On Choosing and Being Chosen

I got knocked up about two months after my 19th birthday.

A year later, 9 years ago today, I was married.

When you find yourself pregnant, a mother, and a wife – in that order – you give up on some fantasies. You never have the surprise proposal on a weekend getaway, with the boyfriend whose name you’ve been writing with yours down on one knee. You give up the glass slipper dream, with Prince Charming pick you out of a crowd and knowing that you are the one.

You let go of being chosen by more than timing and fertility gods.

I struggled with that for a long time. No matter how many times Jared told me that he loved me, that I really and truly was the love of his life, there was always the nagging voice in the back of my head that asked what if.

What if you hadn’t gotten off the pill?

What if you hadn’t had too much to drink?

What if you hadn’t gotten pregnant?

What if he didn’t have to be with you?

Would he still?

Did you rob him of his chance at true love? Did you take away his chance at choosing as much as you lost your chance at being chosen?

That’s a lot of doubt and insecurity to make room for in a marriage. And we’ve been living with that in our marriage for a very, very long time. Almost 9 years.

And then a few weeks ago, alone in my car after having dropped Emma off at daycare, I remembered what I had learned about choosing. I found myself thinking about the fact that two years ago I owned up to the fact that I choose this life every single day. I let go of my own claustrophobia about my life and embraced the fact that I don’t have to be here – or anywhere – but that I am. Because I want to be.

Yes, I have obligations and people who count on me. But people walk away from their obligations every day. It’s not exemplary behavior – but it’s an option. A real option for everyone of us every day. Of course, me walking away from my life would be hurtful to be people I care about – but we hurt the ones we love all the time in the name of selfish needs. It can be done. It can be done, if we choose it.

But I don’t. I choose this. I choose motherhood and being a wife to Jared. I choose them and this life every morning when I wake up here and every night when I lay my head down in our bed.

I remembered, in the car that day a few weeks ago, how liberating it had been to realize that I was still very much in control of my life and my decisions. How freeing it was to know that I was not now, nor had I ever been, a victim of my circumstances.

I loved this family, this man, this boy, this girl – not because they had grown on me over time – but because I wanted more than anything to love them.

And a few weeks ago I realized it was time to extend that same… power… to Jared.

It wasn’t fair for me to tell him that he was here because he had to be – especially not when he told me with his own mouth that he loved me. It wasn’t fair for me to question his sincerity or his happiness. It wasn’t fair for me to rob him of that authority on his own life.

It wasn’t fair for my insecurities to make him trapped when he insisted he chose me.

So… I let it go.

In the car by myself with the radio off, two blocks from our front door, I let it go. Or rather, I gave it back. To him. I gave him back the right to choose me and I gave myself permission to believe him.

I’ve messed up a lot of things in this marriage over the last nine years. I’ve gotten made a lot of assumptions and gotten a lot of things wrong. But, I was right about one thing.

It feels good to be chosen.

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  1. Shash says:

    Beautiful post. Happy Anniversary, Britt and Jared. You both chose wisely and beautifully. Mazel tov! (oh, and I love you guys. Fo reals, yo!)

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Shash, and we love you too. Jared said, and I quote, “you meet some pretty cool people on the Internet” after meeting you.

      And of course, my kids love you too.

  2. Dave2 says:

    Well, I certainly can’t compete with Jared, but I do choose to read your blog… so I choose you too!

  3. you gave me chills. such a wonderful post to share with us.

    especially since my beautiful cousin is only 21 with a new baby and a brand new husband…and more than a few fears. perfect timing. thank you.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @hello haha narf, if she ever needs to talk – you give her my number. Or email. Or whatever.

      It’s not easy. It’s not what we dream of. But it can be wonderful.

  4. Well said, I think a lot of us struggle with this but I sure don’t know how to put these thoughts into words the way you do. Every time I read your blog it’s like my own thoughts echoing in my head, so yeah I choose to come back every day :))

  5. Catherine says:

    That just about brought me to tears. You had one of those moments that is really what this life is all about, and I’m glad you shared it.

  6. Moms At Work says:

    Great great post. It does feel good to feel chosen. Enjoy it.

    Kim Hays

  7. Fantastagirl says:

    Happy Anniversary Britt & Jared –

    May you have many happy years together!

