How To Win Friends And Influence People On The Internet

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Way back before the world blew up, I quickly wrote a post and asked you guys for your thoughts about blogging.

And you came out of the woodwork like a swarm of locusts! Or something.

To recap, I asked you:

“Do you ever read a blogger who never reads you? If so, how do you feel about that?

Do you ever feel like there is someone you’d like to connect with – but they seem inaccessible? Do you ever perceive an “inner circle” online that you want to be a part of?”

You were generous enough to tell me your thoughts. Naturally, I have a few of my own.

Personally, I read a ton of bloggers who don’t read me.

Some of them I read every day and never say a word. Some of them I comment on occasionally, even if that means my comment is one in 153 gazillion. And some of them I comment on every damn day like a crazy stalker because we are soul mates even if they don’t know it yet. (Seriously, we should make out. (Even though I am clearly lying about the commenting every day bit. Heh.))

The thing is, I read those blogs in the same way that I read books. I don’t care if the author never knows I exist. It’s not about me. (I am a lying whore.) It’s about them and what they write and the fact that I just really, really enjoy it.

Of course, bloggers are not (for the most part) best selling authors. I get that.

One of the main reasons that bloggers start blogging in the first place, as opposed to actually writing a book is because we value the instant gratification of feedback. We love comments. We build relationships. We don’t just write books that end up on shelves read by strangers (because we TOTALLY COULD IF WE WANTED TO!), we reach out and connect with one another and build communities.

I know this better than anyone. I have leaned on the Internets in all sorts of unhealthy ways. Hell, I met my boss through blogging.

So, while I continue to read bloggers that I don’t have any kind of personal relationship with, I also appreciate the value of being the kind of blogger that people can connect with.

That was a hell of a lot easier when Adam and Amy were the only people reading my blog.

I don’t want to get all I Am The Queen Of The Internet on you, because clearly I am not. But there are also anywhere from 300 to 600 people a day reading this crap. And 300 people? That’s an entire assload (it’s an official measurement, look it up) of people to try to *connect* with. I have trouble finding the time to talk to my four siblings on their birthdays a regular basis.

What’s my point?

(Besides, I mean, making myself sound like a grandiose ass and illustrating once again that I am a shitty friend?)

My point, dear reader, is this:

I am so, so stinking glad you are here. Yes, you. You will never in a million years hear me say “I have enough friends, thanks”, because there is no such thing as enough friends. There is always room for one more at this table. (Unless you’re a douche bag. The douche bag table is over there.) In fact, that is one of the reasons that I try to respond to every single comment right here on this blog.

Please do not let the fact that a blogger might already seem to have an “established” group of friends deter you from reaching out to them. Hell, I’m sharing a hotel room in less than 4 weeks with three people that I’d never even talked to a few short months ago.

BUT…

Be patient. Be realistic. The fact that you drop by someone’s place and comment does not necessarily mean that they will run over to your place and start commenting back immediately. You might not be BFFs in a month even if you really, really like them. Relationships online build over time, just like they do offline.

And they require you to put yourself out there a little bit. Say hi. Introduce yourself. BE yourself. And understand that if it takes someone a little while to return the favor it may just be because they’ve got their own shit going on right now (as opposed to OMG YOU THINK I AM A DORK AND YOU HATE ME! DON’T YOU?!?!).

In other words, I am not ignoring you and I love that you comment and please don’t stop commenting just because I haven’t been a good blogger lately and I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings and I’ll try to do better I promise I promise I promise because I so get that you just want to be LOVED and I so love meeting new people and I am sure we will get along FAMOUSLY as soon as I am able to pull my head out of my ass and I could have saved us all a lot of time and rambling if I had just said THAT.

The. End.

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  1. avitable says:

    So you’re just saying that you comment on my posts because you feel sorry for me, aren’t you?

  2. If I could append this to the bottom of my latest “Debunking internet celebrity” post, I would. Perfect.

    And… I read you. And I never comment.

    Also? I was fairly sure you’d never heard of me. Then you commented and I thought, “Ah, I bet she has been loving me long time.”

    And no, I didn’t mean to write “loving me a long time.” There’s a difference and you know it, baby.

  3. David says:

    I read your site and I’m not sure that you read/view mine. That goes for many other sites I visit as well though :)

    Just glad to have met you randomly on Twitter so that I now have the opportunity to read your thoughts. Not sure I would have found you and your site had it not been for the misfortune of Parkersburg.

