blogger!  So I checked out the link.

Apparently, yet another marketing company is trying to figure out how to market to women.  The computer company, Dell, has recently launched a new site it’s calling “Della” that is supposed to be targeted towards women.

Women in the 1950s, perhaps.

From the MSN article:

“Computer sales have slowed down, but has it really come to this? Dell, the world’s second largest manufacturer of PCs, last week launched a cutesy site for women called “Della.” What’s next, “Dello” for guys? Maybe No. 1 PC maker H-P wants to do something similar like “Hewlett-Packarda” for females, and “Hewlett-Packardo,” as in Ricky Ricardo, for men?

Sounds silly, just as silly as Della is. Netbooks and laptops are presented as fashion statements, and the site’s “tech tips” includes a feature, “Seven Unexpected Ways a Netbook Can Change Your Life,” which starts out by saying, “Once you get beyond how cute they are, you’ll find that netbooks can do a lot more than check your e-mail.”

Among those uses: Finding recipes online (Wow! I didn’t know you could do that!), making “your mini … your meditation buddy as you take mini-breaks throughout your day (schedule them, with reminders, on your calendar),” and using a netbook “to track calories, carbs and protein with ease, watch online fitness videos, map your running routes and more.”"

I had to quote it from the article because it seems that “Della” has already gotten to updating their article and included words like “home office” and “translate your blogs into other languages” into the mix.

Gee, thanks.

Yet again, another marketing company fails miserably to connect with women.  And do you know why?  Because they can’t seem to figure out that women have brains and don’t need to be talked down to in order to be courted.  Apparently we make major purchasing decisions based on how ‘cute’ something is and whether or not it will help us ‘track carbs’.

Seriously?

Here’s a tip: if you want my money, don’t talk to me like I’m a moron.

That money you’re asking for?  I made it.  In fact, more and more women – I’d venture to say most

women – are responsible for earning at least a portion of their disposable income.  We’re no longer living in a world where women are sitting at home trying to decide how to spend the weekly allowance their working husbands gave them.

Try to imagine you’re talking to someone who is capable of holding down a job.

The thing is, you know the people who work at these companies were raised by and are married to women.  Hell, I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that these companies actually have female employees.  They might even let women make real life actual decisions.  So why, when it comes to trying to sell their products to women, do they stop thinking about the women they know and immediately start talking to some washed up stereotype of what a woman was supposed to be?

Do you know what I buy based on whether or not it’s cute?

Clothes.  And shoes.  And fashion accessories.

And here’s a newsflash – the fashion industry understands that cute isn’t enough.  Women pay more for quality construction and fabric in our clothing.  Yes, even when it comes to fashion, we are able to comprehend concepts like value.

Do you know what else we understand?

Technology.

Math.

Computers.

Science.

Are there really people out there who see all of the hugely successful, powerful women in the world and assume that she must have some male assistant somewhere handling all of her technical issues and checking her email for her?  Really?

Why is this so hard for marketing and PR firms to figure out?  Women are taken seriously in politics and board rooms and households across the world, but brand managers remain completely clueless about how to talk to us.  I am absolutely baffled as to what is causing such confusion.  I’d also like to know what women these companies are consulting when they are putting together these campaigns.

I mean, surely it’s occurred to them to talk to women, right?

By the way, Dell?  Here’s another tip for you.  When you’re deciding what to name your new site?  Maybe pick a name with an available domain, instead of one that is already owned and being used by another company.

And thus concludes your marketing lesson for the day.

You’re welcome.