I need a girlfriend.

Friday, January 9th, 2009

I notice it most when my polish is chipped off my toes.

And when I’m sitting at home flipping through HGTV reruns.

And when it’s a Tuesday night and the kids are in bed, Jared’s asleep on the couch, and I’m too restless to get lost in a book or a blog.

That’s when I notice the big gaping hole that’s still there.

The hole that cannot be filled with husbands, or kids, or Avitables. Or work or blogging or writing. Or working out more or watching TV less or signing your kids up for more activities.

It’s the hole that, much as we try, cannot be filled by family or friends that are miles away, no matter how many emails you send or IM chats you share. You cannot stuff it with weekend getaways or annual parties or long distance phone calls.

I know, because I’ve tried.

And while I’ve made new memories and discovered new sources of joy, the original hole remains, calling to me.

Especially when my polish is chipped.

I miss having girlfriends. Not that I don’t have female friends now – the technical definition of a girlfriend I suppose. But it’s more than just another woman to laugh with that I’m missing.

I miss the girlfriend that drops by your house unannounced on a Tuesday night. Sometimes she stays and bullshits with you for hours, and sometimes she just stops to say hi on her way home and, no, don’t worry about it, you’re busy, I’ll call you later.

And she will call, too. Usually.

Or maybe she won’t. Because things come up and she was getting dinner started and you know how that goes. And you do. But that’s OK because you’ll talk to her tomorrow or the next day anyway.

I miss the girlfriend that drags all of her kids over to your house and throws them in the backyard before you have a chance to say hello. And her husband sits with your husband by the grill while the two of you invent cocktail recipes in the kitchen. And you don’t even care that it’s Sunday, because people still have to eat on a school night.

I miss the girlfriend who calls your husband’s cell phone because you didn’t pick up at home and you never answer your damn cell phone when it rings and she needs you. Now. Her dog threw up in the living room and she’s stuck at work and you know her husband has an irrational response to puke. And she knows it’s ridiculous but dear God the man has put a bowl on top of the vomit and will you please go take care of that so my carpet isn’t stained before I get home?

And you do. And you don’t feel inappropriate at all calling her husband a pussy while you spray his floors down with Resolve.

I miss the friendship that is easy, even when it’s work. The one that is an integral part of your day and has long since passed the awkward, insecure stage of calling only to set lunch dates and dinner parties.

The one you don’t put makeup on for.

The one that’s seen you without a bra and after a good hard cry.

I miss the girlfriend that answers her phone on Saturday morning and admits that she’s not doing much. And, sure, she can run and get a pedicure with you that morning, because she needs one too and she just has to be back by lunch because they’ve got a family thing that afternoon and she’s behind on laundry. And so you spend an hour or two together and then you go back to your lives and your responsibilities. And, really, it’s no big deal.

Until it is.

Until you don’t have it anymore. And then, some days, it’s the biggest fucking deal in the world.

Like when your polish is chipped.

I need a pedicure.  And a girlfriend.

7 Daily Happiness Affirmations

Start your day with 30 seconds of positive intention, free when you join the In Pursuit of Happiness Newsletter.

  1. avitable says:

    I need you to have the other type of girlfriend. The type where you make out with her and do naughty, naughty things while I watch from a window.

  2. You’re totally making me tear up. I had that until about 6 months ago when my girlfriend met an asshole who convinced her to move across town with him.

    God, I miss her.

  3. Faiqa says:

    That’s it. I’m showing up at your house on Tuesday and you better not be busy. I need a girlfriend, too. A sassy white one. LOL.

  4. Ashleigh says:

    This made me tear up and miss my best friend.
    We live five hours apart and I have zero friends here, besides my mom and cousin, who are both always busy.

    I think we could all use a girlfriend.

  5. I left a comment on Avitable before you did the “friends” show. The best friend I wrote about has almost always lived halfway across the country from me.
    We haven’t lived anywhere near each other since 1984…except for about a year in the late 1990′s.
    We have to get on a plane to see each other. It’s hard not to have her close by to do “Girlfriend” stuff, but I swear I’d take a bullet for her. Kind of like your best friend in Iowa.

  6. Peggy says:

    Me too!

  7. pocket queen says:

    we know.. us girls, I mean. I think we all know.. And, I also hate chipped nail polish!!

