In Which I Discuss My Weight. And Use Real Numbers.

I’m just under 5’2 and I wear a size 6. And I’m going to talk about my weight.

If you don’t think you can stomach that without the need to let your eye balls roll right out of your head, I suggest you stop reading now.

Still with me? OK. But you’ve been warned.

I went to the doctor yesterday for my required “Yes the meds are working, please give me more” check-up. I had barely walked through the closely guarded secret door before they threw me on a scale.

Oh yeah, I thought. This is why I hate doctor’s offices. That’s right.

137.5 lbs.

And while the nurse assured me that they would automatically deduct 2 pounds for my clothing and shoes (because sandals are heavy, people. Very, very heavy.), the image that seared itself into my brain was the digital gray on gray screen flashing 137.5

That’s awfully damn close to 140. Too close for comfort.

Much, much too close when I thought about how far I had come.

Hey. I saw that. Your eyes are rolling, aren’t they?

Listen. I get that 140 lbs is no big deal to a lot of people. Hell, 140 lbs is below goal weight for a lot of women. And I get that, I do. I also get that it is important – no, crucial – for a woman to be able to see the beauty in herself whether she is a size 2 or a size 20. And I also get that sickly thin is not only not healthy, but not entirely attractive on a grown woman.

I get that. I hear you.

Now please, hear me.

3 years ago I was about 40 lbs overweight. I’d just had my second child and I had to face the fact that the forgiveness society was giving me for my roundness because of a recent pregnancy was misplaced. I’d been carrying around those rolls for years before Emma was conceived.

40 lbs on a 5 foot nothing frame is a lot. Getting dressed in the morning had turned into a daily nightmare with me struggling to disguise myself underneath a carefully concocted costume of layers. I no longer recognized the face that stared back at me from pictures. Dressing rooms and floor length mirrors taunted me as I tried to find a shadow of Me in my reflection.

And so I made a decision.

I was done hating my body. I was done bitching and moaning and hiding from myself. I was absolutely sick and tired of my body coming between me and the rest of my life.

I started a low carb diet.

I didn’t go crazy, but I cut out bread and sugar and potatoes. I drank more water and even exercised on a regular basis.

And I lost weight. Damn near 40 lbs of weight to be exact. And suddenly getting dressed in the morning was fun. Taking my kids to the pool didn’t cause an anxiety attack because I had to get into a swimsuit.

The more weight I lost, the less it mattered what the fuck I looked like. It was freeing and liberating and empowering all at the same time.

I’ve kept most of the weight off for 3 years now. Sure, I fluctuate 5 lbs here or there from time to time. But for the most part, I’ve stayed on track.

At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself. I ignored the fact that my pants were getting tight again, because hey! size 6! technically still fit! I tried not to think about how uncomfortable it was becoming to be in a swimsuit. Because – well – it could be worse. Right?

Right. It could be worse. It has been worse.

But quite frankly, I don’t want to live my life by the “it could be worse” standard. Especially not when I know that I’m capable of better.

Watching those numbers pop up on the scale yesterday was a kick in the gut for me. I’d worked my ass off for three damn years, and then gotten lazy and cocky over the last few months. I haven’t gained back all the weight, but a good fucking chunk of it. And at this rate? It’s only a matter of time before I’m right back to where I started.

I can’t go back there. I won’t.

So, I’ve made a decision. Again.

Enough is enough. I remember what it’s like to be able to forget about your outsides long enough to work on the inside. I know how great it feels to be in control of your body, the sense of pride and accomplishment that comes from taking care of yourself. I know the inner dialogs that answers back to the quips that “it must be nice”, the reminder to yourself that “yeah, it is nice. And I earned this all on my own through a lot of hard work and commitment, thank you very much.”

Karl and I have already committed to one another to quit smoking this month. The official date is August 15th, but I’m going to be spending 24 hours in the car this weekend, so… um… let’s be realistic.

But Monday we start fresh.

Monday, August 18th, the kids go back to school and I take my damn body back. No more cigarettes. No more french fries. No more cheesecake as big as my head. No more mindless stuffing of the pie hole when I know it’s a cheap exchange for the long term results of taking care of myself.

Enough is enough. And 140 lbs for ME? Is enough.
————————————————————————————————-

OK, so raise your hand if you’re thinking I’m a vain, shallow whore right now? GREAT! Then you’ll love tonight’s radio show! Avitable and I will be hosting another battle of the barbs on “Clearly, You’re Retarded” at 9pm EST. Tonight’s topic: Cosmetic Surgery (And all the other lengths women go to for the sake of vanity) Click here to listen live, poke fun at us in the chatroom, or download past episodes.

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Comments

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  1. avitable says:

    Just as long as your belly will still talk to me!

  2. Quit your bitchin’! You look great! Me however….. not so much.

  3. AmyD says:

    This all sounds pretty reasonable to me. It doesn’t sound vain or shallow at all.

    You GO you no-carb girl! :rock:

  4. Stephanie says:

    This will piss Adam off. I foresee many lunchtime temptations. Stay strong, Britt!

    Now if i could only follow my own advice…i lost 130 pounds in 2007, and have regained almost 30 of them.

