9 Songs That Make Me Weak In The Knees

Monday, November 10th, 2008

As I was cleaning off my computer and moving massive amounts of crap over to my brand spanking new external hard drive, I realized that I have a ridiculous amount of music stored on my lap top. Specifically, I have an embarrassingly large collection of shit music. (Seriously – does anyone really need 8 MB of anything from Black Oak Arkansas?? And while we’re on the subject – who in the hell is Black Oak Arkansas?!?!)

In addition to mounds of steaming poo, I also have The Perfect Song for just about any occasion. Including and especially such occasion as would warrant the removal of pants. I’m pretty much an expert in Songs That Make You Wanna Do It.

And I never use the term Do It. I promise.

But if I were to use the term Do It, then I would say with absolute authority that some songs were made specifically for the purpose of encouraging people to do just that. It, I mean. Songs that were made to make you Do It. Heh heh. (OK, really. Hand to God, I’m done now.)

TOP 9 SONGS THAT MAKE YOU SEXIEST SONGS ACCORDING TO MISS BRITT*

*who is awesome and all knowing**
** about these kinds of things

9. I’ll Make Love To You – Boys II Men

Hey, don’t snicker. I remember a time when Boys II Men was the hottest think since pink slap bracelets. And even if my accessories have since grown up, this song is still blatantly sexy.

8. Bed Of Roses – Bon Jovi

I think what gets me about this song is Jon’s willingness to sleep “on a bed of nails” – while I’m laid out like a princess on a bed of roses. That probably says something about me.

7. At Last – Etta James

This is the song I listen to in the dark. In the bathtub. With bubbles. And I imagine I am a big, black curvy woman on a stage with an amazingly sexy voice that can stretch two syllables into a lifetime of romantic angst.

6. Untitled (How Does It Feel – D’Angelo

The man does the video naked and tattooed. And does this weird-and-yet-hot biting thing with his lip. The song isn’t bad either.

5. When A Man Loves A Woman – Percy Sledge

I first heard this song done by Michael Bolton, but Percy Sledge’s version is much more sincere and primal and, therefore, sexier.

4. U Make Me Wanna – Usher

I should just list “Anything from Usher”, because Good Lord that boy is sensual. This particular song was actually considered one of “our songs” between my husband and I when we were teenagers. Because yes, we are that corny.

3. Closer – Nine Inch Nails

I think I was 25 before I found out this song was not titled “I wanna f$%* you like an animal”. I still contend that it should be.

2. Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye

This song would be a hundred times sexier if I didn’t remember my parents shimmying around the living room to it when I was a kid. And yet, somehow, that’s part of the appeal.

1. Satisfied – Prince

I heard this song from Prince’s 3121 album for the first time when I saw Prince in Vegas in March of 2007. It was in that moment that I understood why young female groupies throw their panties on stages.

You can here it by going here and clicking “Satisfied” from the list. But you should really be alone when you do. For the sake of decency.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a melody to put on repeat…

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  1. avitable says:

    You think “Closer”, a song about degradation, masochism, and sadism, combined with acts of severe cruelty, is sexy?

    I don’t think that word means what you think it does.
    :)

  2. kapgar says:

    “At Last” was the song we played for our first dance on our wedding night. Great choice.

  3. avitable says:

    I was also going to come up with my own list of songs that turn me on, but I couldn’t think of a single one. I have songs that evoke emotions in me, but none of them make me randy. Yes, I said randy. Suck my nut.

  4. Stephanie says:

    The important thing is, who is this Randy that Adam is into?

    I totally agree with “At Last” and “Let’s Get It On”.

    I have to add to this, and you will all probably laugh at me, but the song “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins REALLY does it for me.
    Let me set the stage…this song, playing in the background, a dark bedroom, the middle of a hot summer night, the cool evening air blowing the sheer curtains away from the windows….staring out at the night lying next to your man (or woman, or whatever blows your skirt up) and then….WHEW.

    G’nite.

    Okay

  5. Maria says:

    I watched that D’Angelo video so many times that I realized I was doing all the movements with him. I had subconsciously learned it by heart. That is a hot video.

    I hear he’s coming back soon…

  6. Patrick D. says:

    I can agree with most of this list, but ‘Bed of Roses’ has this corny line that loses it: ‘I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is.’ Really? Nothing kills the romance like religion…

    I would add in its place ‘Your Body Is A Wonderland’. I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I’d rather punch myself in the face. Seriously, I’d add in ‘I Touch Myself’ by the Divinyls.

