No Title In The World Will Make This Less Mundane

I spent most of January and February trying to improve my health.  I committed to walking or exercising every day, I started using the Wii.  By the end of February, I’d established a pretty regular routine of good diet and regular activity.

I spent most of March figuring out just how long it would take to fuck my body up completely.

Turns out?  Not very long.

I started smoking again.  Daily.  Regularly.  Full time, I buy my own, and not just when I drink smoking.  So there’s four months of commitment down the drain.

I drove the low carb wagon off a cliff.  I’ve eaten more donuts  and bread and pizza and ice cream and potatoes in the last 4 weeks than I’ve eaten in the last 4 years.

This morning I hauled out the yoga mat for the first time in about a month.  Turns out cigarettes and pizza and sitting on your ass make yoga harder.  Can you imagine?  *sigh*

So, once again I’ve gotten myself back to square one.  And once again, I’m starting over.  And I’m OK with that.

I mean, I’m a little pissed at how difficult it was to bend over and touch my toes this morning.  Good Lord I swear I must have gotten taller in the last month because there is no way my feet were that far away before.  But it doesn’t do me any good to stay pissed at myself about.  It sure won’t make me more flexible.

And I realize this has got to be dull as hell for anyone else to read – but it’s where I’m at today.  Trying to take better care of my body.  Finally ready to face myself for what I’ve been doing to it for the last month.

So.  Yeah.  Hi.

Where are you at today?

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  1. kapgar says:

    I’m recovering from a 101 fever. That’s about it. Didn’t exercise at all this weekend because either I or Katie was sick. Not pretty.

    Sorry to hear it’s all striking back at once. I hope you beat it all down and take control back.

  2. avitable says:

    So are you saying that you don’t want that case of cigarettes I bought you as a present?

  3. delmer says:

    I’ve been drinking too much caffeine lately. I’d done a fair job of giving it up for a while, but in the end I just like diet pop too much. And I can’t buy caffeine-free diet pop as that would be like buying colored water and a *total* waste of money. I thought

    I’d take another stab at it April 1.

  4. I’m at the same point you’re at right now – minus the smoking, because I don’t smoke. Either way, today I’m starting over too, because I’ve been failing miserably.

    THIS MONDAY – TODAY, is the Monday I’m sticking to my guns.

    I’m joining a gym. And I WILL not give up. You won’t either! :)

    You’re not alone. Promises.

  5. Michelle says:

    Also about to get back on the wagon. I sooo relate (except for the smoking). Have used the excuse of stress to fuck up everything and spend the early hours between 2 – 4am wodering what it feels like to sleep through the night…

  6. Jane says:

    I’ll take the cigarettes Avitable was going to send you. I can do yoga and smoke at the same time, because I’m super talented like that.

  7. Karen MEG says:

    I haven’t worked out in over 3 months because I sprained my knee….yeah, that’s the ticket. Because the ONLY exercise I can do is the hip hop dance variety kind, yeah, the ONLY one. That’s my reason and I’m sticking to it. (Gahhh, I told myself if it wasn’t better by April I’d have to start pilates/yoga in the gym…Wii fit yoga apparently don’t cut it). Oh, and although I’m on the precipice of a 3rd gall bladder attack I have to have my daily cupcake, the odd chip and of course at least 6 squares of chocolate. I like to live dangerously.

    Getting taller is good…at least you’re not shrinking.

    Happy Spring to ya!

  8. whall says:

    Is this a bad time to point out your improper use of the word “mundane”?

  9. Jennifer says:

    Britt seriousy stop the smoking.I quit after smoking since 1984. Think about how many pairs of shoes you can buy with all the $ you spend on damn cigarettes.I know it is not easy but so worth it.We want you around to Britt Bitch for a long time to come.

  10. Britt's Mom says:

    sigh. I would volunteer to be your low carb buddy but that probably has no teeth with us 1400 miles apart. Cuz God knows I need one too.

  11. NYCWD says:


    You can touch your toes???


    I haven’t seen mine in two decades.

    That should infinitely make you feel better about yourself.

  12. Momma says:

    This is creepy…..
    You know how sometimes when you can’t get right to sleep at night and you lay there “woolgathering”? Well…..a couple of nights ago I was just thinking of random things and you popped into my head, sitting on your lanai SMOKING!
    You are in real trouble, girl! Just ask DeannaBanana…I KNOW things!!!! but…normally just my girls….It be by osmosis through contact with her…..or you’re one of my girls now too. On the other hand, that’ll make it more reasonable for me to clean and cook at your house instead of DeannaBanana’s in November ;o)
    ……Nope, she’s gonna kill you.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Momma, figures I pick myself up another mom and she lives even FARTHER away than my real one.

      When are you coming again? November? That’s like… FOREVER.

      • Momma says:

        @Miss Britt, Oh God, No. I wouldn’t begin to think I could be your Mom. You have one. I just meant it was creepy about the vision of you smoking when those feelings normally only come about my daughters. Anyway, I’m likely as old as your Gramma. (Almost 66 years old)

        • Miss Britt says:

          @Momma, I know you didn’t mean it that way. LOL But in MY family we tend to adopt. A lot.