  8. Sarah says:

    This is such a beautiful post. You know they say things get sweeter with time and I’m so happy that after all this time in your marriage you can finally just let yourself be chosen without insecurity.

  9. Lynda says:

    Funny, I was thinking of this very thing today with my relationship…and I still feel I wasn’t really his choice.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Lynda, ouch, honey. That sucks. EVERYONE deserves to be chosen.

      Sometimes you have to look at what he says and does and in MY case, I needed to see that instead of my own insecurities.

      I’m sorry you didn’t come to the same conclusion. :-(

      • Lynda says:

        @Miss Britt, well, the family saying is everything happens for a reason. At least now that I have broken the ties, I’m happier than I’ve been for years.

  10. Selma says:

    A lot of us do wonder if we’ve gone down the right path from time to time. You’ve highlighted so well that there is always a choice. Congratulations on your anniversary. Wishing you many more years together!

  11. Kely says:

    I struggle with this too at times. You have a way with words and I’m glad you are feeling good about being chosen.

    Happy Anniversary!

  12. Beth says:

    Happy Anniversary! I was knocked up about a month after my 19th birthday & married soon after, so I know exactly where you’re coming from. My daughter is now 19 & about 1 month (ummmm yeah! scary!) & Michael & I are still married. The first few years were tough to say the least, but now I know we’re in this together because we both want to be. You told of the feelings very eloquently & put me right back to the beginning…

  13. SciFi Dad says:

    Great post, and Happy Anniversary.

    It’s hard to let go of shit that we’ve convinced ourselves of. I’m proud of you for doing it.

  14. Dawn says:

    Happy anniversary, you guys. Love each other a lifetime. Choose each other always.

  15. Kristin says:

    Happy Annniversary kids!
    Love, ME

  16. Happy Anniversary! I sometimes struggle with the same/similar. Great of you to let it go.

  17. Avitable says:

    Of course, had he known that you would have taken pictures of him getting his hair highlighted and posted on the internet, his choice may have been very different. And involved stabbing.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Avitable, are you kidding? How many women are willing to highlight their husbands hair and STILL tell them how sexy and manly they are?

      I am, clearly, a catch.

  18. Poppy says:

    I have a very candid comment that wouldn’t seem so candid if the entire world didn’t know my boyfriend.


    I am glad you finally started taking ownership of the choices because, good or bad, you got to make them all. What is life without choices?

  19. Poppy says:

    (That wasn’t the candid comment, btw.)

  20. Hockeyman says:

    Well said. Perhaps sometime we can choose to all have lunch sometime in this grand land of Orl and o. :)

  21. Sybil Law says:

    Awww – Happy Anniversary!!!

  22. Finn says:

    Happy Anniversary. I think you both made a great choice.

  23. RW says:

    Any dick can make a baby, but it takes a man to be a father. Yet it isn’t just “being responsible” because staying and growing and dealing with shit and working it out and participating in the plans and doing the work and going along with the deal and driving the kids where they need to go and going out to eat together and putting up with shit and getting up the next day to do it again is a tangible, tactile, obvious, blatant act of love. I don’t get what women want as proof otherwise sometimes. Expressions of affection? Speeches? Anybody can make a nice speech and look like they mean it. Most people can string some good words together. Words. Anybody can say words. But doing it can’t be faked, not year after year.

  24. So why couldn’t I have read this before my post went to publish?

    You really need to start reading my mind a day early, Britt. It’d save me a lot of trouble.

    Now, please stop making me cry at work dammit!

  25. josie says:

    i had the same pattern of events as you. i tend to doubt my current place as my path or my husband’s feeling stuck. now at thirty, i know this is where i want to be and we made this path together. it is all on our own free will that we are here and making sure we remember that.
    now if we could get these three kids to stop following us…

    i just found your blog (as well as adam’s) recently. totally awesome. thank you.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @josie, I think the fact that you start off your marriage as parents makes everything harder. You miss out on that alone couple time so it takes you a little longer to figure some basic relationship things out.

  26. Great realization and great post.

    Wait a minute. . . Does this mean you’re mature now?

  27. daisy says:

    I think that moment you had two years ago was the moment you grew up. I can’t remember exactly the moment I had mine but it was around that time too.