  4. Sheila says:

    You know, there are a lot of blogs that I stalk regularly, but don’t comment on because I don’t want the author to feel obligated to come visit my blog or respond to my comment. And, in the same breath, I somehow wish they would magically know I am there and float over to my blog and say hello…

    Yeah, I know there is a flaw in that logic.

  5. Hilly says:

    Is assload bigger than shitload or vice versa? I never was any good at my Algebra.

    In any case, brava! Everyone has to put in the effort to be blog buddies and yeah, sometimes it takes me longer to get to blogs of people that I don’t know but I WILL get there. I mean hell, you are the Queen of the Internets and I am the Princess of Blogistan and it took us what…like forever to be friends?

  6. Mamacita says:

    I read your blog every day but I don’t think you knew that. You do now, though.

    I met my boss through blogging, too.

    AND, next month at BlogHer I’m sharing a hotel bed (no, not like that!) with another blogger I’ve never really met before, but who I adore because I know her well through her blog and she’s wonderful.

    I think you are pretty cool, yourself.

  7. Mary says:

    Holy crap. You love me! When the comment I left for you trying to tell you that Prince was gonna be in town, 20 minutes away never showed up, I thought…rejected! And here I was going to invite you to stay!
    I don’t have a blog,I’ll never have a blog. But I’ll try to be a better commenter.

  8. WAH! I didn’t mean to be whiny! And I love you, and I’m totally cool if you don’t read me. I just wanted you to know that you were totally my blog crush!
    Even though you have commented a few times now and it like totally made my day! :clap:
    xo

  9. Dave2 says:

    I wish I had time to comment on blogs more than I do… I absolutely wish I had more time to respond to comments on my own blog that people are kind enough to leave… but it’s sometimes hard enough just to READ all the blogs I follow. Oh well. I try to get around to everybody as often as I can.

  10. Connie says:

    I suspect this is from some sort of internet drama? I love reading blogs. I don’t have one of mine own. I very rarely comment. Time is a huge factor, but also, I just like to read.

  11. Andria says:

    My goal of reading your blog is to one day beat Avitable to the first comment. :evil:

  12. Tori Blaine says:

    now that I live in the middle of no-where, I’ve kind of gotten lax on commenting, because when I lived in the Bay Area, I thought “hey, I might meet these people some day”… since I’ve been here, I’ve been busy and fallen into reading from google reader more, instead of visiting blog pages, and commenting less, just because I’ve lost hope of making a “con” of any sort… I need to shake that thought process and get back to just commenting when I feel I have something to contribute…

  13. Poppy says:

    Did I miss the part where you explained why Fab is a douchebag? :cheese:

  14. Jen says:

    I often times feel funny about leaving comments on blogs that I read (umm, case in point? yous) because I don’t want anyone to think that I’m commenting just so that you’ll come and read my blog. It sounds silly, I know, but I just want to be so clear that my comment is just a comment and not a beg for attention that I often end up not commenting at all. I don’t know, it’s goofy

  15. Karl says:

    Well said. I’m incredibly approachable, even though I am a bit of a blogging god. *snort*

  16. NYCWD says:

    I suck at commenting on other blogs.

    Really. Totally. Suck.

    One of the problems is the amount of time I have is far less considering the amount of feeds I read… and I hate being all, “What (INSERT NAME) said!” I’d rather leave one comment and put some thought into it with an original voice, than comment every day with thoughtless drivel.

    Oh, and I :heartbeat: Pioneer Woman. She rocks.

  17. Steve says:

    Jesus Christ!!! I’m sorry I don’t comment more! I will try to do better! ;)

    FWIW, I would comment more but I read all my blogs on my phone and typing comments like this is a real pain on the ass. Doesn’t mean I don’t care! :-)

  18. Mr. Fabulous says:

    I am kind of curious as well as to why I am a douchebag.

    Please explain.

  19. Y says:

    But! I do read your blog! I’m just kind of a jerk about commenting. (only because I don’t ever know what to say.)

    (See? Even this comment is lame.)

    (I blame my thyroid!)

  20. wtfroflmfao says:

    I read this (and many other blogs) every day but I rarely comment. In fact, I’m a sucky commenter and I feel weird sometimes commenting on a blog that I haven’t developed a relationship with that blogger. Which is totally fucked because how can I form a relationship without the commenting?