  8. Mary says:

    Wow, you’ve hit a nerve. I used to have a “Tuesday night” girlfriend who lived 2 doors away. You’ve brought back some good memories. Thank You.

  9. Mr Lady says:

    Um, yeah.

    (slowly raises hand from the desk waaaaayyy in the back of the room)

  10. Angel says:

    This post is a total tribute to girlfriend-hood. <3

    I am so blessed to have a girlfriend like that. The kind I can call my favorite bitch without worrying about offending her. The friend who, when she talks about needing to find a job, I can suggest she start escorting without her thinking I am actually serious. She uses at least half of my printer ink because hers is always on the fritz, but I don’t care because it is an excuse for us to put our busy lives aside and just bullshit for ten minutes.

    I’m gonna go slap her butt tomorrow in appreciation. *grin*

  11. Selma says:

    I know what you mean. One of my best friends lives in the UK and I really miss her. Every now and then it hits me. The tyranny of distance, eh?

  12. Ashlea says:

    This made me cry. I have recently moved to another country, and after 4 months of feeling fine… homesickness has hit.

    Its not the country, or even my family i miss. Its everything you said above. I miss my friends!

    I hope you find someone soon :)

  13. MariaV says:

    I have the same gaping hole. It hurts so much sometimes.

    P.S. Love, LOVE, how you’ve written this piece.

  14. fuck, you make me want to move to florida and stop by for no reason.

    p.s. don’t kill me, but a while ago i promised avitable that he could get a pedicure with us on the 22nd when i get there.

  15. Vic says:

    You’re making me cry too! I can’t believe so many of us feel that way – I thought it was just me.

  16. Sodapop says:

    What a beautifully written post. You made me tear up and smile with fond memories of my best friend back in Vegas. How easy it was for the two of us to see each other and be there for each other. 1700 miles away makes this almost impossible. I really miss her.

    • Miss Britt says:

      You always get this stuff. Kindred transplants and all that.

      • Sodapop says:

        I think kindred spirit transplants is a good way of describing it. It’s a “connection” not many people admit too or are willing to call out.

        I talked to her today. I linked the post in the email and she cried too.

  17. Kimberly says:

    If we lived close enough, we’d be like that. People would also mistake us for sisters because we look enough alike. We just need to work on the geography, Britt.

    Great post. I agree. Girlfriends like that are very important. PS- those are your daughter’s feet, right?

    • Miss Britt says:

      And people would assume you were the younger one because you’re in better shape than me and I’d mutter under my breath “whore”. And you’d know I was kidding. Kind of.

      XO

    • BUBACARR JALLOW says:

      @Kimberly, hi i hope you will see my massage if you see it please urgenly reply,i am really instreating you to be my close girlfriend. i am a black man basing in sweden,i am 29 years old. 2 miters high,i saw your picture is looking pritte.

  18. ~jtm says:

    I miss that too, but mostly because it’s been since high school since I’ve had that type of girlfriend… back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, in case you were wondering :o)

  19. The Bug says:

    My best girl friend is my sister and she lives in Georgia while I’m alllllllll the way up here in Maryland. We talk almost daily via Instant Messenger and phone calls, but inevitably, once a month or so, one of us has chipped polish, or a bad day at work and needs a dinner companion, and that distance just SUCKS.

    • Miss Britt says:

      My best friend back home isn’t “big on the computer stuff” so we don’t IM. But we do talk on the phone quite a bit.

      Maybe the answer is for someone to get rich and have access to a jet. You know, for dinner.

  20. Lin says:

    I would have a totally sweet reply except I got lost when I saw how tiny your feet were. Are those your feet or your little girls?!! Wow, you’re tiny..lol But I understand, you DO need girlfriends, poor thing. I understand, I was just thinking this yesterday — not how you need them. How much I miss having my girlfriends from back home. Someone to just hang out with and do nothing. Now about your feet….

    • Miss Britt says:

      LOL – those are my feet.

      My brothers were arguing about this last night – one knew they were mine, another was sure I had stolen a picture of midget feet.

  21. I miss having that too. I so wish you could live near me!

    (and happy pre-birthday. Not a real holiday, but it should be. You should really get to celebrate from about two weeks before your birthday until the actual day, don’t you think? Oh AND I am taking my kids and some of their friends to an indoor water park for your birthday. Because it is also my daughter’s birthday not because I am a crazy stalker)

  22. Dawn says:

    I miss that too. Very much. Very fucking much. :(

    I didn’t realize how it would affect me when I moved. It affects me. A lot. A fucking lot.