    Congratulation on nine years of marriage. We just celebrated our ninth a couple weeks ago. It has been the one absolute right thing I have ever done.

  28. Chance says:

    Today is my 9th anniversary too!

    I found my self pregnant 2 months before my 20th birthday and chose to do the “reno wedding” thing for the teamster insurance benefits my then beau, now husband had. There are moments that I can not believe I was so foolhardy as to jump into life so dang early. Other moments though I can not imagine my life with out my 2 sons and a husband that honestly does love me the most.

    and it is a wonderful feeling.

    Have a beautiful day!

  29. Ren says:

    Beautiful *and* insightful. Nice combination there.

    And Happy Anniversary!

  30. the irony of fate says:

    Intelligence can be a blessing and a curse. Smart people sometimes find it hard not to always be looking behind the curtain for the “real” reason things are happening. I sometimes find myself deciding whether someone will like me or not before even talking to them, and then avoiding the conversation because “I already know the outcome”. So smart I can’t even see when my insecurities are coloring my perceptions.

    Congratulations on the epiphany and the anniversary.

  31. Robina says:

    That is the sweetest, most profound thing I have read in a while. Very nicely written.

  32. tammy says:

    Thank you.

  33. lizriz says:

    Sometimes it is SO HARD to hear and trust what other people are telling you. But there’s really no other way to go through life. At some point, I think I just started to feel like, I just don’t have time to be second guessing and trying to figure out what someone “really” means or wants, so I’m just going to trust what they’re telling me until they tell me something else.

    Great post!

  34. amanda says:

    lovely post, i feel so very much the same sometimes, about walking away, the choices i made getting preggo at 19 as well, and staying here living this life, and usually feel very guilty for having these feelings, but your post was a breath of fresh air. thank you.

  35. It does feel wonderful to be chosen. And I’m glad that you, too, are a chosen one. :) Happy Anniversary, darlin’! And Jared, too! :)

  36. turnbaby says:

    Happy Anniversary!

  37. mkghist says:

    Britt, you can teach an “old dog new tricks”…this was VERY good, wisely spoken, and with soulful insight. You touched me deeply with this post, you have a gift.
    Thank you.

  38. Anonymous says:

    I’m a big believer in the thought that love is a choice you have to make consciously every day. Sure, there’s the underlying bedrock of love that happens automatically, but that’s about how you FEEL not how you act.

    When you choose to love someone, you make the act of loving him/her an active part of every day. Part of it is not reacting when your buttons get pushed. Part of it is not just saying I love you but being I love you. On the days when Steve and I are “off” it’s usually because one or both of us has blown that off.

  39. Lynn says:

    And again, with actual attribution:

    I’m a big believer in the thought that love is a choice you have to make consciously every day. Sure, there’s the underlying bedrock of love that happens automatically, but that’s about how you FEEL not how you act.

    When you choose to love someone, you make the act of loving him/her an active part of every day. Part of it is not reacting when your buttons get pushed. Part of it is not just saying I love you but being I love you. On the days when Steve and I are “off” it’s usually because one or both of us has blown that off.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Lynn, I was wondering who the smart chic was married to Steve. ;-) LOL

      Yeah, now, why don’t they tell us about all that real life crap when we’re little girls? We’d save ourselves so much heartache.

  40. Donna says:

    Happy Anniversary! Don’t you just love those self revelations? Sometimes they are the most amazing things!

  41. DeannaBanana says:

    Happy Anniversary!! Hope its been bliss for you guys, what with the whole weekend getaway and everything! Cheers!

  42. Musing says:

    To love freely. It truly is beautiful.

    Happy Anniversary!

  43. Krissy says:

    Honestly? I think this is a rather disturbing post. So, in essence what you are saying is that you feel better w/ your life because you have the choice to walk away? Why does that sound profound to any of you reading this? To me it sounds selfish and ridiculous. May I point out the fact that your children did not ask you to be born? Especially when you were so young? And obviously unstable? If it wasn’t in your plan to have a child then why not use birth control?
    You are rationalizing your whole life based on the fact that you CAN but WON’T walk away from it? Alrighty then. I guess it does take all kinds.