    It sucks. I understand. :hug:

  5. little_lj says:

    I’ve been having similar thoughts recently. And I applaud you for using real numbers. There’s no way in hell I would!

    But you’re right.. I’m sick of thinking, ‘It could be worse.. It’s not THAT BAD’.. when you know it’s been better.

    I think I’m going to join you.. no more eating crap woo!

  6. Winter says:

    When I was in my 20′s I weighed about 137 lbs. I am 5’5″ and back then I was solid muscle from taking endless dance classes. When Motley was 17 she weighed 137 lbs… at 5’10″. My god the kid looked awesome. I looked at her and realized it was never about weight for me. I just wanted to be taller! Waaaah!

  7. B.E. Earl says:

    Better not lose too much weight.

    Car spiders are attracted to skinnier women. :evil:

  8. flutter says:

    I.SO. understand this.

  9. Sheila says:

    I don’t think you’re being unreasonable about wanting to feel better about your body. Just make sure you do it in a healthy way… and, loose about 40 pounds for me too, k?

  10. kateanon says:

    Bravo for being brave enough to use numbers. I wish you well on your quest for better health!

  11. good luck with the smoking thing. :martini:

  12. This is an admirable post… being brave enough to use REAL numbers. It’s all about feeling good in your own body. I just started “personal training” sessions tailored around my injury. Had my 4th one yesterday, got out of bed this morning … and can barely walk – or sit. Guess my ass needed that!
    Hey, I’m having a contest this week! $50 prize! Why don’t you come visit and enter? Who doesn’t need fifty bucks in this economy?

  13. Mindi says:

    As one short, fat smoking chick to another….I’ve been looking for a date (my date was supposed to be 2 weeks ago, but I had a 12 hour drive to Savannah to do and, as you said, let’s be reasonable)

    Methinks I need to come up with a “stop smoking badge” on my newly acquired Photoshop, complete with a Mr. Linky and a kick-ass post.

    Then again, I suck at Photoshop!

  14. Angel says:

    One of my best friends used to be kinda chubby; not fat, by any means, but chunky. Anyway, she worked her way down into a 2 and realized she didn’t look good there, and settled into a 5/6 looking fit and healthy. Now she has a heart attack any time her weight goes up more than 3 pounds. She looks fantastic to me, but she still sees that chunky girl in the mirror, and as long as she is healthy, I support her efforts to maintain a size that she feel best at. Same goes for you, chickie.

    PS I weigh about 250 lbs. Just so you don’t feel exposed alone. ;-)

  15. I totally hear you! Been feeling the same way, but only doing half the work. I’ve been exercising (cardio only so far) nearly every day for a couple months but the luckiest I get is 3lbs down on the scale – and then it’s back in a couple days. And I know that if I *really* committed I’d be eating a lot better, and NOT eating ice cream at 11pm far too many nights. DUH.

    Good luck to you!

    I’m also tripping because I weigh the same as you but I wear a size 10. What gives? I’m only 2 inches taller – does that really make a big difference?

  16. Amanda says:

    I weight almost exactly what you do, and I feel like a lard ass all the time. I think it sits heavier on me than most people. I think you’re skinnier than I am. I know you’re skinnier than I am.

  17. Jamie says:

    well britt, i’ll share my real number…it’s 283….how i wish it weren’t…there are so many excuses why that number is that way…by the way, i’m 5’6″ (when they are nice to me, it’s like 5’5 1/2″) and that is a whole lotta fat to carry around and in ALL honesty, it’s pure laziness as to why i am the way i am..hubby loves me just as i am…kids don’t complain…who am i trying to impress? i don’t have the motivation to do it…and i should…to be healthier…to feel more secure with myself and the person i see in the mirror…i hate the fat, and yet, it’s here and i wonder, what would i do without it? sad isn’t it? i hope one day i get to that point where i say “enough is enough” and i actually follow through with it, and stay with it…so good for you and staying with it…

  18. Sarah says:

    140 lbs is my goal weight, the weight I’m kinda trying to get too. But then I am 5’9 and not petite.

    Good luck getting your body back, if you ever need a virtual gym buddy drop me a line! I know I need to start getting back on track with my weight goals. It’s not that I want to be ‘skinny’ but I need to quit being out of shape.

  19. Hey, I noticed how fat I was getting this morning during my shower so I’m right there with you.

  20. Cool. Come by and hypnotize yourself if you please ;)

  21. Maria says:

    You don’t sound vain to me. I’m a small boned 4’11″ and hover between 115 and 120 most of the time. People never understand when I say I’m too heavy at that weight. I’ll be here cheering you on.

  22. Danalyn says:

    I always thought you were taller than me. You look taller than me…or maybe Avitable is just that short. :nana:

  23. DeannaBanana says:

    I think you are bootyful. And we both know it can be done, with good choices and exercise…Im with ya sister. I would like to lose another 20 or so, so meet me at the gym at the butt-crack of dawn! BAHAHAHAHAHA…not. We can talk on the phone while we exercise in the evenings though!

  24. Hallie says:

    I’ve been lo carbing for 6 weeks and have lost 7-9 pounds (depends on the day)

    I am miserable and missing cupcakes but pants feel looser!