    Sometimes, I feel like I don’t belong or I’ll never fit in the inner circle, etc. But I am always here and there and over there.

    I also suck at responding on my comments because I, well, because um, I suck at that too.

    And how the hell do I get 300 visitors a day? What, did you put out an ad? I’m so gel-ass.

    xoxo Me

  21. Selma says:

    I try to comment as much as I can on all the blogs I read but sometimes I do miss a few here and there. It’s a time thing. Everyone gets that. You’ve had a LOT going on as well. Don’t be too hard on yourself. :heartbeat:

  22. Greeneyezz says:

    I sometimes read but don’t always comment.
    I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
    I also think that blogging should be only one aspect of a person’s life; not their entire life. If one has ‘built their life’ around their blog, commenting on other blogs, getting people to comment on theirs, etc. etc, it *defeats* the whole purpose of a blog….
    To tell about your life!

    ~ZZ

  23. A-freaking-men, chica. To the making out part. And the other part too. I have people who email me and say they don’t leave comments after the 30th one because I won’t read that far but the truth is that my administrator page of my blog work backward so I always see all the comments and seriously love every one. Even the moderately insulting ones. Actually, especially the moderately insulting ones. I never have a chance to go back and comment on everyone’s page but I totally go and check it out and read a LOT without commenting. I’m a big lurker. I wonder if Dooce is a lurker?

    What was my point? Sorry, still drunk from last night.

    PS. I could comment here more if you weren’t blocked for being porn at my work. Could you call my work and explain why you aren’t porn?

  24. Dee says:

    Hye, I never have ANYTHING new on my blog, and i still feel that we would be bloody great freidns. I have ahd a shitload of alcohol tonight (is that how you spell slcohol?) and there’s love. Ohhell is there love :)

    So yes. Tha’ts it. Yes.

  25. Em says:

    I read and comment on blogs that I find entertaining/interesting… not because I’m hoping for reciprocal comments or because someone comments on mine.

    It would be impossible for you to comment regularly on every single blogger’s blog that comments here.

  26. amy says:

    I agree with you-

  27. marni says:

    I read every day – may not comment, but I’m here.

    Next time you come thru the ATL you should give me a holler… we could meet for drinks, lunch, dinner, or just a friendly wave.

  28. metalmom says:

    “Douchebag” HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!

    “Is assload bigger than shitload or vice versa? I never was any good at my Algebra.”

    Hilly asks an important question. I hope you do the research and get back to us with an answer!

  29. catnip says:

    I read lots of bloggers that don’t read mine. It’s just not that important. If I like someone’s post and I have something to add, I comment, regardless of how big they are. If they happen to come over to mine and comment back it’s very flattering, but I don’t expect it. I have wicked BlogHer envy though, because I’d love to actually meet some of the people I’ve gotten to know.

  30. Miss Britt says:

    avitable: only on the days that it sucks.

    Velveteen Mind: hahahahahaha – well, I will say that your stupid feed or my stupid reader seem to have an on again off again relationship.

    But OMG YOU ARE MEGAN!! YOU ARE LIKE… INTIMIDATING AND FAMOUS!!! Everyone has heard of you, right?

    :nana: :heartbeat:

    David: it’s funny how we stumble on people sometimes, isn’t it?

    Sheila: and then there is this one – which you comment on regularly and I almost ALWAYS fail to actually leave a comment on your site. And yet, I feel like I “talk” to you regularly because of this site and twitter. Weird, huh?

    Hilly: well, we did have a lot of royal duties to attend to. So that’s understandable.

    Mamacita: and are you going to the People’s Party?? I won’t be at BlogHer (unless I win the Lottery between now and then or something), but if I were – I hear that is the pre-party to be at!

    Mary: I’m sorry – Prince?!?!?! I did not get an email about PRINCE?!?!

    And seriously, I respond to ALL my email. Even if there is no Prince.

    Princess of the Universe: oh no, LOL, I was thinking about some of this loonnnng before that! You weren’t being whiny at all. It’s understandable. And *I* just feel bad that it takes me for freaking ever to get to know people sometimes.

    Dave2: only so many hours in the day and all that. And I think you comment wayyy more than I do.

    Connie: nope, no Internet drama. Just the ridiculous crap I think about in the shower.

    Andria: heh. Good luck with that.

    Tori Blaine: well you’ve been busy and adjusting and stuff. I think that’s natural, ya know?

