OK. I know. Halloween is about girls wearing slutty costumes. I get it.
But even I was surprised at the new depths the women’s costume selection has been dragged to this year.
Sexy Sponge Bob? Sponge Bob is a boy, first of all. A boy and a cartoon character. For children.
Although, tempting the ass tapping of childhood heroes is apparently all the rage this Halloween.
I’m sorry, but that doesn’t even look like a Care Bear! Am I the only person who remembers that Care Bears look like bears? Short, round, fuzzy little bears.
Then again, maybe I have been watching a different TV then the rest of the world…
…because I don’t seem to remember Wednesday Adams being a whore. In fact, I thought part of her shtick was that whole not maudlin or in any way slutty thing.
Of course, you could make a case that at least these costumes continue to pretend to be about dressing up as some sort of character. Someone is going through the motions of being a Naughty Nurse, or a Slutty Care Bear.
As opposed to…
…this girl. All pretense dropped here. She just walked into the costume shop and said “make me look slutty, I’ve got great tits.”
I can’t help but wonder, what do these women say when they show up at their annual Halloween Parties and they are faced with the inevitable Costume Question?
“What are you supposed to be?”
“Me? Oh, I’m just slutty.”
What are YOU going to be this year?
Really? A cherry pie? Have these women no respect for themselves. Don’t they know they’ll have Warrant sung in their face all night if they wear that outfit?
I’m kind of torn- I want to do something with my boyfriend but not be cheesy. I think we’re going to be Jim and Pam from the office.
I’m going to be a slutty Borat. Just need to work on the package end of the deal.
Okay, so I’m confused. Which of these is slutty, and which is skanky? Is there a difference, or is it a matter of degree?
You’ve got to admit, she really does have ‘great tits’.
I get to be a chauffer and a chaperone, but that’s not anything new, and I’m definitely not going to be dressing up.
My 2 y/o is going to be a skunk, (lil stinker,) and my 9 y/o is dressing up as ‘Mystery Girl.’
I’m gonna be The Dude.
Because The Earl abides.
I’m going to be a slutty Little Red Riding Hood. But only slutty in sense that I plan on whoring around, the costume isn’t that bad.
GAH!
What. The. Hell!?
I HATE IT WHEN THEY USE MY BODY, BUT NOT MY FACE!!!
Dammit. I LOVE that Wednesday Addams costume. I’ll go hang my head in shame now.
I will never forgive you for making me want to bang SpongeBob.
I was going to go as a really fucked up red hat lady, but since we have nothing to do but take our little girl to the downtown trick-or-treating thing, I’m just going to wear Jack Skellington Mickey Mouse ears.
You have to admit though, the shoes that go along with those slutty outfits make me wish I had money to spend on shoes.
I have not decided what to be but since I spend most of my non working hours in fishnets and booty shorts, maybe I should consider dressing as “demure”
No costume for me this year. The next time I put on a costume I’m going to be a bag of jelly beans.
Have seen some of the costumes they have for little girls? They are just as slutty. Sad.
We always go for a horror theme. We wear the costumes in the streets and go trick or treating. It’s zombies this year. Historical figure zombies. However, we would gladly go as Stormtroopers or a group of Darth Vaders if we could get the outfits.
Pirate. I bought a full. theatrical quality costume a few years ago and it covers EVERYTHING! I made sure of that!
I don’t know what to do with this feeling… Spongebob makes me all tingly…
Hah, I dressed up as Wednesday one year but she wasn’t slutty. My family’s last name is Adams so we did the whole family thing for a Halloween party my parents had, with them dressing up as Morticia and Gomez. Awww, yeah, isn’t that cute? I have to say though, that if I could pull of the slutty Wednesday outfit now I might do it.
I did the Pink Lady thing from Grease one year.
I think I’m just too conventional. I roll my eyes at the slutty nurses uniforms and such. Though I might consider a medieval slutty serving wench costume.
No dressing up for me this year.
*pixie*: hahhahaha, now I’m going to be singing that all day!
Amanda: oh DAMN IT! That is an AWESOME idea! Why did I not think of that for us?!?!