    • Finn says:

      @Krissy, welcome to Totally Missed The Fucking Point, population: you.

      Please do the assignment again.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Krissy, honestly? I think there are many much more disturbing things in this world than this post. Or me, for that matter.

      What I’m saying is that I am not a victim of my circumstances. And yeah, not walking away is a choice. That doesn’t mean I deserve a pat on the back for doing “the right thing” – but it means I can’t sit and bitch about being trapped. Because I’m not.

      And no SHIT I should have used birth control. There’s a whole lot of things I SHOULD have done – that’s life. A grown up figures out what to do NEXT.

      You’re stepping dangerously close to the line of accusing me of being less than what my kids deserve, however – and that’s a line I’d caution you not to cross.

      But yes, krissy, it does take all kinds.

      MY kind isn’t afraid to acknowledge that life isn’t cherries and roses but a series of choices that we make – with the opportunity to make another choice always in front of you.

      For future reference, I advise you read things you’re going to comment on more carefully – because this post was about my MARRIAGE and not my PARENTING. Maybe you would come off more lucid if you pulled your examples of the ways I sucked from that.

      • Robin says:

        Wow….just wow. @Miss Britt, the thing that killed me the most about her comment is she basically called you mentally unstable. Well, duh – we’re ALL mentally unstable at 19-20. Shit, I am somewhat mentally unstable now, and i’ll be 30 the end of July. ::wink::

        Some people should just drink a cup of shut the fuck up. Seriously.

  44. Faiqa says:

    Shipping my “Best Marriage” trophy to you, riiight… NOW.

  45. Robin says:

    Fantastic entry. It’s an honest entry about honest feelings and I love reading stuff like that. Here’s to 59 more years :)

  46. Jay says:

    It’s okay Krissy, reading comprehension isn’t everybody’s thing.

    Beautiful post and Happy Anniversary!

  47. Beverly says:

    Thank you for sharing! You have a ministry that can help other young women and men to make the right choice when they find themselves in this situation.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Beverly, oh. Oh. I am so not the poster child for “what to do when you think premarital sex is an AWESOME idea”.

      I truly, truly appreciate the sentiment though.

  48. Stevie Gene says:

    Incredible story, thank you for sharing that with everyone.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Stevie Gene, I’m struggling with how to respond to that. I mean, thank you. Obviously.

      But it seems so strange to me to have someone call it an “incredible story”. I mean, it’s very flattering, but I thin it’s probably giving me way, way too much credit.

      Or something.

      But thank you just the same. And you’re welcome. :-)

  49. AMANDA says:

    WOW! I started reading and the more I read the more and more it sounded like my situation. This whole trusting-what-he-says and not-trapping-him stuff is golden. I have a 13 month old daughter and we are not married yet but live (..and choose) this life everyday… And thanks to your post I am reflecting on everything and starting to realize that I need to cut some slack and stop being so insecure (because he hasn’t asked me to marry him yet) and start appreciating the everyday actions… which do speak way louder than – I do!But I can’t help but feeling that that commitment would make me feel much more secure, but i guess that is just something that I will have to deal with.
    Thanks for your post and Happy Anniversary!

    • Miss Britt says:

      @AMANDA, can I be frank with you for a second?

      We had pretty open discussions about getting married. It wasn’t siting around and waiting because we didn’t (feel like at least) we had that luxury. He did it in his own timing kind of, but after we’d talked about the fact that we needed to decide soon if we were getting married.

      I don’t want to tell you what’s right for you – because I don’t know. But don’t be afraid to SAY “are we planning to get married down the road or what?” And take what he says to THAT at face value.

      /unsolicited assvice. :-)

  50. Krista says:

    Wow, I became pregnant at eighteen, married a year later as well. We’ve been together twelve years and I have felt this way but never realized how he must be trapped by assuming that he would pick a different life. Thanks for the lightbulb moment.

  51. dd says:

    Some people believe that we choose our parents and our life even before we are born. Some believe that when a baby is conceived, if it is going to be a boy, he lies near his mother and vica versa for girls. And I also think that 9 years of marriage already is a proof of his love, and the baby is also a really big test for that, and he passed on that test didn’t he? :P Go kiss him on the cheek now. And tickle that little Emma of yours.
    Best regards.