    Poppy: Fab isn’t a douchebag at all!!

    I just thought he’d appreciate a few being sent his way. :cheese:

    Jen: actually, I do get that. Sometimes I read something that really resonates with me and I want to say SOMETHING that says “I GOT THIS MAN!” – but all that comes out is some stupid “me too, I was here” comment.

    And then I feel like a tool.

    Karl: some people are uncomfortable about approaching people with no pants.

    NYCWD: yep, that’s me too. I probably only comment on 1/10th of the blogs I read.

    Steve: what?!?!

    NOooooo – I was saying it’s OK if you don’t comment because I don’t either but if you do that’s awesome, just don’t be pissed if it takes me a while to return the favor.

    Because I TOTALLY get the iPhone comment – pain. in. the. ass.

    Mr. Fabulous: who said you were a douchebag??

    I just thought you’d be better equipped to deal with any that might come your way.

    Damn. This joke TOTALLY flopped. I knew I should have just linked it to Avi.

    Y: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

    Ah, see? Case in point! I would read you whether you commented here or not. And I think it’s totally cool that you do read and am not offended AT ALL that you don’t usually comment.

    Of course, it’s probably just because I feel sorry for you and that thyroid.

    wtfroflmfao: I’ve been blogging for like 2 years. I think that’s pretty much “how”.

    Selma: I can always tell when you’re behind because you comment on like 4 days worth of posts at once.

    Greeneyezz: because if we stopped living our lives – WHAT WOULD WE BLOG ABOUT?!?!

    Jenny, Bloggess: yeah, I get my comments via email. So I read and grin at everyone – even if they don’t get a personal email or something.

    I think I’m going to go the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” route and just actually become porn.

    Dee: you had that tiger picture up for like 6 months on your blog. LOL

    Em: I think that makes it more honest too, don’t you?

    amy: about me being a grandiose ass? or super amazingly AWESOME!?!?

    marni: I’m sure I’ll be in ATL again. Hopefully not just on a drive-by!

  31. Miss Britt says:

    metalmom: assload is bigger. A shitload can actually fit inside an assload.

    Now you know.

    catnip: me too. I was hoping it’d be in the cards for me this summer but it’s just not going to work out.

  32. kapgar says:

    You love me! You really love me!

    I read a handful that I know don’t read me, but for the most part they are celeblogs or big name bloggers that I wouldn’t expect to read me. Just happens. Sometimes, I wind up unsubscribing to them and it doesn’t feel bad at all when I do that because I know they’re not hurting at all.

  33. Hallie says:

    You mean we can’t all just post a blog and expect hundreds and hundreds of people to find us and comment? :)

    Damn…that was my plan!

    Hallie
    http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

  34. Lucy says:

    Very well said Britt. I suck, BIG time at commenting, ask any of the Terror Quadruplets, they’ll tell ya. But I read, I feed stalk, I want to know what’s going on.

  35. B.E. Earl says:

    I made it through all those links and didn’t get rick-rolled once. Thanks! :wink:

  36. I’m a lurker commenter. I look at what’s going on before I just jump into the kool-aid.

    :poke:

  37. Kate says:

    I love that you took time to say that.
    No other blog I’ve ever read, has said anything close.

    You rock!

  38. Willie G says:

    It’s not easy being an egomaniacal, narcissistic, attention starved, socially challenged INTROVERT!!!

    I am therefore I blog.

    Damn are you psychic? If you didn’t read my thoughts maybe you could read my blog.. :blush:

  39. Poppy says:

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh. That makes so much more sense now.

    My jokes flop every day, if that makes you feel any better.

  40. Mindy says:

    See.. this is why I like coming to your side of the blogosphere… You keep it real. You say what you feel and think and I admire you for that. So… maybe in a year or so you’ll hop on over to my place and visit me! :lmao:

  41. Winter says:

    When I don’t comment on a blog it’s usually because someone else has already said what I was thinking. I should probably just drop a “Ditto what Adam said” on those blogs. (Lately, his comments are eerily similar to mine on assorted blog posts. Altho, I’m not sure I should admit that publically.)

  42. Lady Jaye says:

    I read loads of blogs that don’t comment me and I’m ok with that. I like to get comments, I like to think that some of what I write is funny or meaningful but if no one comments I don’t roam the streets naked and screaming at the world.