  23. I have mixed feelings about your post…. I have been painfully in your shoes… Luckily now, I have a friend that lives just a few blocks from me, and we do just drop everything to play wii, walk, go shopping, out to lunch or possibly even just talk….. And for that I am so very grateful… Thanks for the tears and the smiles this morning (and the reminder of some of the most important things in life… friendship)!!!

    • Miss Britt says:

      It’s good that you know you are lucky. I can honestly say that even before I moved, I knew I was lucky.

      I just had noooo idea how rare it was to have that.

  24. SciFi Dad says:

    Great post. It had me tearing up.

    No, wait…. thinking about the kind of girlfriend Avitable described teared me up. Nevermind.

    • Miss Britt says:

      So, what you’re saying is, I shouldn’t expect a lot of men to “get” this one, eh?

      • Frederick says:

        @Miss Britt, Don’t let the opinion of a few a-holes make you generalize about most males. There’s plenty of us out here who are sensitive to what you’re saying. But we’re all ugly-looking and name “Fred.”

  25. Mindee says:

    Why is that so hard to find as we get older? The last time I made a girlfriend like that I was in college. Luckily we’ve grown together but I don’t know if I could find it again. Is it that we had so much time then to devote to a friendship and now we don’t? Is it that it’s too messy to try to find someone who meshes with our husband AND our kids and so we avoid the effort?

    Or do we just get less brave?

    • Miss Britt says:

      I don’t know. Do you know I haven’t even MET my neighbors here? None of them. I don’t know their names or anything.

      Grown ups are WEIRD.

      • Mindee says:

        Go. Meet your neighbors. Make up a reason. Probably you won’t have much in common, but MAYBE you have a neighbor who is sitting on her couch picking her toenails too. It could happen.

        • Miss Britt says:

          Make up a reason?

          Should I just go door to door pretending to need sugar? Or rather, Splenda?

          • Mindee says:

            Yes. It sounds stupid but people like to be needed. While you’re there you could say something like, “We just moved here and I need the name of a good pediatrician/veterinarian/nail salon. Do you have one?” If you feel like you could hit it off, you ask if she ever goes walking and you take a walk. That way you can have a conversation without having to look at each other. It’s more comfortable. Oh! Or you could go to Target together. Who doesn’t love Target? I recently made a new friend that way (I’ve only lived here 9 years. It was time). Target promotes bonding.

          • Miss Britt says:

            I might have to add that to the resolution list this year.

  26. If you find this be-atch, can you strap a pair of bollocks to her and give it my address.

    Actually, balls are not essential.

  27. whall says:

    Everyone needs a crutch at some point. Religion. Alcohol. Girlfriends. Blogging.

    Maybe you’ve lasted this long without a girlfriend because you have 350 mini-girlfriends on the interwebz. It’s just that only a lucky few of us have seen you bra-less.

    But now I’m one of the lucky few who have seen you sock-less.

  28. AJ says:

    I joined a sorority in college, and all those things you described were my life for 4 years, and now we all have families and kids and jobs, but thank God, at least we all have blogs. We all still know what’s going on with eachother even if we can’t get together as often as we like. But yes, there are days I miss my friends and want to hang out with them and drink wine, and laugh about all the stupid things we did in college, (with our husbands out of earshot, God help us) and just talk about girl stuff.

  29. Chris says:

    I’m with you on this. I recently moved from the Northeast to northern Florida and I know no-one. The lack of girlfriends is just about as painful as being far from my family, as bad as that may sound.

    Like someone said above, getting out is key but I just haven’t found the time/energy/motivation/etc. to do it.

    • Miss Britt says:

      I don’t think that sounds bad at all. I’m with you exactly. I miss my family back home – but I EXPECTED that. I knew I wasn’t going to be replacing my mom and my brothers, etc.

      I was really unprepared for how much we’ve all missed our friends.

  30. Melizzard says:

    Oh Britt. I know exactly what you mean. After years of moving around we finally settled in once place and I have those friends again. More than one and it is one of the most treasured things in the world to me. Thanks for reminding me not to take them for granted.

  31. NYCWD says:

    Are those really your feet? Damn… you have really small feet. Do you buy your shoes in the kid’s department?