  7. Amanda says:

    You have two of my sexy songs! Bed of Roses and Closer. Yes, they’re basically opposite in sentiment, but are really, really sexy

  8. Sybil Law says:

    See – I think of Led Zeppelin, too. Specifically, Physical Graffiti. And I am serious – not just quoting from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”!
    Otherwise, your list is great! I’m gonna have to think on some others…

  9. B.E. Earl says:

    At Last is one dead sexy song. Right on!

  10. Ginger says:

    Oh my…that D’Angelo video is freakin’ HOT. Rowr!

    I agree with Sybil Law…Led Zeppelin gets me worked up in unspeakable ways.

  11. Sarah says:

    I love the song At Last. Love it.

    I think I am going to go listen to it right now. Have fun with the rest of your list.

  12. Sleepynita says:

    I actually have to second Stephanie’s suggestion for “in the air tonight” – something about that song is pretty hot in the right setting.

    Also I have to back you up on Closer – it just makes you want to go have some hot monkey sex…..

  13. EvilStepsisterHannah says:

    Okay…so I wasn’t gonna comment…
    but I TOTALLY agree… if that’s not too weird or anything.

    OH and we have the same external hard drive! Isn’t it flashy! haha

  14. SwanShadow says:

    This post would have been much sexier overall if you hadn’t used the phrase, “Michael Bolton.” That’s the verbal equivalent of an ice-cold shower.

  15. Lisa says:

    The Rolling Stones fanatic in me MUST add “Beast of Burden” to the list. Well at least it’s tops on my list.

  16. Miss Britt says:

    avitable: I think you wayyyyy overthink sex. Holy cow.

    kapgar: awwwwww

    avitable:try Hannah Montana. That might do it for you.

    Stephanie: you know, I can kind of see it. I have an old Rod Stewart song from that same era that’s like that for me.

    Maria: now I’m imagining you watching the video and mirroring him. LOL

    Patrick D.: ah see, to me it makes me think of being THAT close to someone – all wrapped up like a spirit that – well. Ahem. Anyway. That’s just me.

    Amanda: exactly – two different kinds of sexy.

    Sybil Law: I’ve heard a lot of other people say that too! I’m not familiar enough with Zepplin to really have an opinion.

    B.E. Earl: dead sexy makes me think of Austin Powers. LOL

    Ginger: I know! It’s craziness!

    Sarah: tell Etta I said, hello.

    Sleepynita: EXACTLY!

    EvilStepsisterHannah: it’s only weird if your mom agrees with you.

    SwanShadow: hahahhahaha, poor Michael!

    Lisa: this does not surprise me. At all. ;-)

  17. Al Green- Let’s Stay Together.

    Best. Song. Evah.

  18. Dawn says:

    At Last was the first song that Jeremy and I danced to at our wedding; ’twas our wedding song, and we still sing it to each other on occasion.

    Oh! As a matter of fact, last Valentine’s Day, he got me a musical card, and that was the song playing when I opened it.

    Yeah, special song.

  19. SciFi Dad says:

    Miles Davis – ‘Round Midnight
    David Usher (the GOOD Usher) – Forestfire

  20. Turnbaby says:

    At Last –MMMMMMMMM–I get all tingly just thinking about it

    And Marvin —oh my

    Never Never Gonna Give You Up

    And Closer –RAWR–Adam DOES overthink sex!

  21. avitable says:

    The song, “Closer”, by Trent Reznor, is not a sexy song. I’m sorry, but it’s just not. Here’s the music video that Reznor feels embodies the meaning and soul of the song:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK8Gr0oBau8.

    I’m not overthinking anything except understanding the subtext of the song, which is a bit deeper than the basic lyrics.

  22. i’ve been singing lets get it on for a few days now. love that song.

    closer is a sexy song. i refuse to watch the video. the song makes me wanna do things. hot and fun things.

    moving in stereo is a song i always makes me wanted to do things.

    there are a bunch more, but i’m being summoned…

  23. Willie G says:

    Speaking of Prince, how about Little Nikki?

  24. Sarah Morgan says:

    “Closer” is definitely hot. I don’t know about sexy, but it’s hot.

    The video is weird and creepy but then so is Trent Reznor. That poor little monkey.

    Back to sexy though. No list of sexy is complete without Sade!