Although, we’re probably closer to Michael and Jan. LOL
PAPA: please don’t let my husband hear about that idea please don’t let my husband hear about that idea please don’t let my husband hear about that idea please don’t let my husband hear about that idea please don’t let my husband hear about that idea please don’t let my husband hear about that idea
SwanShadow: I think all of these are just slutty. The skanky ones are at Wal-Mart.
drofen: my 3 yo is going as Sully – no clue on the 8 yo yet. Is that bad I have my costume befor he does?
B.E. Earl: um. Yeah. Of course. Sure.
Honeybell: I giggled out loud, right here in my kitchen at that.
Amber: how RUDE of them!
Mr Lady: it’s ok – my costume has “fringed stockings”. *sigh*
Brandon: whooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea? he he he
ginamonster: can I borrow your fishnets for my costume?
Maria: I will cut a bitch before I put my daughter in something slutty. Seriously.
I don’t know who is the bitch that I could reasonably blame and therefore cut. But someone.
Selma: historical zombies, eh? You people go with the smart theme, I see.
Blondefabulous: a few years ago I went to a costume shop – a real one for a community theater. Best. costumes. ever. And THEY are not slutty. I wish there was one around here.
SciFi Dad: turn on Nickelodeon?
Laura: I’m not conservative, I just.. I don’t know. Am weird I guess. I see the slutty nurse costumes and scream “they don’t even wear that! Do you know how impossible it would be for a nurse to get through an 8 hour shift in that?!?!?”
I could tell you but then, well you know;-)
It will be FUN
I’d say all of the above are pretty nice. But that last one is just asking for a walk-on role in Pushing Daisies as a one-night-stand for Ned.
hate that halloween turned into slut fest. although just knowing that brandon is disturbed about wanting to bang bob is hysterical!
wish i had a frikken clue what i will dress up as. uggggggggggggghh…
I think I might be a nun.
A slutty nun.
I hate the whole skankfest that Halloween has become. I look at pictures from my sister on Facebook during Halloween and I’ve got no idea what she’s trying to be – last year she wore a black blazer over a pink bra and a pink mini skirt that said “guilty” on the ass.
I’m going as Alice in Wonderland. I had a hell of a time finding an Alice costume that was both plus-sized and non-skanky. And didn’t make me look like I was wearing a blue satin tent.
Probably a slutty-skanky combo. We haven’t gone shopping yet.
Ah, I love slutty costumes. Here are some more ideas:
Slutty Buzz Lightyear
Slutty Girl from “The Ring”
Slutty Leper
Slutty George Bush
I cried when I saw the Spongebob costume. I mean, really?
I’m being She-Ra. I had someone make my costume for me and I’m excited as hell and can’t wait for Halloween.
ok the spongebeb one really isnt bad, i acctually like it. It’s funny how point out the one that doesnt show any cleavage but yet you dont say anything about the cherry one or the adams family one! u pick the best one to critisize! thats really sad!
I’ll be Athena – Goddess of clothing that goes to all the way to your ankles.
Dad will be Ceaser (yeah I know we’re mixing Romans and Greeks but that’s the way we roll around here)
The girls can’t stop laughing at the idea that Dad is going to wear a dress. Technically he’ll be showing more skin than I will.
I’m going to be a slutty magician!
I’m coming down there for Halloween. By the time it rolls around it seems it will be too cold for a good slutty Halloween. If I get lucky I’ll see a couple of skanky eskimos exposing some neck skin. Thanks, Iowa, for ruining my favorite holiday once again.
(btw +1 for banging slutty spongebob)
I really, really considered that Wednesday outfit. I love Wednesday. I, too, was amazed at the depths of sluttiness of some of those costumes…hey, weren’t the people that worked at that Halloween store kind of rude?
I’ll just stick to the scarey mom. No costume needed just wake up on wrong side of bed. Good enough of a fright!
I like all this slutty shit! In fact, if I go up to my cousin’s party, I’ll be going as ChewbaccHer…slutty outfit + big hairy mask. NOT KIDDING.
“Are you going to be slutty or skanky this year?”
I don’t know. Is a blue M&M slutty? Skanky? Both?
Actually, I’m dressing as myself and handing out candy.
I’m not going to be anything.
I have a shirt from Target with a spider on it!
Wow.
I’m seeing the Care Bears in a whole new light.
Fucking wow.
There was a story on the news about this last night. About how all the costumes have gone skanky. Briefcase & I are going to be a cave man and cave woman and YES I’m a skanky cave woman, but not nearly as skanky as THESE costumes!!