    Yeah. I’ve never had a friendship like that… so the feet comment is about as much as I can muster today. Sorry.

    *HUGS*

  32. Shelli says:

    I have that kind of and, sometimes, she annoys the shit out of me. But that’s part of it, too, and I love her because of it.

  33. Michelle says:

    I’ve gotta say, I stumble upon blogs and most of the time its just too deep, too long and just not relate able. I read this the entire way through….and voila! the chocolate cupcake to my best friend blues. I’ve had the same problem for quite some time…I get it. But when there’s no one to gab to, throw on a sassy diva song, break out that “only bad girls wear red” nail polish, have yourself an afternoon drink…you’ll be better before you know it. :)

    • Miss Britt says:

      I’m trying to think if I’ve ever had a drink at home…

      I don’t think I have! That seems like something people should do before they die.

      (And thanks for reading all the way through!)

  34. ali says:

    you and me both, love :)

  35. Wow dude you’re speaking my heart this week – every time I stop by you’re saying something that seems to be brewing in my soul. This girlfriend thing has me feeling all kinds of ways….too much to ramble on about here. But that post is so right on and you know what? I want that too. And I realize it doesn’t happen overnight and I’m wondering if I’ll ever really have that kind of friend here with me and now and I guess I’ll start the search…. ;-)

    • Miss Britt says:

      It’s really nice sometimes to know that the feelings and thoughts you have that sound weird when you say them out loud are more universal than you imagined.

  36. Ms. Karen says:

    Post=excellent.

    I’m very lucky. My best friend and I have been together for 40 years. We’ve survived idiot husbands, irrational relatives of varying degrees, and each other.

    And we’re just getting started.

  37. Brian says:

    My girlfriends never see me without a bra. Never.

  38. Kristin says:

    I have felt this way for quite sometime. I am hoping that the new year; new me will change that!

  39. willdacanucker says:

    THANK YOU! You know what? Lately I have been thinking this EXACT same way and I was trying to express to my wife what was wrong,but could not, and you have nailed it directly on the head and in a way I can easily relate what I was trying to say to my wife. Even though I am a guy ( so I would have to replace ‘girlfriend’ with a guy friend. Cut’s down on potential troubles. I am sure the wife would be none to pleased if I told her I wanted a girlfriend:-)) I feel the exact same way as you. I am a SAHD now and lost all my ‘guy’ friends when I moved to Canada, so I know exactly the point you are trying to get across. This truly made not only my day but my past few weeks. (stumble upon is awesome)

    • Miss Britt says:

      I think my husband goes through that a little too.

      He had a best friend back home (whom I called his boyfriend) and they were inseparable. They shoveled each other’s driveways, picked each other up on the side of the road, rolled their eyes at each other’s wives, shot fireworks in each other’s garages… I guess that’s the boy version of pedicures or something.

      I don’t think he could ever verbalize it the way I do – but I know he misses his friend a lot.

  40. Sybil Law says:

    I know exactly what you mean. But YOU have Faiqa nearby! So except for drinking too much together (right now, anyway), you’ve got one of those super close!
    And your feet are small – but cute. :)

    • Miss Britt says:

      I do have Faiqa near by – which is cool. I also have my friend Deanna near by, which I’m grateful for.

      But, for example, Faiqa is from here. She has a life already – that girlfriend, family, etc. – you know?

      That probably sounds really dumb. LOL

  41. Donna says:

    Oh wow. This is so true! Since I’ve moved here, I’m feeling the same way. I miss my girls like mad.

  42. twinkie says:

    GREAT POST!!!! I’m going to share it with MY girlfriends.

  43. Stephanie says:

    Aw, Britters, that makes me so sad for you. I understand EXACTLY what you are saying, I would be totally lost with out my bestie. She has seen me at my best, at my worst, with or without makeup, we went through the 80′s fashion era for shits sake. Braless, shoeless, clotheless, man-less, brainless, confused, happy, sad, distraught, suicidal, empty, etc. And she is still here. And with one phone call, one dinner/drinks, it is all okay. Everything is right in the world, because she would BURY THE BODIES FOR ME, you know? I wish that for you, Tiny Feet.

  44. Stephanie says:

    Oh, and I TOTALLY need a pedicure. So I am unpainted and chipped with you, albeit from miles and miles away. :)

    Olives.