          • Momma says:

            @Miss Britt, Ours, too. DeannaBanana always brought kids home like other children bring stray puppies. Although we only have four kids, normally we’d have eight, staying months at a time ’till they could re-connect (or somethin’) with their parents

  13. Sybil Law says:

    You mean you’re human?!!! :)
    Kidding. You can do it. If anyone can, you can.
    My day is a typical shit Monday. Woohooo!

  14. Dude. Remember all that fucking exercising and running and shit I was doing? That was over last September. I have yet to get off my ass. I haven’t gained any weight, but I am softer than a keg of Charmin.
    We gotsta get our act together here.
    Daren is feeling soft too after 10 weeks of school, so him and I are competing to see who can lose 20 pounds quicker. Course, he said, “Wanna lose 20 pounds together?” and my competitive head thought, “I’m gonna kick his ass.” Ha ha ha…we’ll see.

  15. Misty says:

    I’m right there with ya, including the smoking. Quit for 6 months and started again.

    I wish all of us success.

  16. Hilly says:

    I’m totally with you…well, except a bit chunkier and less healthy but still….with you.

    I’m once again eating low carb now that I am home, mostly because I just feel and sleep better when I am doing so. I’ll hit the road in a couple weeks and fuck it all up but as soon as I am settled into my new house, I am going on dedication overdrive. My last excuse for not making my changes was my life being so crazy and awful at home. Once that is gone, there is no reason not to be all healthy and get thinner again!

  17. Finn says:

    I rejoined the gym yesterday; I start back next week. My body is tight from stress and my back and shoulders are giving me fits because of it. I need to sweat it out and do some yoga to relax and get my flexibility back.

  18. I haven’t yet found a way to get to that commitment stage. I sooo want to improve my eating and fitness . . . and I soooo don’t want to do it. Good for you!

  19. Vic says:

    At least you’re starting over. I took the option that saw me carrying on eating myself into oblivion. Still there now actually.

  20. Donna says:

    Up way to early!!! And now that I’ve read your post, adding something else to my list of things to do!

    You just hit a snag. I know you’ll get to where you want to go!

  21. Ren says:

    My exercise and diet took a break when we went on our cruise, and while I was able to get back on the diet fairly well when we returned, I’ve yet to start exercising again. Haven’t even turned on the Wii since before the cruise. Maybe this week… or next.

  22. Robina says:

    And I was just wondering how your no smoking was going. But Britt, so many people have to try over and over again to finally be quit for good. (That can’t be proper english!) And girl, I had been going to the gym 3 and 4 times a week for six months. Got up to one hour on the elliptical and still wasn’t tire. Then I got bronchitis, for six weeks, and havn’t back since. That was in freaking October!!! So, yea, that’s where I am.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Robina, yeah, I’d put off telling the Internet about smoking. You guys were all so encouraging. I feel like I let the whole Internet down!

  23. Jay says:

    There’s a brand new gym about one mile from my apt. It’s open 24 hours too. It’s perfect. I can walk there, work out and walk home.

    But, I haven’t joined. I figure if I’m not going to use the FREE gym here at my apt complex, why would I use the one a whole mile from me?

  24. Hire a personal trainer. Here’s why:

    1. You’ll bet much better results because you’ll be accountable to someone else. Walking is for old people.

    2. If you choose wisely, he’ll be hot. Nothing better than having a hot trainer. And remember, you’re paying him so he has to do everything you tell him to.

  25. Darla says:

    Hi honey. I’m sorry.

    I’m trying really hard not to throw away 3 mos of walk/running interval training 4 days a week and just lay in bed in the mornings.

    SRSLY, this changing your life is HARD.

    It’s a mental game. Every. Day.

  26. bo says:

    I’m somehow losing weight, for the first time since…probably ever. Sure this sounds enviable, especially when I add in that I haven’t changed my diet or started exercising. But I’m worried, actually. There are lots of diseases (cancer) that list sudden weight loss as a symptom. So of course, I’m here worried that I’m consumptive or that I have tuberculosis or the plague. Or, you know, cancer.

  27. Mr Lady says:

    I almost quit smoking.

    I almost cut out carbs.

    I’ve eaten more carbs and smoked more smokes this month than I think I ever have before.

    We should do this together or something.

  28. I’d prefer to read this type of post than one by someone who works out all the time and is disciplined about food. Wait. That’s my husband. And I really don’t like that about him.

  29. perpstu says:

    I started a low carb diet this morning and then promptly forgot about it and ate granola for breakfast. *sigh* If you start over, so will I!

  30. I was off the wagon in December, back on with a vengeance in the new year, then quit again for no good reason a few weeks ago. I am back on with no excuses this time.

    So, what I am saying is, that what you are doing seems to be normal. :)

  31. Faiqa says:

    Are you complaining about being able to smoke, drink and eat whatever you want without short term repercussions? Screw you. I would sell my mother for a cigarette, right now.