  43. I read a ton of blogs that I don’t comment on. I really don’t think comments should be an obligation, but when I have something to say, I say it. Sometimes, if it has been a while since I left a comment, I leave one even when I don’t have anything to say just to say hi and let the person know I am still reading. Because I am sure they were tearing out their hair wondering (kidding…I don’t actually believe the world revolves around me).

  44. Bloggy smooches to you, too!

  45. Special K says:

    OMG YOU THINK I AM A DORK AND YOU HATE ME! DON’T YOU?!?! lolololol

    Ahem, by the way, it TOTALLY got the douchebag joke.

  46. Jay says:

    Sometimes I don’t comment on a blog because I just can’t think of anything worth saying. Or because I disagree with what they are saying and don’t want to be rude so I don’t say anything.

  47. Crys says:

    aw, you love me, you really really LOVE me

  48. Steve says:

    Britt,

    I understand what you’re getting at. I was just being dramatic. I don’t get very many comments on my blog, but I get about 100 people cruising through each day. I don’t know who they are, but appreciate them nonetheless.

    IPhone and google reader is a formidable blog reading combination. But if I leave comments, the auto-correcct inevitably makes me look like some combination of illiterate and insane.

  49. i love you even when you don’t comment.

    although i will totally admit that i love you a wee bit more when you comment on my thursday boob pictures. hehe

    :heartbeat:

    (this was a very sweet post, by the way. we are all busy and understand that comments can’t be left daily, but it was still awesome of you to say. honestly, i don’t know how you do it with a husband and two kids on top of a full time job! sheesh.)

  50. Steph says:

    Totally. Like, yes. I agree. Dude.

    …even if you have yet to realize that you and I? Should be like, bff who should make out in a totally respectful show of like, respect and stuff. Which is to say, that I would like, make out with you. But because I like your blog and not because I’m lesbian. ‘Cause I’m not.

  51. Tiffany says:

    “OMG YOU THINK I AM A DORK AND YOU HATE ME! DON’T YOU?!?!).”

    That was what I was TOTALLY thinking. LOL And yes I’m a newbie but I THINK I’m cool enough and not a douche bag to read your blog. HAHA

    And I love your blog and will continue to read it even if you hate me. Just don’t write that in a post. I don’t think I could handle it.

  52. ajooja says:

    I’m a feedreader. I don’t physically visit a blog unless I’m going to comment (and I’m not a very good commenter).

    I read your blog everyday. I don’t remember when I started but I knew about you long before I actually started reading.

  53. AmyD says:

    I have to say… I don’t care. Do not care.

    Why do I not care? Because, I have a cold and I am grumpy and pissy and my nose hurts and I can’t breathe and I’m getting hot flashes and cold flashes and those awful cold sweats.

    Were I healthy and feeling like myself, I would totally care and tell you this was a great post. Even if you are clearly sucking up to the entire internet.

    :poke:

  54. Andria says:

    Jay: “Or because I disagree with what they are saying and don’t want to be rude so I don’t say anything.”

    Yeah, that. Because if you just so happen to state your opinion, then you end up with a hoard of people coming back to your blog, and leaving comments about what a fucking asshole you are, and how dare you mess with their beloved blogger.

  55. avitable says:

    AmyD, are you sure it’s a cold and not . . . I don’t know . . . a hangover??

  56. AmyD says:

    Avi I AM NOT HUNG OVER ASSHOLE!

    You… you… just pin a rose on your nose.

    :crazywife:

  57. AmyD says:

    And… I do have a cold. Call me, I’ll totally blow my nose in your ear. :cry:

  58. Shelli says:

    You know, I used to feel guilty when I couldn’t get around to blogs because of work or life or whatever (okay, I still do feel guilty sometimes), but now I just realize that people get that. The people who like/love you will come read you when their lives aren’t busy because of work or life or whatever. And even if they don’t, they will connect with you on Gtalk or Facebook or Twitter or text or whatever. Those are the bliends that I love. I have people who read and comment on my blog regularly that I hardly ever read and those are the ones that I feel guilty about. :cry: There just needs to be more time in the day.

  59. Miss Britt says:

    kapgar: but if you leave me I would cry. Because we are TIGHT like that!

    Hallie: well, not within the first – I don’t know – decade? I’m still waiting to find that out myself. lol

    Lucy: and you can tell that in little ways, ya know? I get that too. Totally.

    B.E. Earl: oh MAN! What a missed opportunity!