  45. KiKi says:

    Wow — this is great on so many levels!!

    You have a new fan….I look forward to readng more!

  46. Rachel says:

    I get this. I soo get this.
    We’ve been ‘here’ for 3 yrs and it took almost 1 yr to find friends and nearly 2 to transition to girlfriends. I get this.

    {hugs}

    • Miss Britt says:

      Well I haven’t hit 2 years yet – so that totally gives me hope. Especially since I have made quite a few friends with definite girlfriend potential. :-)

  47. I’ve been basically working on a post that says this exact thing. My husband can’t fill this roll, all my blogger friends living in my laptop can’t fill this roll, it’s gotta be a GIRL, right here.

    Great post.

    • Miss Britt says:

      I’m glad to hear someone else say that. I feel guilty feeling like that sometimes, like it means I don’t appreciate all the wonderful friends, my husband, etc. And I do! It’s just different!

  48. Kori says:

    I don’t even know what you are talkign about, and apparently I have really been missing something here….

  49. Emmy says:

    Hi Britt,

    Long-time reader, first time commenter here…this post actually moved me to tears and then to post a comment for the very first time! I feel the same way and could not have expressed those feelings more eloquently. Almost 2 years ago I moved 1,500 miles away from everything and everyone i knew to be with my boyfriend (now fiance) and have yet to fill the “girlfriend gap” here. I know its partially my fault for not putting myself out there enough with the women that i have met since moving here…but sometimes it just feels like SO MUCH WORK…i don’t want to have to go through all the introductory bullshit, you know? It feels like dating almost. The girlfriends I miss and left behind I’ve known for YEARS…i know everything about them and they know everything about me. i don’t want it to take that long to build that kind of a relationship with someone here…I want to be able to just add water (or vodka) and viola!…instant BFF. sigh.

    • Miss Britt says:

      Thank you so much for delurking!

      What a great analogy. And I’ve often said I’d be screwed if I had to start dating again at this point in my life!

  50. Maman says:

    I understand completely… my girlfriends have all moved away… and I am bit odd and girlfriends that get me don’t grow on trees.

  51. Rachel says:

    I could have COMPLETELY written this post. Seriously. I had that friend, the one you swear you can’t live without. Our husbands were bestfriends and so were our kids…Now, we don’t talk and never will again because what she did and tried to do to my relationship can NEVER be forgiven or forgotten. But this is the TYPE of girlfriend I NEED. I can’t be okay with everyday casual relationship with women that I have now…I NEED a GOOD GIRLFRIEND…Heres to hoping we both get what we NEED and soon…HUGS!

    • Miss Britt says:

      I can’t even imagine dealing with that level of betrayal from a friend like that.

      Honestly though? It’s impressive you can still acknowledge that there was good in the relationship that you mourn.

  52. Mistress Mom says:

    I stumbled onto your site from Avitable’s, and I gotta say: YOU’RE FUCKING AWESOME. Thank you for that post. It was touching and thoughtful and made me realize that I’ve never had a girlfriend quite like the one you’ve described.

  53. I hope I am not repeating anyone because I don’t have time to read all of these comments but….

    if it makes you feel better I have no one to paint my nails either unless I pay the woman at the salon or bribe my husband.

    Despite the pedicure you are in need of – you have really freakin’ cute feet :)

  54. Finn says:

    Me too, sweetie. Me too.

  55. Summer says:

    I’ve never had anything like that, but it sounds wonderful.

  56. Christina says:

    I love this post! My 2 best friends live out of state and I haven’t ever found friends like that here. I’ve met lots of other moms but not anybody I’ve clicked with :(

  57. Melissa says:

    My polish is chipped too. I am now heartsick for my bff. :o(

  58. ginamonster says:

    You make me feel even more grateful for my wife. She’s all of those things and I KNOW I am blessed to have a friend like her since I’m 500 miles from my people. She listens to me chatter about boys. She calls me when she needs me, and it’s good to feel needed. We quote 80′s movies and the Muppets together…I wish for you a friend like her…

  59. Seriously? This is one of the best posts ever.

    True girfriends are such a gift.

  60. Linea says:

    God i miss having a girlfriend too… good girlfriends are hard to come by

  61. Krystal says:

    You made me cry. I feel the same way. I moved away from all I ever knew when I met my husband and now I am a mom, and in school. I miss my girlfriends….Thanks for bringing back some good memories.