Britt – we have a BIGAMIST in Money Town! I wrote about him today. He just got caught. If you have a minute swing by – it’s an amazing story!
Slutty Spongebob is a new all time low. And awesome one too. Seriously.
It’s like the Slutty Pumpkin episode of ‘How I Met Your Mother’.
I’m going as pin-up. In other words, retro slut.
+1 for hobags;)
I’m going as Albert Camus. No shit. Raincoat and all.
Here’s my question related to Nickelodean cartoons and nakedness. Why do Little Bear’s parent’s wear clothes and he walks around naked?
I run a costume sewing business and sell retail to supplement. I refuse to put those things on my site. Not only are they trashy, but they fit very few women and are made out of materials that last only a couple washings. They are cheap in more ways than one.
If you want to look like a slut, let me sew you something slutty that lasts. You can be slutty for years. You can actually wash your slutty costume of all your slut induced soilage.
Damn economy has my costume biz lagging, sigh.
Slutty Sponge Bob? Really? Who the hell thought THAT was a good idea for a costume? Sheesh. I must really be getting old.
True, but then that could be said about Spongebob in general…
Well I was going to go as a girl on safari and The Man was going as a kangaroo (long story)..but apparently now I’m going as a slut, because my costume was one of those objects are sluttier than they appear type deals.
I have no freakin’ clue what I am going to be. I’ve found lots of things I like but none of them would ever like me (read : too skanky for a mama of two).
I’ll be at Adams but I’ll be the lamesauce wearing jeans and a tee shirt and no costume.
I’m in the midst of making my costume right now. And it involves giant boxes and lots of tinfoil and those weird air vent tube things that people who work with air vents use to move air, or something. So when I’m done, you don’t be able to tell if I’m a man or a woman because none of my female parts will be showing or even peeking. Because I’ll be wearing a giant box. And I’ll be a a robot. A robot from the Flight of the Conchords Robot Song, to be exact. Amazingly awesome? Affirmative.
I am far too old to be skanky… a little naughty, yes, skanky, no.
I’m not telling what I want to be because the way things are going I’m not going to be it unless I go the skank route.
Oy.
I have 19 year old nieces. I actually caught myself saying OUT LOUD “When did Halloween become DressLikeAWhore Day??”.
Yep, I’m officially old. So old that I’m not even dressing up this year. *sigh*
lolwut?? That link isn’t Camus. This is.
Ohhh Lordy. That’s just…shocking. It’s amazing what’s actually out there. Here in the UK Halloween isn’t as big as it is in the States…people here just tend to go for zombies, vampires and witches. Or, of course, sexy cat, sexy bat, sexy zombie…etcetera.
I don’t want to look slutty. I have no interest in the gosip that surely insue if I were to dress like a slut!
Hmmm, I was going to dress up to give out candy cause I’m too non-social for parties, but I can’t find something that’s quite right for me.
I am actually going as “crazy Britney.” I’ve got the bald cap, a long umbrella and all I need is a frappachino and I’ll be set.
I love the idea of going as Jim and Pam from “The Office,” but unfortunately hubs isn’t a fan.
Turnbaby: slutty FUN?
kapgar: I don’t think that last one cares whose one night stand she ends up as.
hello haha narf: I know, me too. I had to get a larger sized costume just to make sure my ass was covered!
Nat: THEY HAVE THOSE!!!!
Crystal: the shop I was at had plus sized ones – lots and lots. For lots and lots of money.
Poppy: can you please come as Pam? I decided today at lunch that you could pull it off perfectly!
avitable: How about Slutty Palin?
Oh. Wait. That’s been done. Nevermind. It’s not in my budget anyway.
B: I wish I would have thought about it ahead of time so I could have made something.
Melizzard: Jared wore a grass skirt and coconut bra last year.
Clown: no you’re not. And you’re lucky I know that, or you’d be going as a slutty impersonator of my totally awesome costume.
skanky mormon: I’ll save you a seat.
Faiqa: oh yeah, I considered that too.
But I didn’t think I’d have time for major cosmetic surgery between now and the party. I’ve already got plans this weekend.
~kat: I was going to go as Bitch, but Adam said that didn’t count as a costume.
