Shash inspired me. Or tagged me. Whatever. The point is, this post counts as fulfilling an obligation. To Shash.
Today is the day I drive back up to Nashville to reclaim my children from their grandparents, in more ways than one. It has been three weeks since I have seen their little faces and felt their wiggly arms.
I cannot wait.
As a woman who had motherhood thrust upon her unexpectedly, I’ve often struggled with the notion that maybe I wasn’t made for this parenting thing. I have in the past laid awake at night and dreamed about the what ifs, walking along the roads of my imaginary life without children and obligation. I’ve envied my friends with no kids and their carefree lifestyles.
And yet, after three weeks of “living the dream”, I am counting down the miles and the hours until I can be a parent again.
Here’s what I did while my kids were away that I could not have done with them here:
- Spent a lazy day at the beach with friends and cocktails. (The kids and I go to the beach a lot, but it was a different experience to go as just an adult and not an alert mother.)
- Went to a movie after work.
- Got a pedicure after work.
- Stopped at the store with no prior planning and browsed the ULTA aisles.
- Slept in until 7am during the week.
- Slept in until after 9am on the weekend.
- Spent a weekend away with my husband.
- Ate cottage cheese and/or cheesecake for dinner.
OH MY GOODNESS LIFE WITHOUT CHILDREN IS GLAMOROUS!!
While some of that was nice and I did enjoy myself, I was surprised at the lack of free time I still seemed to have. I never felt like I had hours and hours on my hands to dive into projects I’ve been putting off.
I’ve come to the conclusion that children are not at all what is eating up my life and preventing me from living my dreams.
No, what I really need to do is quit my job. Only then will I be truly happy.
Seriously though. As nice as it was to have a little bit more freedom and a little more flexibility with my schedule, none of it came even close to filling the giant hole left by their absence. None of it. Not the movies or the shopping or the hotels or the cocktails.
None of it holds a candle to the brief moments when I would hear Devin’s voice bubble over the phone.
I never in a million years would have dreamed that I’d become one of these women. One of these women who stands up on the Internet and says “My children give my life meaning!”
But here I am. Loud and proud. And while I don’t want to take anything away from people who don’t have kids, I can say with absolutely certainty that that is not for me.
I, it would seem, am made for this parenting gig.
I know that you’ve been missing them, and I’m glad that they’ll finally be back shortly.
I know exactly what you mean. As someone who also had motherhood thrust upon her unexpectedly, I never thought I would enjoy it this much. I never thought it would mean this much. In fact, I always figured I would never have or want children. But when I sit down and think about this motherhood gig, I sort of like it. It’s neat to watch these little people grow.
See? I for one have never doubted you for a minute.
I wish I could be there to see you hold them again for the first time!!!!
I have been there, done that, and gotten a tshirt that says “I am a mom! If you can’t handle that….suck it!”
It’s always good to know that there is some love in your life britt. After hearing the way you yell at Adam I sometimes start to wonder
I didn’t doubt it, at all. Enjoy all those
:hug: and :kiss:
they’ve been saving up for you
Have a safe journey to Nashville and back.
Hooray!!!! They’ll be home soon!
There is nothing that fills the void you didn’t even know you had like your kids, is there?!
That probably didn’t make sense.
I’ll stick with :clap: !!!!
Get back home safe and sound all of ya.
Of course I know that you love Adam. Otherwise why would you get together every week to yell at him
Exactly! Perfectly stated!
Have a safe trip sugar. And I’m glad for your epiphany because we could see it in you all along.
Just a word of caution, don’t feel like a bad mom the next time you feel frustrated by motherhood. That is still normal even when you love your children to withing an inch of their lives. I’m glad they are coming home and you can squeeze them until they fart.
I was a week shy of 17 when I had my oldest, and I have had more moments of self-doubt than moments of pride in my mothering skills in the 14 years since. But you are absolutely right; there is nothing that compares.
I’m happy you’ll have your babies back soon, and drive safe woman! I kinda like ya, you know!
:angel:
Funny how it sneaks up on you, isn’t it?
I hope my epitaph will be “her children loved her”. Nothing, and I mean, nothing, is more important to me than that.
I am so glad your little ones are coming home soon. I don’t even know you outside the computer, but I could have told you that you are a mothering kind of gal. Oh, and being single and having no kids? The eating Doritos for dinner and having no good examples to set? Liberation! Yay! But it’s not all champagne and limos either. It’s just different way of life, but I wouldn’t call it better, not even on its best day. Yay for little people!
Sorry to crash your current post with this total irrelevant little piece of information, but I just realized I’ve been linking my readers to some Miss Britt Charters yacht club or something instead of THE Miss Britt. Matter resolved now, we can all sleep tight and I am sorry.
Whew. I feel better for getting that out in the open.
Oh, and in regards to this post, I give you 15 quality minutes with your kids before you lose your shit and think, “well, that excitement ended awful quickly, didn’t it?”
And I say this with love, from one mutha to another.
Isn’t it odd? I mean while they are with you, there are times you want to muffle them with a pillow. ~smile~ And yet, let them be gone for even an overnight event and you’re bouncin off the walls til they get home (so you can muffle them witih a pillow ~snort~).
Drive safely, babe. Talk atcha when you get home.
I doubt myself on a fairly regular basis as to whether I am cut out for motherhood – being part of the “thrust into this shit” club can really wreak (reek?) (sp?!) havoc on a mama’s peace of mind.
But DAMN do I love my kids.
And I’m so glad that you’re going to be able to hold your babies in your arms again today!!
Have a safe trip babe.
I’ve never been away from my children for more than 24 hours. If I ever get that opportunity, I intend to sleep 75% of that time and sit on my arse the other 25%. I am not kidding…….I’m one exhausted woman, lol.
When we lived in Arizona my mom would pick up the kids for a week after Christmas. After 3 days I’d be going ape-shit crazy.
I can’t wait to quit my job and stay at home with my kids. Work is really hindering my lifestyle (although it finances my lifestyle).
Amen, girl. I know exactly how you feel.
But of course you’re meant for this gig! How could you think otherwise when Emma cried at being separated from you? I look at Motley some days and I wonder what the hell I did wrong to make her this way. Then there are days what she does makes me see that I didn’t do anything wrong… I, in fact, did everything right. Or at least right to best of my ability in the circumstances that were deal me. That’s all any of us can do, but the occasional doubt doesn’t mean we aren’t meant for the job. I’m glad the kids are coming home. I know you’ve missed them.
yeah they kinda get to ya that way. And it never stops, even when they are out of your house for good.
Amen to that sister. That’s why I have four, and I kept them spread out so I would always have a little one. But now, my little one is in kindergarten and I’m broken hearted! I WANT ANOTHER BABY!
But I’m fixed. I can’t.
me too, me too! Shocked and surprised by how important these little people have become in my life and when I catch myself thinking of the things I might do when they’re bigger, I stop and remember how much I will miss their smallness. what a ride!
oh and one more thing. Kudoos to you for quitting smoking, even if only for a few hours. do it for your kids, but more importantly do it for yourself!