    Blondefabulous: I’ve always been a jump first ask questions later girl. I’m wise like that. Heh.

    Kate: really????

    Willie G: I am, actually, psychic.

    That will be $20 please.

    Poppy: it doesn’t, actually – because I hurt his feelings on accident. :cry:

    Mindy: keepin’ it real. Yo. That’s me.

    Winter: I try to distance myself from Adam publicly as much as possible.

    But that’s just me.

    Lady Jaye: you should try that screaming naked in the streets thing actually. It’s a great stress buster.

    radioactivegirltori: no, because you know the world revolves around ME.

    Right??

    A Whole Lot of Nothing: I need a smoochy smiley.

    Special K: thank GOD someone did.

    Jay: I want disagreements here!!!

    Crys: I love you times ten baby.

    Steve: what the iPhone needs is a way where you can dictate your comments, emails, etc. to it. That would be awesome.

    hello haha narf: you are so easily swayed to the sweet side.

    Steph: *snort*

    Tiffany: cool enough to read my blog?

    Oh my. That is awesome. There needs to be like a test or something. LOL

    ajooja: “I knew about you long before I actually started reading.”

    This frightens me. And also? Don’t believe a WORD you hear about me!!!

    AmyD: I am not sucking up! I am just naturally this thoughtful and awesome! :angel:

    Andria: if that EVER fucking happens here, I want to know about it.

    Ask Adam. I don’t take kindly to people “defending my honor”.

    Unless it’s warranted, of course. :D

    Shelli: I think your guilt organ is enlarged anyway.

  60. Poppy says:

    Misunderstanding.

    Forgiveness.

    Stronger friendship.

    :hug:

    Win-win!

  61. Shelli says:

    That is one of the truest statements I have ever heard. :lol:

  62. Dazd says:

    If I commented on all the blogs I read daily, I’d never get through the blogroll.

  63. J.O. says:

    This so weird. I was thinking the other day about asking you a couple questions and hoping you would post something similiar to those questions so I could ask. One of those was answered with this post. That would be how do you deal with the people that comment here that you don’t read? Does anyone actually ever say they are offended by that? Last question, does it creep you out even a little to know that so many people that you don’t know follow you here and on twitter?
    Now my comment to your post: I know that people have lives away from here and don’t have time to read and comment to everyone that reads them. I also know that while we might have a very deep thought provoking conversation one on one, my blog isn’t either of those. I don’t comment everything I read because usually I just don’t have anything new to bring to the table and other’s say my thoughts so much better.

  64. Internet blogging guilt. We women can’t get away from it, can we? I used to be so good about commenting, but you go through phases where there’s just stuff going on. At times, it feels like people are pulling at you from all directions, especially when the 24 yr old male from Guyana emails to ask you to be his friend and soul mate and stuff.

    Whenever you stop by, I’m honored. And if you don’t have time, I get it. Totally.

  65. TSM says:

    See, usually I will just lurk because everyone has already said all the witty things I could have come up with. And there’s so much LURRRVE here already! You don’t need me!

  66. Just Me says:

    I don’t even have a blog but I read yours, adams, amys, dawgs and poppy’s religiously. I also read a few others but not every day. And I don’t comment often either. Do you still like me??? :heartbeat:

  67. Poppy says:

    You do???

    Awwwww!!!

  68. Comments aren’t the only reward, I love being on people’s feed reader even if they don’t comment regurarly, also linky love is nice. Just getting on a blogroll over at a blog with tons of readers is good too, it means the possibility of more readers for you!

    To me writing is about expression (If I didn’t get it out I would explode), it is about relating to others and it is about fun. Getting all butt hurt cause someone didn’t respond to your comment or comment you back is just silly…

  69. Just Me says:

    Poppy….I do…..I have grown to love all of you through your words. And after following you through Tequilacon, I read some of the others…but like I said…you five…its what I do when I get to work in the morning….I get my coffee and I sit at my desk and read the 5 blogs and if I have time during the day, I will read others.

  70. Penelope says:

    Assload is my new favourite word!
    Fantastic post – plenty to ponder over a glass of wine :martini:

  71. Jennifer says:

    Can I just copy this and write it on my blog?!

    Not really.

    But! You said exactly what I’ve been trying to tell people who comment at my place. I love them, but I cannot read, nor comment EVERY DAY.

    Loved this.