  32. Toe says:

    I ate a whole 5 inch piece of chocolate cream cake, half a peanut cream cheese cake slice and a whole bottle of vodka. Sometimes thee falls of thy wagon.

  33. Elisa says:

    Ok, it is evil that I am secretly relieved you have the same issues we all do? ’cause for a moment (or rather, a year, more or less) there you seemed beautiful and funny and honest and without discernible flaws.

    I’m with you, I need to get my ass into gear too. Let’s all bitch about how much work getting back into shape is ;-)

    • Miss Britt says:

      I may just print this out and put it on my mantle. And my bathroom mirror. And my husband’s pillow.

      And I’ll be all “Ha! Look it! Someone thought I was beautiful and funny and WITHOUT DISCERNIBLE FLAWS!”

      And then I’ll have to tell him to stop laughing before I throw a sippy cup at his head or something.

      So – thank you. :-) But, yeah, totally as fucked up and flawed as the next person. If not more so.

  34. Courtney says:

    pretty much fell off the wagon of doing my 5k in 30 minutes. I bet its up at 50 now…. i’m screwed.

    ill start over…. tomorrow?

  35. I’ve been starting over EVERY Monday for about a year now. Today = FAIL, again. There’s always next week, I suppose.

  36. Same on all aspects over here. I feel like such a failure about smoking especially. But at the same time, I can imagine having a drink and a smoke with you over a chat. I too think I love you a little more that you are flawed like the rest of us. Now tell me, is Adam flawed apart from being a perverted fucker??

    • Miss Britt says:

      @J from Ireland, but you’re not surprised that I’m flawed, right?

      I mean, this whole blog is basically a shrine to my flaws!

      Adam is the most flawed motherfucker I know.

  37. Amber says:

    I just wrote a blog entry about wanting to lose weight.

    It’s very difficult for me as I love to eat.

    And I love caffeine.

  38. Ouch! I feel some of that pain. In Dec., Jan and most of February I worked my way up to five workouts a week. Then I got the flu, which lasted for three weeks. I had no energy to work out. Then we went on a trip. Then I was tired from the trip.

    Last week, I finally made it back for 3 workouts, and let me tell you yoga on Weds was very very hard.

    The thing is, Miss Britt, it’s about the JOURNEY, right? So you fell off the wagon. Get back on again and cut yourself a break.

  39. Robin says:

    The falling off the wagon shit….it happens. At least you’re actually starting over…some people just say fuck it and live in gluttony. :) Be. Easy. I know you know what I mean when I say that…and don’t give up on yourself.

  40. Fantastagirl says:

    at least you have the strength to get back on…

  41. Poppy says:

    No joke, I just turned to Dawg and said “I’m taking up smoking.” He asked why… I said because.

    I have had the urge a lot lately…

  42. Poppy says:

    Oh, and I meant I told him before I saw this post. You did not just inspire me to smoke.

  43. Wait… you’re telling me that taking my entire pregnancy off from yoga and using “postpartum recovery” as my excuse for not doing it for the past four months is not going to make my first day back a breeze? Are you suggesting that my daily Wii-ins and body tests (but no actual exercise) is not making me a more fit individual?

    That would explain why the back fat isn’t going away.

  44. Wendy says:

    Ok. I think March is Alcohol Awareness month. As in are you aware of how much alcohol you can drink in one month? And I was starting over again today too. I walk 2-1/2 miles each day at lunch. It’s really not that hard. Not like cycling or whatever that was. OMG. I did try the eliptical machine. Once. Ewww. So I walk. And I haven’t been. And I’ve eaten too much. And drinking. Oh let me tell you. That margarita recipe was a hit. So now I’m trying. And I forgot my tennis shoes today. I. SUCK. Oh well. There is tomorrow.

  45. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Britt. It happens and the cool thing is that you have plenty of opportunities to start over again if you want to. At least, for now, I won’t feel guilty if we’re smoking outside the Sheraton Hotel in chicago together. XOXOX

  46. Lauren says:

    I’m sick so I’m laying in bed watching tv or blogs and eating crap, ALL DAY LONG except for the trip to the convenience store to buy said crap and cigarettes.

  47. RebTurtle says:

    While my wife has been busy baking our next baby, I’ve managed to add about 7 lbs of sympathy to myself. Somehow I see less of the “sym” and more of the “pathetic” in the mirror. Even my dogs are getting rolly-polly. I’m ready for spring-summer to hit with a vengeance so I can stop using the weather as a pitiful excuse for not getting out more.

    Not to worry, I have a host of other excuses. >:[

  48. Lynette says:


    I’m at the corner of glazed donuts and sugar cookies. Hello 8lbs that I lost a while back, I’m NOT happy to see you.

  49. Tracy says:

    If it makes you feel any better…I’m smoking again, off the South Beach wagon, and haven’t touched my Wii Fit in waaaaay over a month. Yeah, my body is a temple….of DOOM. :)

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