    Hallie
    http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

  25. Miss Britt says:

    avitable: of course!

    blondefabulous: *sigh* thanks – but it’s not bitching so much as deciding to do something about it.

    AmyD: I will! Just as soon as I finish this cheesecake in the fridge…

    (and thank you)

    Stephanie: in one YEAR?? Wow. That is amazing! Hey, I’m with you if you decide to get back on the wagon!

    little_lj: yay!

    Winter: LOL, well, I’d love to be taller too. But I just don’t think that’s in the cards.LOL

    B.E. Earl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo! (bastard)

    flutter: yeah? Thank you.

    Sheila: I don’t have the will power to starve myself and my body can’t handle diet aids. So I’m pretty much just left with ‘a healthy way’ – luckily.

    kateanon: thanks!

    Shamelessly Sassy: yeah, I’m nervous as hell about that.

    Twenty Four At Heart: a prize?? I must have missed that in the feedreader (I’ve been so behind!!)

    Mindi: hey! we have a badge! It’s on Karl’s site. Heh.

    Angel: oh honey, you are so damn sweet. Thank you.

    Violet The Verbose: um, you’re taller so I’d think it’d be a smaller size. Hmmmm…. maybe my pants are too tight and yours are too big? LOL

    Amanda: well, look. That’s OBVIOUSLY not true honey. I think maybe you need to spend sometime in the mirror babe.

    Jamie: I get that – when you’re married and you have a family and you have other things that say it’s OK. And you know what? That’s cool. Don’t should on yourself. If you’re HAPPY – then fuck that. You know?

    Sarah: figuring out when to excercise is the roughest part for me.

    Freelance Guru: oh and that is the worst time to notice. Well, OK. The second worst time to notice.

    Maria: thank you!

    Danalyn: I’ve had a couple people say they thought I was taller comparing my pictures to meeting me. I must photograph bigger. LOL

    DeannaBanana: oh there we go! We can do breathy convos on the treadmill! LOL

    Hallie it gets easier. I honestly am not miserable when I low carb. Not at all.

  26. Nat says:

    I hear you. I just had a rude visual of myself in the Holiday Inn mirror here.

    (As an aside, isn’t one of the side effect of “the meds” weight gain?)

  27. Lisa says:

    OMG, smoking and dieting together? That’s incredibly, well…I’d like to say brave but from my past experience it’s been insane for me but it can be done.

    Isn’t Karl quitting smoking on August 15th?

  28. diva65 says:

    As someone who has lost over 120lbs in 5 years I look at you and see someone I want to be. Petite blonde and beautiful. That isn’t nor will it ever be me. When people tell me how great I look I still gag. I still have about 65 lbs to lose. Even then the charts will say I’m overweight. It has been the battle of a lifetime but I’m sure I’ll win someday. I eat a balanced diet and hit the gym 4-5 days a week. Starting is the hardest part. I wish you all the best Britt!!!

  29. size 20 here. i don’t care what the numbers on the scale flash, never have, but i sure would like to be a size 10 again. loved how i felt at that size. dammit, i am gonna get back to my ten!

    you are beautiful, my dear britt. inside and out, you are truly beautiful. i wish you all the best in claiming your body and getting to where you want to be.

    just don’t cut out beer and brittinis, k? :martini:

  30. p.s. to stephanie – how the fuck does one lose 120 in one year??!?!! that sounds like too much. although i totally wanna do half of that in one year. talk to me!

  31. Kate says:

    Good for you.

    I think you are wise to do something about it now.. rather than later.

  32. RW says:

    Smoking and weight at the same time is rough. Good luck with that. I need to lose a bunch and it’s all in my gut. Really out of proportion I guess. But I’m not giving up cigars. Nuh-uh.

  33. Crys says:

    i hear you. it’s such a delicate dance.

    at some point one has to wonder why can’t i just eat this fry? with that mojito? followed by that lemon bar? why is life so unfairrrr? and it’s because it just is.

    plus, the older you get the less you eat and the more you really ought to move. whomever wrote that rule kind of sucks. as it turns out, i’ve been a vegetarian for two months now, but do you think i’ve lost a pound of weight? well ok, i’ve lost seven — but those were pounds i’d gained due to health issues last year, so really all i’ve done is self-corrected. but did you catch how i just worded that? “really all i’ve done”… wow, srsly? because self-correction is marvelous! we women should celebrate things like that more.

    sure, i can obsess about the numbers just like anyone else, but if i really must obsess, i am trying to find ways to obsess about things that light me up and make me a better person, inside and out. like Caprese salads out on the deck and bike rides on Sunday. these things are fabulous for my body to be sure, but mostly i just enjoy them. i no longer adopt punitive attitudes toward how i conduct myself in terms of my health; i want to be fit and healthy but do not want to be an insipid clone of every other freaked out woman who watches Gossip Girl and then throws up in the toilet.

    like i said: a delicate dance.

  34. Crys says:

    (also, i will mirror what RW has said — that’s a tough combo to try and pull off. but if anyone can? ’tis you, my dear.)