  72. Dragon says:

    Do you love me? :love: If you do, you can come over and have some cake. Just posted a yummy recipe.

  73. Poppy says:

    @Just Me: While you drink your morning coffee??? Awww! Well, thank you for considering me one of the must reads

  74. Miss says:

    There are sooo many blogs that I read and dont comment on. For the very same reasons you listed. Your’s is one of them. I dont know why I dont comment. It’s not that I dont agree with most of your posts. I dont think its an intimidation issue either. Maybe its the fact that I am comment 75 (or around there)? Maybe its the fact that I think you probably have plenty of blogs to read so why bother with mine? Gah! So many internal struggles here. I need this – :martini:

  75. Robina says:

    Ha Ha Ha! LOVE this! And ya know, I use the term “shitload” a LOT, and now I know it’s a real measurement??? Do you know how happy that makes me? Of course, I didn’t look it up. I believe you. I mean, why would you lie?? I read you cause you know all!

    Damn girl. Really? 300 a day just reading???? I would say that could qualify you as Queen of Blogland.

  76. HoosierGirl says:

    Does this mean you’re going to start commenting on my blog? :peace:

    Have a nice day. :cheese:

    J.

  77. DCup says:

    I use an RSS feed and have a slow connection so sometimes I’m unable to comment on a lot of the blogs that I’d love to interact on. I love that you comment back to your commenters. It’s a way of saying “thank you for being here.”

  78. Dawn says:

    You NEVER read my blog!!! I know that you don’t!!! Bitch!!!!

    Oh. Um.

    I don’t have a blog.

    Never mind. :)

    I read your blog every single morning. And in return, I always get a laugh or something to think about or something in between.

    And later in the day, at the end of my work day, I’ll sometimes come back and read it again. Because I’m more awake and relaxed. And sometimes I’ll comment then.

    But, dammit, you never read MY blog! Or comment.

    Oh yeah, I still don’t have a blog.

    And, in case you can’t tell, I love your blog. Do you love mine? Oh, I don’t have one. Yeah.

  79. I am another one of those out here but not always commenting. But yes, I was pretty sure you were doing the same with my blog. I mean, who isn’t, really?

  80. Dawn says:

    Oh, and I’ve been meaning to ask, how DO you respond to all your comments??? I mean, you need a secretary to keep up!

    This might be why I don’t have a blog — because I’d have soooo many comments, I would always be so far behind… :rolleyes:

  81. All I know is that this week? You’ve been an angel and I’ll always remember that. The best thing I ever did was read your blog and hang with you and Avitable for lunch back in December.

  82. Fantastagirl says:

    I read, don’t always comment, because what I’m going to say has already been said… but I read.

    and I :heartbeat: pioneer woman – she is an awesome read!

  83. Laura says:

    I lurve you and Adam and Amy to bits – and I always associate the three of you together, and read you in order one right after the other because you “go together” in some warped and twisted way in my mind. I am kind of jealous, though, that you can’t keep up with your comments… I surely can, because I’ve never had more than a dozen associated with a single post at any given time. But those loyal readers? I love ‘em to BITTY BITTY BITS. So, I totally get it, Britt.

  84. Miss Britt says:

    Poppy: that seems to be going around these days.

    Shelli: second only to “GOOGLE ME!”

    Dazd: me neither.

    Oh. Wait. I NEVER make it all the way through the feedreader. And I sooo need to upgrade my blogroll.

    J.O.: like I said via email – I am oblivious. I would make the perfect reality TV show star.

    Black Belt Mama: I love that you use the word “honored”.

    And phases. I am so a phase kind of girl.

    TSM: see, that’s just not true. Everyone brings their own special brand.

    Especially you!

    Just Me: yes. And you also forward me emails like a crazy woman. And I STILL love you.

    Dirty Laundry Diva: ugh. My blogroll is sooo not an accurate reflection of my feedreader. Unfortunately. :-(

    Penelope: use it frequently. And give me credit every time. :D

    Jennifer: I’m glad I’m not the only one. I really don’t know how some people do it.

    Dragon: why are you trying to kill me? Hmmm?

    Miss: just so you know, on most blogs when you leave a comment the blogger gets an email. So even the ones who DON’T comment on the site probably read it.

    Which isn’t to say you have to comment. Just know you’re probably heard.

    Robina: and if anyone gives you shit about it, you tell them I said to suck it.

    HoosierGirl: I tell you what – I’m definitely going to try to be better about it. Deal?