  25. NYCWD says:

    Just the fact that you have NIN in the same list as The Artist Formerly Known As Squiggly Line is disturbing in itself… seriously disturbing.

  26. Faiqa says:

    HaHa@ the whole “do it” thing. I totally forgot about late 90s Usher. Gotta go DL some songs…great post.

  27. Shelli says:

    That is a great list. I’ll be singing some of them for the rest of the day.

  28. Rick says:

    Black Oak is likely something you inherited from your awesome Mom, as Jim Dandy was the hottest thing in spandex during the 70s, widely known for an extraordinary “unit” that became disgustingly apparent as he got “Hot & Nasty” on stage.

  29. Ok, if I can close my eyes and forget that Prince weighs 75 pounds soaking wet, without his guitar…and that freaky little porn star mustache…that IS a damnnnnnn sexy song, Britt.

  30. I just don’t get the appeal of Barry White OR Marvin Gaye. I realize that their voices are extremely hot but, I dunno, I guess just the overuse of their songs make it so cliched.

    I’m definitely with you on pretty much any Boyz II Men song – except Mama because that’d be creepy.

  31. Nat says:

    Yeah, Closer is totally hot. It’s one of those complicated but incredibly sexy songs. Fucked up? Definitely. Trent is the guy, you’d fuck in a minute but you’d never take home to home.

    Going to show my college in the late 80s roots here: So Alive by Love and Rockets. Does it for me.

    Thunder Road — Springsteen (could be that I just want to “do it” with Springsteen.)

    The torment in Black — Pearl Jam…. (see note about Springsteen replace it with Eddie Vedder.)

  32. Oh, you totally got me in the mood. I remember making out in the car in my parent’s driveway to ‘Closer’ on repeat.

  33. thedemigod says:

    “At Last” was gonna be my first wedding dance!

    Now I dunno if I want to use it on account of the risk that old people will suddenly dry humping the wait staff…

  34. Jamie says:

    ah yes, i never bothered to learn his name, it was just “the sexy naked black guy video” and EVERYONE knew what i was talking about…mmmmm mmmm…and closer..yeah, i have that on a few cd’s…it’s a hate song though…the whole cd is songs to an ex girlfriend that broke his heart…

  35. RW says:

    Yankee Doodle always worked fer me.

  36. Hilly says:

    Garbage – #1 Crush

    Enough said. ;)

  37. Dejoni says:

    I think I will download these and try it out this week…my hubby will thank you!

  38. ali says:

    listen to these songs:
    forlorn by sunna
    and
    white lips kissed by mew.

    you won’t be sorry. i promise.

  39. Wow, music in the background? What a concept!
    You can tell me and MR Sunshine are old. The soundtrack to fun and games in our house is usually….ummm….fun and games. Last time it was a football game. Once it was World Series of Poker. I need to figure out where he hides the remote!

  40. Would Twist. And Shout. Be too kinky?

  41. twinkie says:

    “I get so weak
    in the knees
    I can hardly speak
    I lose all control
    It’s something comes over me
    In a daze….”

    This post gave me earworm. LOL Now I can’t stop singing this song which didn’t make it on your list so I have no idea why it’s stuck in my head like it is. Hmmmm..

    nostalgia maybe? who knows..

    I agree with your song choices .. even Closer which probably means nothing remotely close to what we think it means but just the way he sings it and his voice and the music makes you wanna go have rough love with your man. He could be singing, “I want to knit you a seeater” or “I want to eat your ears like Jeffrey Dahmner.”

    The song is just hawt.

  42. Hilly says:

    OMG twinkle…that song was my song with my first fiancee! Ahhh SWV.

  43. Stephanie says:

    CONFESSION:

    Enter Sandman-Metallica.

    I know.

    I need help.

  44. muskrat says:

    gotta agree with avitable.

  45. martymankins says:

    Prince, Bon Jovi and Nine Inch Nails…. nice and diverse.

    “Closer” makes me think of going to a strip club, so I guess that could be considered sexy.

  46. Going Places says:

    Bed of Roses! Especially the line “With an iron-clad fist, I wake up and french kiss the morning.” I don’t the french kiss the morning just puts a indescribable feeling in me about longing and love.

    Plus, most of Bon Jovi’s songs have been a savior in my places and relationships in my life. And I am a Jersey Girl at heart.

  47. Courtney says:

    Oh, you should listen to Feelin’ Love by Paula Cole. Totally will make you wanna do it. All night.

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