  35. Shash says:

    Hey, I’m still working on getting you a Wii Fit – I totally haven’t forgotten. I have at least TWO places that have me on speed dial once they start coming in stock again. I think that will go a long way to helping you keep your promise to yourself. My husband has so far lost 20 lbs using the Wii Fit and walking. I hit my goal last week. So, it definitely works.

    (My goal was 10 lbs BTW)

    It’s so refreshing to have someone discuss this very topic so honestly. Thanks!

    Also, I think you are gorgeous, no matter what. If I could get my hair to do what yours does, I’d grow it out for DAYS!!! :)

    Shash

  36. Robina says:

    Hell, you don’t sound like a shallow vein whore! What is wrong with you? You are so beautiful, and I love when women care enough about themselves and their bodies to treat it right. I just wish I could quit smoking. I exercise 3 – 4 times a week and am now up to 55 minutes on the eliptical. But I NEED to quit drinking coke, and probably not so much beer, and yea, the smoking! I need a friend to quit with. Maybe I’ll see if Leah will start and quit with me! LOL

  37. Selma says:

    Good luck with everything. It won’t be easy to lose weight and stop smoking at the same time but I’m sure you’ll give it your best shot. I find that giving up carbs is the way to go for me too. And swimming. As little as ten laps a day works wonders for weight loss. Good on you, Britt. You can do it!

  38. Crys says:

    i just realized that there may be some bulimics out there who might have read the “insipid clone” remark and taken it to heart. that was unfair of me. having battled half my life with eating disorders i know first hand: that shit is not a joke.

    my apologies. (you know i hate hurting anybody’s feelings. it’s because of the popemobiles, plus my unspeakable human decency. was that too much.)

  39. Crys says:

    i won’t stop commenting here. ever.

  40. Dawn says:

    I know of what you speak.

    Being just 5 feet tall (on a really excellent day), every single pound gained shows. Two or three pounds don’t really show on someone who’s 5′ 7″, but on me? Holy cow, there they are! On my face! On my belly! On my thighs!

    After I got married, I gained the Freshman 15. But being such an overachiever, I gained 20. Hello!?!? Twenty additional pounds on a five foot body? Obscene!

    I got my wits together and got myself back to the 100 pound mark, but it’s a daily struggle to keep it there. And cheesecake doesn’t help.

    Congratulations on deciding to quit smoking and lose weight. Just don’t lose too much — keep it real.

  41. Poppy says:

    5’2″ and 137.5 lbs is absolutely wonderful. I love that number on you. I know you don’t, but does it really matter what you think? (Oh, right, yah.)

    I am 5’4″ and was at 154 lbs before I arrived to NY. Who the hell knows what I’m up to now, but my pants still fit if it’s not a bloaty day, so that’s good. :wink:

    As for 140, it’s a great number, but for me, when I weigh that, people who know me best think there is something wrong with me when I drop down to the mid- to low- 140s. I look sick then. I’m curvaceous, and I would never want to stop being that.

    And to Hola: I was a size 18/20 a few years back and I still loved me, so I totally understand that. It’s all about loving yourself.

  42. Fantastagirl says:

    Just be healthy about it, and you will get where you want to be. Sounds like you know what you need to do, and you know how – so do it! We all know you can.

    What’s the plan for stopping smoking?

  43. I understand. I’m short too. What is obese for me isn’t obese for most, although right now, by anybody’s standards, I am significantly overweight.

    But, a couple of years ago, I lost around 60 lbs by just being sensible about my food choices and exercising regularly.

    It felt so good!!!

    It’s all back. That doesn’t feel good.

    You’re wise to be aware. I don’t think that’s finicky or obsessive or unrealistic.

    It isn’t shallow to want to look and feel good.

  44. I really think it is about what weight YOU are comfortable at. There really is no way for women to win in general society these days…either we are too heavy and should be ashamed, or anorexic (even if we are not). I finally said fuck it all and just went with the weight/size that is comfy for me and is able to be maintained fairly easily. I won’t say my weight because it pisses people off, but I am proud of you for using real numbers. So often we dance around it, when really who the hell cares. I come here for the person you are, not the person you look like (although you happen to be hot on the outside too). Good luck making the positive changes, and I will be pulling for you on the quitting smoking thing as well.

  45. Finn says:

    I totally get this. I’ve been struggling with my weight since I went into menopause. Maybe we’re both vain (I know for sure I am), but we all have to find our level of comfort with ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with that. And eating better, regardless of your weight, is always a good thing. :hug:

  46. Kathryn says:

    Nope. I think you are smart. Weight isn’t just about numbers. It is about how you feel and what you KNOW is healthy for you.
    I am in the same boat. If I told people how much I weight they would think it was great but I’m uncomfortable with it. I don’t fit in my clothes the way I used to. I just don’t feel as good. Do I want to be stick thin? NO way. But I do want to know that I am healthy and feel good in my own skin.
    Good for you!

  47. Krystle says:

    I understand completely where you’re coming from. Everyone has their own numbers THEY want to see on their scale. I may think 140 is perfectly skinny, but I’m 5’10″ and that’d be a DREAM weight for me. However, I’m significantly over that. Anyways, I have an ideal weight that I want to see and that’s 50-75lbs that I want to lose. Everyone looks at me funny… but, until they’re in our shoes, they don’t know what numbers look good, and what numbers don’t.