Karen Sugarpants: because youz a HO, that’s why.
Dawn: I think that is skutty.
Maria: BOOOOO!
NYCWD: wow in a THAT IS SO WRONG way, right?
Twenty Four At Heart: well, I can at least get behind the idea that fabric was in short supply back then.
Betsey: retro slut. lol. Awesome.
skanky mormon: *sigh* I miss you.
RW: I tried to fix your link for you by adding the little triangle thingies.
Kiki: ummmm, I dunno. That’s beyond my area of expertise.
Becky..Absent Minded Housewife: WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS BEFORE NOW!??! Dammit.
Evil Genius: me too
drofen: huh
Lynette: I had to try on several costumes last night because of that exact same phenomenon!
Sheila (Charm School Reject): ooooooh, you’re gonna get thrown in the poooooool.
Bridget: oh that is fucking brilliant!
Finn: I am far too old for that as well.
Ashlie- Mommycosm: hey, that doesn’t make us old! That makes us… er… SOMETHING NOT OLD!!
RW: you need to learn how to make links?
Agent Elle: everything is a big freaking deal here
Robina: I didn’t even think about the gossip. I don’t think these girls care.
Jamie: how can you not be a fan!??!?!
Frumpy “Roy’s Pam” or Hot “Jim’s Pam”?
Wow.
Just, wow.
A sexy Spongebob? ick.
I dress up the same every year…as Dolly Parton. I have her down to a science.
LOL@Brandon for “I will never forgive you for making me want to bang SpongeBob.”
I know! The costumes get worse every year!
And I’m going as something with my boyfriend. You’ll have to read my Halloween post for the secret, mahahaha. And by Halloween I mean November 2nd…since November 1st is the night of the huge party we’re going to.
Oh nice. I think Poppy might be be a Care Bear!
My everyday outfit is slutty.
Not really.
Maybe.
This year since i am hugely pregnant I am putting on an orange t-shirt and calling myself a pumpkin. There is a serious lack of slutty maternity halloween costumes out there you know?
Although my husband would be all over that Wednesday Adams one.
Um, I just have to admit something right here and now. If I was skinny enough, I’d totally go as cherry pie, hahaha.
I think that just stems from never actually being thin enough to wear a slutty costume though.
I teach 2nd graders, so I have to keep my costume “G Rated”. I’m going to be a surgeon…scrubs, crocs, stethoscope, etc. I love it because it’s like wearing pajamas and I don’t have to suck in my stomach!
However…my official name (unknown to my students) is Dr. McJimBeamy!!! (I’m a gal, but what the hell?)
That last look? So obviously queen of the county fair.
This post inspired me to write. I always thought of slutty as an everyday look. Well, until I decided that comfort was more important. And the fact that for the last seven years or so, slutty would be frowned upon at my place of work. As such, I save the slutty for non-work hours.
Skanky is never cool. Unless you’re trying out for a reality show on VH1.
But back to slutty. I have female relatives who sometimes question my skirt length. I have pretty good legs and so my answer to them is, “Because I can.”
I will be tired.
I’m gonna be a band parent in San Antonio cheering on my daughter’s high school band, who just won 1st place and is on their way to State Finals. They play on contest Halloween Night and the State Finals are – guess when? TUESDAY NOVEMBER 4TH.
I vote “change the date, stupids!”
I didn’t even know that what the Care Bear one was until you said it. I was a Care Bear once…it didn’t look anything like that, it actually looked like….A BEAR!
I’m very anti-Halloween, so I will be myself. Every year the Captain tries to offer me “great” costume suggestions. This usually causes me to bitch about how Halloween is Dress-Like-A-Whore Day. This year I told him, “Hey, why don’t I just buy a pair of white wings and put on those with my underwear and go as a Victoria’s Secret Angel?”
Men think everything involving underwear is a good idea.
I kinda laugh at all the women’s costumes out there. Some are cute and fun, but most are ridiculous. It’s like that scene in Mean Girls where she shows up dressed all ugly and is totally out of place.
slutty or skanky this year
Who gives all the Octopi blowjobs for free? SPONGE WHORE NO PANTS! Fake tittied and orange tanned vapid is she! SPONGE WHORE NO PANTS!
[...] while I am loathe to rock the dreaded skank or slutty look, I am running out of options [...]