I spend a lot of time staring at the computer screen, thinking about what I want to say. But once in a while I have to stop, sit back, and wonder, what do I want other people to say?
I want them to say that…
…I was sincere, and honest.
…they knew that I loved them, and they loved me.
…I laughed a lot, and that was a good thing.
…they will remember me.
…my intentions were good.
…even if sometimes I failed, I tried.
And that’s about it.
Of all the things I spend my life trying to say, there are only a handful of them that matter in a way that is bigger than the day.
What do you want them to say?
Hmm. What a deeply introspective post. I promise, I’m not going to kill us on the drive down to Miami!
I’d like people to say that I was a good friend and that I made them laugh.
@avitable, LOL, it’s not about wanting to DIE – but about remembering that a lot of the stuff I stress about is kind of bullshit anyway.
And you are a good friend.
Even when you drive me crazy, you are a good friend.
I want them to say that…
…I lived life to the fullest.
…I loved with everything I had.
…I gave all that I could.
…I was honest.
…I laughed more than I cried.
…I will be remembered.
…I shined brightly.
@perksofbeingme, living life to the fullest is a big one for me too.
This reminds me of one of those “what do you want people to say at your memorial service” kind of things, which creeps me a out a wee bit.
But anyway..I’d like the people who survive me or my words or whatever to say that I was a good friend, that I made them smile, that I was loyal, that I cared what happened in the world, that I was passionate about fighting justice and always tried to do the right thing, that I had your back, that you could count on me, that I loved my friends and family fiercely, and that I was honest and trustworthy.
God…I sound like a Girl Scout.
@Caffeinatrix, nah, not so much dying.
But it helps me to stay on track – to remember what matters to me and see if THAT is where I’m putting my energy.
I think I have to steal your “passionate about fighting INjustice” thing. I definitely want my kids, especially, to see that in me.
Oops…I mean passionate about fighting INjustice. Fighting justice…well, that would just be kind of assholey, right? I’m NOT assholey
….that I was a good person
….that I was a great mom and wife
….that I was a loyal friend
….that I loved and cared deeply
….that I made people laugh
….that I will be missed
@Mrs. Schmitty, worthy life goals, I think.
Such a timely post, Britt. (For me, anyway.)
I want them to say that despite my flaws and my mistakes, I was kind and thoughtful. I want them to say that I genuinely cared for the people in my life, and I tried always to be honest and fair.
@Lisa, and that you lived your seconds, right? (hugs)
That I was true. To myself and to those I love.
That my love was unconditional and that they never EVER doubted my love. Ever.
@Chrissi, you can’t go wrong with love and truth.
…That everything I’m working towards is worth it.
…that I was goofy and silly and fun.
@Sarah, I don’t think anyone but you will ever be able to say if it’s worth it, sweetie.
i want to be remember as
~~the life of the party
~~the cutest dimples around
~~the funniest, fucked upested complicated
real world true events
~~one who has survived. not always the easiest way, but the best way i knew with the information i had at hand
~~one who doesn’t look her age or act her age
~~one who smiles, even while tears are pouring down my face
and that is just a few~
char
@ccinmotion, those goals seem more difficult than mine to keep up with! LOL
that I was amazing.
That I could make people laugh no matter what, that I was always there for everyone, and that I never took anything too much for granted.
@Ashleigh, I think humor is important to a lot of us.
…that I was a good person.
…that I will be missed.
…that I mattered to them.
…that I will be remembered.
…that I was worthy.
@MariaV, you are worthy.
So, go ahead and check that one off your list.
This is going to sound dorky and throw back to the old days…. but…
….. I was an excellent cook.
….. I kept the house immaculate.
….. I was the bond that glued our family together.
Tre’ June Cleaver, huh?
@Blondefabulous, not at all. It’s merely a reflection of your values, which are obviously to provide for your family.
It’s good that you know what’s important to you!
Everything that I want them to say, if I write it, will sound like a eulogy. And I’m not dead… yet.
So, for now, I’d like them to say that I’m always right. Yeah. That’s it.
@Dawn, what’s the fun in always being right?
(and thanks. for remembering me.)
PS. I will always remember you.
Even in her darker moments she had was able to laugh and could see the beauty in the day.
@Selma, oh yes. You seeing the beauty. That is absolutely something I would say about you.
Hhmmm…very thought provoking post in many ways.
Makes me kinda stop and think what I think people will say about me, and what I want them to say about me… I suppose the difference in between is how you change you life.
@~jtm, exactly! That’s the point of the “exercise”, so to speak.
Sometimes I fantasize that I’ve died in an untimely manner, and that someone’s taken it upon themselves to interview people who’ve known me. I imagine I’ll be the protagonist of the potent and poignant parables documented on tape, all of them tales of bad-girl-gone-good. But I don’t know exactly what I’d want them to say; I only know what people will probably say.
@Mistress Mom, I suppose that’s a start.
Most days I just want them to say “Welcome”.
@Kimberly, here?
Always.
Britt, I think most times, they’re saying things that are much more positive than that. Like…
…damn, that girl is funny.
…and smart.
…and has killer taste.
…and an adorable family.
…and a pretty cool boss.
But I think I agree with Kimberly on mine. Mostly I just want Them to tell me I’m wanted.