    So! I say, you go girl, good for you for wanting to better yourself and get back to the person you know you can be, physically. I too lost aboug 35 lbs since last August, however over the course of these past couple months, about 16 lbs have wracked back on. I got on the scale the other day and couldn’t face the numbers… I didn’t look. I’m getting married in 38 days I was supposed to be 75 lbs thinner by now, now I’m only about 20 lbs thinner than my all time high weight.

    Oh well, live and learn and good for you! I’m happy for you… You’re doing something good for yourself, and you deserve it… :heartbeat:

  48. DutchBitch says:

    My eyeballs are not rolling nor should anyone else’s as my theory is that everybody should work towards the weight THEY are comfortable with and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. And sure, there is always someone worse off, in any occassion… True… But if you are not comfortable being “so close to 140″ that is what is important.

    Hell, I have a g/f that can’t seem to put on weight. She seems perfect to me but she hates it and her body…

    And I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum… It’s just what makes you feel good and comfortable in a healthy way…

    That’s just what I wanted to tell you…

  49. ali says:

    i am just under 5’2 also…so i know exactly what those numbers mean.

    and i’ve struggled with my weight my entire life. and i LOVE this post. good for you for making the decision to NOT let your body get to where it was before! you are awesome!

  50. metalmom says:

    I looked in the mirror one day and wondered where my figure went…y’know, the one with the big,proud, firm boobs and the flat abs and great ass….

    Then I turned around and it seems that my daughter is wearing it. :crazywife:

  51. Mary Beth says:

    Good luck with everything. I know how difficult weight loss can be since I’ve been doing it since I was 2.

  52. I’m right here with you right now. Me, too. I feel you.

    (And you’re beautiful.)

    (And I’m especially proud of the quitting smoking thing.)

  53. Karl says:

    I get what you’re saying, babe. I have a good chunk of stomach to lose myself. Maybe I’ll lose it when I punch the fuck out of anyone that crosses me in the next month or so.

    Should we push the date back until Monday?

  54. NYCWD says:

    Mmmm… well I’m not going to say anything other than I support you in making you a better you in your eyes.

    Can I have your fries?

  55. Britt, I can totally see where you are coming from. Until I was in college, I had never hit 100 lbs! and now look at me! 167 lbs of insanity! (although I did lose 5 lbs, this week, it’s detailed in my post today, weird how we both wrote about our weight)

    But good on you for deciding to do what you feel is best for you. I know I am doing the same, only so I don’t get ulcers, but you get the drift….I just have the added bonus of weight loss….and I feel great knowing I might actually reach YOUR weight sometime soon!

  56. Bridget says:

    It might be vain, but I’m a constant scale watcher. I’ve never been anywhere close to being considered overweight, but it’s still a daily part of my life. But at the same time, I don’t let it rule my life. I work hard (running, biking, yoga) at least 4 times a week, so I can play hard. I don’t ever deprive myself of the foods I love because I know I don’t have the willpower. And that’s fine. I’ll have a cupcake (but I won’t have two), I’ll have a beer (OK, I’ll have 10 beers), etc. And I’m happiest this way. I could never give up carbs, but I could also never give up running. The high I get when I’m done with a good workout is better than anything. Do whatever it is that makes you happiest, and good luck with it.

  57. I totally get this. I am 5.6 1/2 and I weigh 140 and I am a little above my ideal weight. I knwo I’m not fat but I like to nip things in the bud before I get fat.

    Good luck to you!

  58. Still been thinking about the size difference and I think there must be a whole lot to be said for bone (or just general body) shape/structure. Because even when I weighed 119 I was a size 8. And my sister, who is the same height as me and weighs just over 100 (I think), wears a size 2. Obviously clothing size isn’t something to obsess about anyway – especially since there is no standard. ha ha!

  59. Sybil Law says:

    Okay – I know what you mean. It’s bad when the doctor’s nurse kind of gasps and says to you, ” 130 lbs!! You don’t look like you weigh that much!”, right? THAT was right after she told me I was only 5’2″- which is still hotly debated, because all my adult life, I have been 5’3″ and 3/4, and countless people have measured me since, and I have not shrunk! So not only is she saying I hide fat well, I am also shorter than I thought! (But she is a wrong bitch.) Anyway, I know what you mean – no one would call me fat, but I know where I am most comfortable, and if I could lose 20 lbs, about – I’d be perfect. Well – you know what I mean! :D

  60. Best of luck babe!! I know you can do it!

    (Sorry I sat all stalkerish on your page, I got distracted!!)

  61. Jenni says:

    Yes, you most definitely got the eye roll from ME. But, then I stopped to think about it for a minute. I weigh 45 pounds more than you, however– I am also 7 inches TALLER than you. So I have a feeling that while I am not a Size 6, we might be similar in build. A little bit. So I can relate.

    While you don’t fall into the category of being “overweight” (hell, people don’t even think I am overweight!) there is something to be said with our own individual comfort level. You feel more comfortable with your body being a certain size, and we can’t fault you for that. As long as its within the healthy range for your height, there’s nothing wrong with being happy with your SIZE *cough-fuck-you-cough* SIX bod.

