As I was cleaning off my computer and moving massive amounts of crap over to my brand spanking new external hard drive, I realized that I have a ridiculous amount of music stored on my lap top. Specifically, I have an embarrassingly large collection of shit music. (Seriously – does anyone really need 8 MB of anything from Black Oak Arkansas?? And while we’re on the subject – who in the hell is Black Oak Arkansas?!?!)
In addition to mounds of steaming poo, I also have The Perfect Song for just about any occasion. Including and especially such occasion as would warrant the removal of pants. I’m pretty much an expert in Songs That Make You Wanna Do It.
And I never use the term Do It. I promise.
But if I were to use the term Do It, then I would say with absolute authority that some songs were made specifically for the purpose of encouraging people to do just that. It, I mean. Songs that were made to make you Do It. Heh heh. (OK, really. Hand to God, I’m done now.)
SONGS THAT MAKE YOU SEXIEST SONGS ACCORDING TO MISS BRITT*
*who is awesome and all knowing**
** about these kinds of things
9. I’ll Make Love To You – Boys II Men
Hey, don’t snicker. I remember a time when Boys II Men was the hottest think since pink slap bracelets. And even if my accessories have since grown up, this song is still blatantly sexy.
8. Bed Of Roses – Bon Jovi
I think what gets me about this song is Jon’s willingness to sleep “on a bed of nails” – while I’m laid out like a princess on a bed of roses. That probably says something about me.
7. At Last – Etta James
This is the song I listen to in the dark. In the bathtub. With bubbles. And I imagine I am a big, black curvy woman on a stage with an amazingly sexy voice that can stretch two syllables into a lifetime of romantic angst.
6. Untitled (How Does It Feel – D’Angelo
The man does the video naked and tattooed. And does this weird-and-yet-hot biting thing with his lip. The song isn’t bad either.
5. When A Man Loves A Woman – Percy Sledge
I first heard this song done by Michael Bolton, but Percy Sledge’s version is much more sincere and primal and, therefore, sexier.
4. U Make Me Wanna – Usher
I should just list “Anything from Usher”, because Good Lord that boy is sensual. This particular song was actually considered one of “our songs” between my husband and I when we were teenagers. Because yes, we are that corny.
3. Closer – Nine Inch Nails
I think I was 25 before I found out this song was not titled “I wanna f$%* you like an animal”. I still contend that it should be.
2. Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye
This song would be a hundred times sexier if I didn’t remember my parents shimmying around the living room to it when I was a kid. And yet, somehow, that’s part of the appeal.
1. Satisfied – Prince
I heard this song from Prince’s 3121 album for the first time when I saw Prince in Vegas in March of 2007. It was in that moment that I understood why young female groupies throw their panties on stages.
You can here it by going here and clicking “Satisfied” from the list. But you should really be alone when you do. For the sake of decency.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a melody to put on repeat…