  62. EclecticWAHM says:

    Just found you on Stumbleupon. Oh man…you just made me miss my girlfriends soooo much. When I was a full time SAHM I had a lot more time for my girlfriends than I do now. It’s a huge gap in my life and you’re right – nothing can take their place. How the heck do you make time when there’s kids, work, school etc? Well, that and most of my close girlfriends live hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

    Sigh. I think I’ll go have a good cry now.

  63. jina says:

    Not that my comment matters in this sea of comments..but me too feel the same way!!!…:(
    and btw i love ur blog

    • Miss Britt says:

      I get each comment in it’s very own email, so it’s not really a sea on this end. :-)

      Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to say “me too!”

  64. Charleen says:

    This is really great. I really miss Reanna now, and resent the military and sometimes, my marriage and kids… sometimes. But I am soooooo glad someone else feels this way. Thanks for writing this, Ima pass it on through Stumble to everyone.

  65. Oh thanks, Britt.

    I realized the other day that it’s been *just* about a year since Jennifer moved away and I thought I was doing pretty well, dealing with the loss of a girlfriend.

    And then I read this.

    Now I’m off to cry and be depressed. With my bra off.

  66. [...] Britt has probably one of the best posts ever written right here.  GO THERE AND [...]

  67. Laura says:

    Great post! Loved it. Oh, so true.

  68. Kim says:

    Oh I SO hear you! I need a girlfriend too. I miss having someone to just come and hang out with me that doesn’t expect sex or food when we’re done hanging out ;)

  69. Lisa says:

    First time visitor- I love this post.

    Girlfriends are so hard to come by, true girlfriends. Not the “friends” that are really more like acquaintances. I moved here 3 years ago and thankfully, I have developed two girlfriends here fit the bill. One lives next door (how did I get so lucky?) and the other is only 10 minutes away and has two children that are the same ages and genders as 2 of my 3, PLUS our husbands get along too- SCORE!

    I will definitely be back for a visit.

  70. Antonette says:

    I’m lucky to have a handful of girlfriends like this. (not bragging, mind you, but counting my blessings every day)

    I’ve got one who even lets me call her when I’m on my two hour commute home from work just so I don’t get bored (even though I’m no in her Verizon network).

    I’m the one who shows up and sends the kids out to the yard and deals with the ones who come crying up to the sliding door with, “Are you bleeding? No! Then go back and play.” while the rest drink wine.

    Somehow, these friendships are more fulfilling than most I had in high school.

  71. Aimee says:

    haha! I was just going around the house feeling sorry for myself today because I miss having a best friend. It’s just not the same without “that friend.” I have several friends…who are all too busy it seems, or have other best friends. :( I’m having a major pity party today. This was just the thing I needed. I’m glad I’m not alone.

    Thanks for letting me whine…..

  72. Shelli Akers says:

    A-fricking-MEN!!! There’s no comparison, we need our girls! It’s hard to have run around buddies when you live 30 miles from town, I used to live in Los Angeles…geeze louise!

  73. Sarcastica says:

    I really miss that too :( my best girlfriend lives 3 hours away, and although we chat on the phone like every day, it’s not the same as when she was here. Although, when she comes home for visits it’s exactly the same…this post just made me miss my Kiwi :(

    Hugs to you, I’d remove your nail polish if you moved next door :) its for sale ;)

  74. Oh, I ache after this post. Because even though I have girlfriends? None of mine are like this. I think I’m missing something important.

    • Miss Britt says:

      @Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, you’re probably more private and reserved than I am though. You might not LIKE having a girlfriend who just shows up at your house at all hours of the day or night.

  75. Rachael says:

    This post makes me want to fly to where you are and move in next door. I moved away from my girlfriend, only an hour, but I still miss her. I have an excellent husband who works it out for me to see her at least every couple weeks.

  76. Kirsten says:

    Found you via Beth and folding laundry. I think I might be on the verge of having that. I miss that girlfriend tremendously, and I’m hopeful for the future!

  77. Christy M. says:

    I’m so glad Beth told me to come over here!!

    I have a couple of those friends. And I love them dearly. But the problem is, they live too far away. Not because any of us moved away from each other, but because that’s just how life worked out. My BFF, lives 3 hours away, but when we’re together, we’re like an old married couple. We cook together and clean together and we even yell at each other’s kids! It’s beautiful, but it just doesn’t happen enough!