    Good for you for staying healthy!

  62. What did I tell you about carbs? I just posted on this. If you eat carbs, you can simultaneously save the world!

  63. Mike says:

    I quit trying to lose weight a few years back. I’m trying to grow taller instead. My ideal height should be 7’9″.

    So far it works as well as dieting. ;-)

    (I’ll cheer you on!)

  64. Stephanie says:

    I agree with Jenni-individual comfort level is a HUGE part of it. If you can’t be comfortable in your skin where you are, and you’re looking to change it in a healthy manner, then go for it. :)

  65. You a shallow whore? Only if I am too.

    I’m 5’8″ and 140, which sounds perfect, except I’m a small frame, which means my tummy jiggles grossly when I walk naked to the shower. I have too much of a muffin top and if I don’t stop, that 145 would have gone to 150 and then who knows.

  66. Jenn says:

    Nothin’ like moving to the South to help you gain some weight. I took off my first 30 fried okra pounds a couple of years ago, and now they’re back. I’m a shawty, too, and better eating and exercise (plus less of that damned okra) would probably yield results in the 130 range. Here’s hoping. My plan is to try and get in shape for RABGRAI in the homeland next summer. Anyway, good luck!

  67. AmyD says:

    HAHAHAHA – NO cheesecake should go uneaten.

    THAT is my motto.

  68. TSM says:

    Oh Britt. I can’t imagine anyone would think that you’re vain for wanting to take back your body. And at 5’4″ and 203 lb, I know what you mean when you say it’s difficult to hide in a small frame. I know what not recognizing the face in the mirror feels like.

    I’m quitting smoking with you. I’m tired of it. And I started eating better about 15 lbs ago.

    We have to do this sometimes. Evaluate. Take action. Boycott the Golden Arches. For our own sake.

    I just love your heart! I’m going to post about it someday…mark my words…

  69. Good for you for getting healthy and staying healthy and realizing you were sliding and not feeling healthy any longer. I hope you make it. Like some of the other commenters have said, dieting and not smoking at the same time is going to be hard. So, just kick Adam in the nuts constantly and I’m pretty sure you’ll make it through.

    I’m proud of you!

  70. delmer says:

    I would never minimize anybody’s thoughts about their weight … but … coincidentally, 140 pounds is how much I’ve dropped since my hormones were tweaked back to normal-man levels. (And, because it’s important to me to say this, I dropped 100 of that before the ex dropped me.)

    Good luck. Especially with the smoking.

  71. Jay says:

    There are a lot of short chicks who comment here. Short chicks are hot.

    I totally support you and actually find this post to be rather inspiring. And I’m pretty uninspirable. Which may not even be a real word.

  72. Karen says:

    I am joining in on the quitting smoking on the 18th. If you two can do it, so can I.

    You are like the wind beneath my wings right now.

    And I am proud that you are taking back your body.

  73. Jennifer A. says:

    I can totally understand where you’re coming from. On the weight. Not on the smoking, I quit 12 years ago.
    While I’m not short, its no fun to look like your Czech great-grandmother. Lets say I have curves in places that shouldn’t, OK? All I need is a flowered dress and black boots and I’m all set.

  74. Hilly says:

    I hate it when I get here after 73 comments so I will just say this…

    You, woman, are strong enough to do whatever you set your mind out TO do. It’s your body and you make the rules!

  75. Jerri Ann says:

    I don’t know if the medication you are talking about is anti-depressants or not but..if so, know that they will cause weight gain and you will be wondering around thinking “man I feel so much better so why not have another piece of cake because I didn’t even feel like eating cake last month so now I”m gonna go ahead and have 2 pieces”.

    I just found out I have a thyroid disorder and diabetes and only after I bloomed to a weighty 224 pounds (which is too big on any woman unless….well I suspect unless she is a 6’5″ center in the women’s basketball league). But, I gained 34 pounds in the last year…where obviously 180 pounds was too much for me on my 5’5″ frame. But, it took me a year to convince a doctor and believe me, I tried 4 different ones but I finally convinced them that I had problems.

    The first 2 weeks of my new diabetic diet watching, my medication for diabetes and the meds for thyroid and I dropped 8 pounds. I haven’t worn a swimsuit in years that I bothered to take the swimsuit cover-up off of me.

    I told my husband last year when all this started that I didn’t want to be fat when my son started school. I am, he started kindergarten this week and his momma is the fat lady. I have a treadmill and it needed a new belt. Within days of getting the new belt put on it I found out I had mono and ended up in the hospital and then I was told no exercising of any kind until my follow up visit….in 3 freakin months.

    Either way, I’m feeling better and I’ve called to see if I can begin walking on my treadmill as long as I don’t try anything goofy. I mean, it isn’t like I’m gonna run and cause my spleen to explode because GAWD have you ever seen a 215 woman run?

    NO!

  76. whall says:

    “Damn near 40 lbs to be exact”

    Anyone have a dictionary they can lend Miss Britt?

  77. Bec says:

    The best thing about being unemployed and unemployable at the moment is is gives me lots of opportunities to exercise. I took one today and am now in pain. BUT I have to loose 150 lbs to be in the top end of ideal. I have to loose you plus. Oh God, I have to lose a person!?! I’m going back to the bike.