  52. Erin says:

    What a beautiful post! What the movies never show is that we come to marriage, each with our own baggage and misconceptions that can make things so difficult. The hard work is in overcoming these things. 12 years and counting and we’re still working on it! Happy
    Anniversary to you both. I hope you have many more happy years ahead of you!

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Erin, thank you – and yeah, someone needs to do a movie about the work. And not the dramatic work. The “I am making coffee even though I am late because that is our deal” work.

  53. Becky says:

    Happy Anniversary!! I have been a lurker for awhile but I must chime in and make Krissy’s head explode.

    I was pregnant at 15 and married at 16 (five months along and believed no one could tell LMFAO!). It took a divorce and remarriage to make me a believer that he was in it for the long run. We will be celebrating our 29th anniversary this year. Are there still days I look at him and wonder what the hell I was thinking – not once but twice? Umm hell yes but I make the decision to stay every. single. day. and so does he.

    Your writing amazes me every day. Thank you for sharing this and I sincerely wish you and Jared many, many more years together.

  54. Jazzy says:

    Beautiful post!

  55. CandeeApple says:

    Have you ever found something that comes across your eyes exactly when you needed it? Thank you for your inspiring post and eloquent way of putting the right things into perspective.

  56. Hooray for you!! Some people never get around to the realizations that you talk about here. Some people give up long before they learn those things. Consider yourself blessed that you have and march forth with this blessed knowledge in your heart.


  57. Gwynne says:

    I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son, so I totally understand where you’re coming from! Getting married wasn’t an option for me, bio-dad disappeared for four years, but even if it had been an option, I likely wouldn’t have taken it.

    My family spent my entire pregnancy trying to convince me I’d made the wrong choice in continuing and choosing to keep my son, but everyday, I reminded them that it was MY choice, not anyone else’s choice.

    And now, over 11 years later, everyone finally realizes that my choice was the right one. It’s knowing, even when no one else knew, that I made the right choice that has kept me going over the years!

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Gwynne, hindisght 20/20 and all that, right?

      Thanks for sharing your story though. I always have to remind people (like my little brothers!!) that I am SO NOT THE POSTER CHILD FOR PREMARITAL SEX. I could have just as easily ended up doing this alone.

      You have my respect and admiration. Honestly.

  58. Amanda says:

    WOW…you really hit the nail on the head! I was/am in the same situation. I got pregnant at 20 and married when I was 21. It was hard and it still is, but reading your post… You said exactly how I feel sometimes!

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Amanda, the feeling trapped or the feeling in charge part? I’m going to guess both on different days. LOL

      Man, I’m surprised how many people are saying “yeah, I did that too” – I thought everyone else in the world waited until they were 30 to get married these days!

  59. Melissa says:

    Happy Anniversary! I celebrated my 9-year last month and have pretty much the same story as you! Met my hubby at 19, pregnant a month later, married the year after that. ;o)

  60. beautiful post.

    Happy Anniversary.

  61. Kat says:

    That. Is. Awesome.
    And… I’m bawling again.
    This is just such a wise post.
    Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! :)

  62. Amber says:

    That was a great blog,im 21 and have a 10 month old (who is my life) and wonder everyday if me and the fiance would still be together had it not been for her because we defiantly have our share of lots of problems and i am very insecure and def. wear the pants and tell him what to do and what not to do but you blog has given me the nudge to finally let go like i’ve wanted to for a long time and let him do his own thing, if he wants to be around me and love me he will, if not fuck him. Thanks

  63. Michelle says:

    I stumbled upon your blog, this entry really made me smile. ^_^ I’m 17 and living with my boyfriend. He brought up marriage.. (he wants to marry me once I turn 18). I am so scared, but I believe its what I truly want. I didn’t think happy relationships existed- I’ve never saw any growing up. Couples like you give me hope that this will work out! Not everyone’s life is horrid once their married, as tv and my messed up family makes me believe. xD Much love. <3

  64. Shelley says:

    I usually read my favorite blogs and just move on to the next one until they are all read.

    But this one,well,I really stopped to think about it and it reminded be of a quote that I read once.

    A happy marriage happens when you fall in love over and over again….with the same person.

    However it happened it sounds like your lucky to have found each other. Happy Anniversary!