@Sarah Morgan, awww, thanks. And the funny thing is, I actually thought about a few of those (funny, taste, etc.) but decided that the things I listed were more important to me. Isn’t that strange how that works?
And I think you and Kimberly described what all of us need.
… that I didn’t necessarily do what was moral, but I always did what was right
… that I was honest to a fault
… that I was pretty good until I started listening to the voices in my head
@SciFi Dad, those voices will get you every time.
I’d want them to say that I…
…did the best I could while I was stuck in this place.
…had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place.
…played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place.
…dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
Oh, wait. Check that. That was the high school stuff from “Dazed and Confused”. My bad.
@B.E. Earl, funny, because I was just thinking “that sounds like what they said about me when I graduated high school!”
But the girls thing threw me off.
I want them to say that:
I was one of the strongest women they ever met.
@Sandi, I used to want that, too.
I’m kind of giving up on being strong lately. LOL
…that i rarely took myself too seriously
…that i made people smile
…that i had some of the smelliest farts in the history of smelliest farts
…that i had a threesome with avitable and a ham sandwich
…and that i didn’t take things for granted
@dr. wigglebutt, I might be able to arrange one of those for you.
You know, for a fee.
I want them to say, “Damn, I should’ve moved to Sarasota so I could spend more time with her.”
@Allyson, OK, didn’t see THAT coming!
Mostly I want them to say that I was awesome. But secondary to that, I want them to recognize that even though I was sharp tongued, I loved – A Lot.
@Betsey, oh man, I hope my kids say that about me some day.
I want them to say…
…they’re sad to see me go.
…they will remember me.
…that I was fun.
…that I made a difference in their lives.
…that I was loved.
@Finn, I think I can already say every single one of those things about you!
You’re doing good, so far.
you are everything you said, plus you are a terrific friend, a great mom and incredibly pretty.
@hello haha narf, oh good! Really. It’s good to know that I’m living my values not just in my own head.
I mean, that’s kind of the point, right?
ONE WEEK AND TWO DAYS UNTIL YOU ARE HERE!
~~that I was a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend.
~~that I was kind.
@Little Miss Sunshine State, I can’t vouch for the mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend bit.
But I would definitely say you are kind, at least in my experiences with you.
that i was funny.
(no matter how fucking hard i try, i am NEVER funny)
@ali, WHAT?!?! Lady you are crazy. You are absolutely funny.
I’ll prove it. Let’s meet, have lunch and drinks, and I bet you we BOTH laugh our asses off.
p.s. i am liking this style of commenting better than the one where i had no clue what everyone else was saying. you have some great commenters and some great conversations get going over here. thanks for taking a step back towards the way it used to be.
I want people to say that I was a good mother. And that I knew how to make them laugh. And that they knew I loved them.
Just that I was loved and that, no matter how much or how often I fucked things up, they knew that they were loved by me.
I want them to say that I made a difference.
That amongst all the fuck-ups, I was forgiven and still loved in spite of it.
Hmmmm…
I want them to KNOW that I loved them, through my actions and words.
I’d want people to know and say I was always there for them – even if they didn’t deserve it. (And them for me!)
I’d want them to say I was loyal, kind and trustworthy.
That I have my priorities straight.
Basically, my list would be a lot like yours, only I have a few more things to accomplish. The ones I’ve mentioned, though, are the ones that count the most.
She was kind.
She was passionate.
She was compassionate.
She would do anything for someone in need.
She was funny.
She loved her family and friends with her whole heart.
This DID sound like eulogy! LOL
Let’s see… I want them to say that no matter how hard I tried, I was still a bitch. I was not the best wife, not the best mother, not the best friend but dammit if I didn’t give it my damnest!
… he was funny without resorting to obscenities
… he was thoughtful
… he was smart
… he was rich*
* this is what I’m working on now.
That they knew I loved them.
That I was a great friend, mom and wife
They knew I cared
I had more ups than downs
Great post!
… I remember him.
Oh I could go on but here are just a few
that I was passionate
that I was funny
that I was original
that I was sincere & very loving
that I was the best mom
It’s funny that you asked, because I just responded to a similar question over at Ten Thousand Questions.
I’m going for:
*true to myself
*true to my family
*the friend that one could count on to be there when it mattered most.
*compassionate
…that I was a good-hearted person
…that I was a true and loving friend
…that I was generous of spirit
…that I was sincere
…and that I was astoundingly beautiful (is that over the top????)
aww sweet Britt. that’s so wonderful.
That I..
.. loved
.. laughed
.. was compassionate
.. was friendly
.. had Faith
.. set an example of grace and light
.. will be missed
.. was loved
.. truly lived
and more.. but you’re making me melancholy
You’re all those things and more.
That I….
…loved my husband
…loved my kids
…was funny
…lived a fearless life
…stood up for what I believed in
…matched what I said with what I did
…was honest, but kind.
That I made them laugh.
I’m a long-time reader, but an infrequent commenter.
I’d like people to say…..
– that I made them laugh
– that I was kind-hearted
– that I always did what I said I’d do
– that they could depend on me
– that they will remember me
– that they loved me
Basically the same things…I mean I think that’s what everyone wants to hear them say.
I want them to say, “Crap, I should have sleep with him when I had the chance.”
That I raised two amazing children who have changed the world for the better and had a marriage that everyone envied. I think even if I fail miserably at everything else, those two things would make me feel like I’d lived a successful life.