    Why did I have you taller in my head?

  78. HoosierGirl says:

    Can we diet buddies like you and Karl are no-smoking buddies? ‘Cause I need HELP!

    Good luck!

    J.

  79. Clearly you just want to be healthy and feel good about yourself. That’s A GOOD THING!

    I’m trying to lose weight right now, too.

    By the way, CONGRATULATIONS on deciding to quit smoking. I did that when I was 24 (6 years ago) and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for my health. You will not regret it, sister.

  80. I’m your height, so I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. 140 on a 6-foot person is thin. On us? Notsomuch.

    I know start to feel not so good when the scale inches in that direction. So I get this and I don’t find it vain or shallow at all.

    Good luck with quitting smoking and your diet!

  81. Tracey says:

    Having just hit the five month mark since I quit a 20 year smoking habit, I can tell you that you need to be careful not to set yourself up for failure for both things. I recomend focusing on no cigs and maintaining your weight (which in itself will be way hard) for at least the first 3 months. Once you get to comfort level in your smoke free lifestyle then go for some weight loss. You will be able to enjoy the feeling of your healing lungs when you excercise way more by then too.

  82. Steph says:

    Good for you! I’ve been there myself, only the “this has got to go” number was 202 pounds. I was tired of telling myself “but you’re six feet tall, you’re never going to be a size 2!”

    Well, sure. But at six feet tall I certainly had no reason to strive for a size 14 either.

    So I totally know where you are and I’m proud of you for making the committment to take your body back! Admit it… it’s kind of fun to field those It must be nice snarls. It means you’re looking damned good.

  83. Miss Britt says:

    Nat: could be – but I also know I haven’t stuck to my diet. At all.

    Lisa: he WAS – but, um, I moved it. LOL

    diva65: starting IS the hardest part – and I think what you’ve done so far is awesome!

    hello haha narf: brittinis were MADE for this diet!

    Kate: thank you!

    RW: mine is in my gut. And my ass. And my thighs. And.. well, you get the point.

    Crys: it all comes back to balance.

    Shash: I’m saving up, just in case!

    Robina: you can quit with us!

    Selma: yeah, I know it will be a bitch.

    Crys: you crack my shit up.

    Dawn: oh don’t worry – no diet in the world could take away the real. :wink:

    Poppy: I definitely still love me. But I really LIKE not ever having to worry about what my damn clothes look like too.

    Fantastagirl: ummm… no more cigarettes? Should I have more of a plan??

    Blog Antagonist: I think it’s harder when you HAVE gotten it off.

    radioactivegirltori: yeah, I really expected SOMEONE to be pissed off about the numbers. LOL The response has been better than I expected.

    Finn: absolutely, because I FEEL better when I’m not gorging on carbs too. Less tired, blah blah blah

    Kathryn: thank you!

    Krystle: yep, I think it is definitely a personal thing – no matter which side of the scale you find yourself on.

    DutchBitch: thanks sweetie.

    ali: it surprises me to hear you’ve struggled with your weight after seeing your pictures. I guess you just never know, huh?

    metalmom: :lol:

    Mary Beth: oh ouch. That’s a long damn time.

    maggie, dammit: as are you. :heartbeat:

    Karl: consider it pushed!

    NYCWD: and my buns!

    Cissa Fireheart: I’m glad you’re getting HEALTHY, whatever that means.

    Bridget: I know exactly what you mean by “daily part” but not “ruling your life”. Exactly.

    Don Mills Diva: it’s much, much easier to do before it gets out of control.

    Violet The Verbose: oh yeah, bone structure plays a big part.

    Sybil Law: honey, there is a difference between “more comfortable” and perfect. You are perfect, right now.

    sam {temptingmama}: lol, no problem – crazy stalker!

    Jenni: I LOVE the honesty and thought process of this comment. Thank you.

    Undomestic Diva: well then – WORLD BE DAMNED I SAY! heh

    Mike: I want a stretcher.

    Stephanie: it’s not that I’m not comfortable, but I know I can do better.

    Queen of Shake Shake: shallow whores unite!

    Jenn: it’s all the damn tortillas!

    AmyD: that reminds me – I need a piece.

    TSM: I am seriously blushing here. Gosh. Too sweet.

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter: and I won’t even warn him it’s coming!

    delmer: holy shit! Good for you!!

    Jay: really? Man, you just can never guess what people will find inspiring! (and thank you)

    Karen: YAY!!!!!!!

    Jennifer A.: stay away from the florals…

    Hilly: and yet, everything you say is always so awesome. Thanks babe.

    Jerri Ann: yep, anti-depressants. And bad diet.

    whall: I hate you.

    Shut up. I totally do. I know I’ve said I love you. But that was crap. CRAP I SAY! Crap.

    Bec: my big mouth must make people think I’m tall.

    HoosierGirl: Hellz yeah we can!

    Sarcastic Mom: you have been so inspiring and reminded me what I’d done before.

    The Gav Menagerie: thanks (and I need to put the batteries in my scale probably, huh?)