  65. whall says:

    Rather than coming up with something witty, snarky, or romantic I’m just gonna stop right here.

  66. April says:

    My husband and I went through this our first year of marriage. We had a LOT of fights because of my doubts. I finally listened to him and our marriage was the better for it. Thankfully I did not wait nine years. I did not have the ability to wait nine years before something real separated us. He is and always will be the love of my life and I am just sorry that I wasted the time that I did.

  67. Dad Reckonng says:

    My situation started out the same, except that 4 years in my ex-wife decided to walk away. In her case I think it had less to do with insecurity & was more about not understanding things like commitment, responsibility and obligation.

    I never planned to get married or have kids, so my daughter changed my life in a big way. I gave up the parties & late nights & eventually even gave up my motorcycle. Please keep in mind that I did so willingly & without reservation. I hear all this talk about Fathers leaving, but I never saw that as an option. I didn’t choose to be a single Dad, this life chose me & I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  68. Mel says:

    Wow. I really hope I feel like this in several years.

    My husband did propose to me, but about 3 weeks after that, I found out I was almost 2 months pregnant already. When we got engaged, we had discussed having a civil ceremony within a few months for the insurance and then having our lavish wedding in a few years (he’s Catholic, and really wanted a religious ceremony).

    What really happened? We had a civil ceremony a month later, in my backyard, I squeezed into a size 0 dress for the last time, and 6 months after that, our beautiful baby boy was born.

    My son is now 15 months old, and we’ve been married for 21 months. Sometimes when we’re constantly fighting about who has baby duty or where we’ll get the money to pay all the bills, I wonder if we’d actually have gone through with it or broken the engagement off.

    This post was so very inspiring. Thanks.

  69. *Bre* says:

    Aw, this gave me goosebumps!
    I don’t know you incredibly well but I admire and respect you…
    And I think kindly of your family as well.

  70. “When you find yourself pregnant, a mother, and a wife – in that order – you give up on some fantasies. You never have the surprise proposal on a weekend getaway, with the boyfriend whose name you’ve been writing with yours down on one knee. You give up the glass slipper dream, with Prince Charming pick you out of a crowd and knowing that you are the one.” LOVED THIS!

    I am soooo with you Britt. Been there. Done that. I was a little older than you in college in Rotc, but it had the same long lasting questions messing with my head. Add his old girlfriend still loitering around…ah the insecurities. 12 years, 8 months, 18 days later. I still question myself, question him, and regret never getting the bended knee proposal and the baby showers instead of bridal showers. What I don’t regret for a second was the outcome: my three gorgeous kids. Good for you for letting go.

  71. Reading over your comments, I have a little more to say. I know, I know. Scout is always so windy. Heh.

    Okay, so one more thing. I am very frank with my kids. They know pregnancy came before our marriage.

    I use it as a lesson especially for my soon to be 13 year old. I tell them yes, 12 years later, Daddy and I love each other and our marriage is strong, but it was no fairytale and we got lucky. WE WERE STUPID. WE GOT PREGNANT WITH The PILL, CONDOMS,AND THE RHYTHM METHOD. Seriously. Uber fertile. Third kid was born after vasectomy.

    So kids, if you plan to have sex, be prepared to be with that person FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. (Gulp) It’s no cake walk. It’s work when you start out rough.

    If that doesn’t work, I point out their Dad and I have never been to Hawaii or Europe. I still haven’t made it to law school which was the plan when I was 24. That was 13 years ago.

    I am glad it worked out for you and I and most of your commenters, but I doubt any of us would choose to start this way. I am hoping anyone young and impressionable reading this site doesn’t get any ideas of playing house. Go, enjoy your twenties, travel, go to college, then marry and have kids when you are ready. Like Britt said, in your thirties. Heh! I am sure it is much, much easier.

  72. [...] have handled a few incidents better. How about sharing some of my insecurities? Because unlike what Miss Britt might think, I am not “…immune to insecurities” at all. Far from [...]

  73. Beatriz says:

    I really enjoyed this post. I love these moments of epiphany when you realize you have more choice than you assumed! It’s a fantastic moment! You really relayed the story in an interesting and sensitive way. Really wonderful!

    By the way, I found you through Blogger’s Best Carnival.

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