    Beth is also one of those friends. But she’s in Indiana and I’m in Texas, so we just get virtual pedicures and talk on the phone and email alot.

    I hope you find that friendship again. If I lived closer to you, I’d be your friend!

  78. PunditMom says:

    Is it OK for us to be girlfriends like that? I know a lot of women — moms from PunditGirl’s school, former colleagues — and no one ever just drops by or drags me out when I need it. And, to be honest, I feel like most women I know don’t want that either. When I get the feeling that I should just drop by for a minute because I’m driving by their house, I never do because I sense that’s not acceptable. But as long as you don’t mind if my house is a mess or the dishes are piled in the sink, I would love for friends to just come by … how exciting and refreshing that would be!

  79. [...] with college and work and life. I don’t feel like I’m close with anybody, and it sucks. Miss Britt said it best. I spend basically every day here in this house doing nothing but wishing I was doing something, [...]

  80. Karly says:

    I need a friend like that too. Now I feel all sad and lonely. Damn it.

  81. becky says:

    My best friend of 17 years and I just ended our friendship a few months ago. This post really makes me miss her and the connection we once shared. I’m grateful for my friends, but I miss the “always right there” girlfriend.

  82. Elaine says:

    Why are these so hard to find? I want one (or three!) too.

  83. Debbie says:

    Aww great post !! Your so making me think of my bff Shawna .

  84. Allyson says:

    Me too. If you figure out how to find one of those while not working in an office, or living where you grew up, let me know. So far, I’m out at the parks hoping desperately that the woman with the well behaved children also needs a girlfriend. I had a play date today, so we’ll see how it works.

  85. Lori says:

    I wish I had a girlfriend to do all that fun stuff with. My sister has a few friends to go out for drinks with, get pedicures, and just have “girl talk” with. I am so jealous! I had a best friend in high school and as soon as I started moved in with my now husband, we stopped talking and hanging out. That was over 15 years ago. I’ve had some other good friendships but it is not the same. I feel lonely :(

  86. Erin says:

    I forgot about you cleaning up the throw up in my house when I was gone and yes Jr. is a pussy about it sometimes!! By the way I miss you too everyday!!

  87. Well thanks. Now I’m depressed. I was thinking about this very thing Saturday as I bought 2 pairs of incredible James Jeans at 60% off (fucking 60% OFF!). I was excited out of my gourd and no one to share that with.

    *sob*

  88. Bacardi Mama says:

    This post touched my heart. Although I have many girlfriends, I don’t have this one special friend. I’m so glad Beth sent me over here. I’ll be back.

  89. Megan Gray says:

    I completely agree! I had one of those friends and then once I became pregnant with my second baby she just didn’t call me back. We are both in different places in our lives now but I still miss her greatly. Hopefully someone will come around again. Great Post! Thanks!

  90. Ashes says:

    Two months ago my best girl passed away. Shes the only person I ever had a friendship like this with and I miss the hell out of her. Thank you. It was like I was reading about she and I. They’re happy tears today.

  91. TRACI says:

    I’m sorry? Did you just sit through a Lifetime Movie marathon? Those things don’t exist!

    Except every 12 years and only in the suburbs.

  92. Bella Casa says:

    I thought I was the only one out there w/o a girlfriend! Oh, I have friends and friends that used to be girlfriends, but we’ve all moved away or on or both. And now, here I sit alone. I don’t even have chipped nailpolish because no one sees my toes anyways…

    So, I know exactly how you feel and I wish I lived next door to you because I would come over, right now, with booze!

    Bella

  93. the mrs. says:

    what a perfect post! My husband is military so people are always coming and going and right now I’m missing a girl friend.

  94. hamme says:

    i need very very beautifal blondy girlfriend no more than 20 old and she like travel and play sport and shopping .
    i am very strong boy smart very very kindly fun e
    this my email ho girl like contact me F40GTR@HOTMAIL.COM
    with maney kissesssssssssssssssssssssssss

  95. nadeem says:

    i need a loving bride.should be innosent,liberal,educated,loving.waiting 03347117885

« « Just In Time | Not because you give a shit about my resolutions but because I went to a seminar once and they taught me about Account-ability » »