  84. Miss Britt says:

    Tracey: that’s excellent advice – and going back on a diet I haven’t abandoned all together is pretty much “maintenance” for me after this long.

    Steph: I don’t know, kind of. But also, kind of not. You know?

  85. I hear you. I’ve got a lot more weight to lose than that and I seriously don’t understand what it’s going to take to light a fire under this big ass of mine. I have some medical issues that make the weight harder to take off, but honestly, that’s an excuse…I just need to try harder, right? Good for you…I hope you can overcome both challenges!! Especially the smoking! I quit 11 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did!

  86. rachel says:

    Hell yes. Fantastic!
    I’m taking back myself. I’m 5’7″ and 10.
    But I want back in my 8′s.
    It’s about how we feel. Love this.
    Oh and yes, the Curry Chicken I posted on Blissfully Domestic can absolutely be eaten without the rice. It is quite delicious all by itself or even add it to a spinach and romaine heart salad. YUM!!
    Good luck, God Bless and I will be keepin up!!
    You did it once, you can do it again.

  87. Lisa says:

    I’m right there with you. I’m 5’4″ and small-boned. I’ve gained about 8 pounds this year which has made me go up a dress size and more. I’m determined to nip this trend in the bud. I recently got a wii fit, but it’s not the wonder cure I expected. It’s a good gimmick, but I don’t find it particularly effective as a workout tool. It takes too long to wait through the scoring portion of each exercise.

  88. Good luck!! Especially on the smoking cuz it will probably be the hardest but it will be the most beneficial for you. And your pocket book. I can’t believe the price these days hasn’t driven more folks to quit. Again Good luck!

    FMD

  89. Robin says:

    From someone who used to be 268 lbs, I get you, dear. Totally get you. While I am so jealous that you’re a size 6 (I will get there someday…or pretty damn close to it), you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin…and if that includes losing weight, do your thing!!

    ::goes back to eating salad::

  90. Matt-Man says:

    My girlfriend is 5’6″ and weighs 130 with a big pair of puppies to carry around and she still thinks she is fat. Damn, relax and enjoy life…a few pounds is nuthin’. Cheers!!

  91. Wildflower says:

    I agree completely with Hilly.

    I lost 20 pounds and 22 inches total over the course of a year. Yeah, I know that’s not a lot over a YEAR, but, I have hormone issues, a physical limitation and thyroid issues. So the fact that I was able to lose ANY – I was thrilled LOL

    Now, I have slacked some and need to get my head straight again.

    My highest weight was 215. That was when my thyroid up and DIED on me (quite literally)

    I’m 5’6″ and even though 165-ish give or take a few, is still considered “overweight” by govt standards, I would be fine with myself weighing between 160-170 for my low and high.

    175 was the weight I was 9 years ago when I met “Moose” He loved me at that weight, he loved me at my highest and he loves me where I am right now (which I don’t have a number for at the moment but I will call it “struggling, but still working!”)

    So you have to do what’s right for you, your life, your body. Screw what anyone else thinks. Even your doctors. They may or may not think the weight goal you set for yourself is “enough” but always do what you feel is best.

  92. I don’t want to quit smoking – not only would it harm the health of everyone around me, I just plain like it. (Shut up.)

    ANYway – I can relate to you, completely. I went my whole life being able to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. At 5’4”, I NEVER weighed more than 110 lbs – other than when I was pregnant with my son. Even then, by the time my six week check up came around, I weighed LESS than I did when I got pregnant.

    Now, all of the sudden over the last three years, my body started giving me the finger – I’ve got more jiggle than Bill Cosby’s desert.

    Post Baby No. 2 I am finally down to 130. I can deal with that number – but not the size 11 pants (though – to be fair, I haven’t made myself venture over to the “misses” section yet). After a csection – I have NO abs, whatsoever. I am a jiggly mess, all over. And the worst sentence in the entire effing world?! “Oh my gosh – you look so great for having two kids.” Gee thanks.

    ANYway – now that you know all of that stupid ass bullshit – I tell you this : I support you in this endeavor….I’d love to join you on this – not because I want to lose weight, like I said, I can handle the number but I’d really love to not jiggle so much. However, I am much too lazy and I’d rather jiggle while eating Ben & Jerry’s than to be able to bounce a quarter off my butt while I eat a salad.

    But KUDOS to you for not being a lazy bitch like me.

  93. Delite says:

    I’m right there with you, I quit smoking and gained 20lbs..akkk!!

    Found out my employer started a program with this program get active and win stuff!! I like that idea!!

  94. Jessica says:

    Never smoked but the weight thing has been an issue I’ve been dealing with on and off for the past 20 years. I’m 5’9″ and I need to lose about 60 pounds. When things are going really good I’d keep it off, when things were harder, I gained it. I understand the “why” behind it now I have to figure how to deal with it and get a grip on things. I’m doing weight watchers now, it works, did it before and it worked. I’m losing it slowly, I’m coming up on nearing 40 and I don’t want this annoyance to stick with me for the rest of my life. Time to be “free”. I’ve got no kids or anything to hold me back, just me–sometimes I am my own worst enemy. All I want is to feel good and look good–not for anyone else, just me.

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