    DCup: that’s how I feel when I read it on my phone. It just takes too fucking long to get there and comment that way.

    Dawn: I am mooning you. Right. NOW.

    Ok, Where Was I?: yep – exactly!

    Dawn: how do I keep up? It takes like 10 minutes. LOL

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter: I hope you know how much I adore you. Really and truly sweetheart.

    And I’m not above kicking someone’s ass for you. I don’t care WHO they are related to. :whosnext:

    Fantastagirl: and she takes AWESOME pictures.

    Laura: that’s funny that you lump us together. I think someone called us a three headed monster once. LOL

  85. Dragon says:

    Not trying to kill you, hun. Just trying to make your life a little sweeter. After the week you had last week, you deserve a little sweetness. :hug:

  86. cajunvegan says:

    I’m a long time reader and a first time commenter.

    I lurk until I have something I cannot hold back.

    Today, I just wanted to say that you are awesome. That is all.

  87. andi says:

    Excellent post. The whole perception of there being cliques in the blogosphere is getting so tiresome. I mean, c’mon people! We do have lives outside of the computer. Just because I don’t comment on your site every day or post every day or whatever, doesn’t make me a stuck-up bitch who won’t let you into her Cool Kid Club (ha ha ha – sorry, just laughing at the thought of me ever being allowed in a Cool Kid Club).

  88. Crystal says:

    I come. I just don’t say a lot. And this is completely stupid, but I don’t answer comments, really…however, if you email me, I’ll email back if it takes me 2 months to get to it. That sounds so backward, but it’s more personal to me and I feel badly if I answer one comment and not all of them, so I just don’t.

    I just suck at communication, really. That’s probably why I have 2 friends. And one of them is my husband.

  89. I find the politics of this blogging thing funny and frustrating at the same time.

    What can any of us do but play the politics of commenting, answering, visiting commenters, etc when we can. But gosh, we’re allowed a life outside of the blog world too.

    Great post!

  90. Wendy says:

    OMG. I am a lurker. I love to read you. You express so many of the same kinds of fears and problems and pains in the ass that I go thru every day! And I don’t comment cause like OMG. What if I sound stupid? What if noone wants to hear from me cause I don’t have a blog? OMG. I’ll just keep reading and not saying anything. But when your inlaws lost everything last week, I found myself listening to the news and worrying because Iowa was getting more rain (I’m originally from St. Louis – not that far away.) And OMG she might think I’m stalking her now. But I’m really not. I love reading your blog, and you rock. It makes me laugh to know that someone else has to deal with a retarted husband. And kids. Geez. Kids. And the working mother stress. But you rock. Even when you suck up to the internet!!!

  91. Lynda says:

    I actually always get a little surprised when someone comments that rarely or never comments. I guess I don’t think of the people who are just reading.

    I use to comment on every post I read.

    Now, sometimes, I just read it for what the post is, and don’t say anything at all.

    Of course, that isn’t the case with this post.

  92. Patti Cake says:

    I’ve only commented once but I read you regularly. I really enjoy your writing style and your personality. However, not enough time in the day to always write something worthwhile.

    The comments are nice validation for the time and effort we put into our blogs but most people don’t comment at all.

  93. Anonymous says:

    Hi. Its Kat, your occasional stalker. I think you are cool. I like your blog. I read you like a book. I don’t think that you think that I’m a retard or that you hate me. I’d be kinda surprised if you’d ever been over to my place. Doesn’t make my enjoyment of your life any less. I’m just glad you write it. Word.

  94. Kat says:

    Possibly the reason you may have never been over to my place is because I am retarded, and forget to fill in my name and website. Now I definitely think that you think I’m a dork. But I’m okay with that. What the hell. Its true.

  95. Miss Britt says:

    Dragon: awwwwww, well when you put it THAT way… :hug:

    cajunvegan: well that IS something. HI. :D

    andi: yeah, I ALWAYS catch my breath when someone refers to me as:

    *Cool Kid
    *Popular Kid
    *Cool Kid Table
    *etc. etc. etc.

    As I told someone yesterday, there are alumni of APHS having a good hearty laugh at THAT idea right now.

    Crystal: sweetheart, I really wasn’t saying that you should. Or that it bothers me if you don’t. I read your blog – you are BUuuuuuzzzzzzzzE.

    But thanks for coming by and saying you were here just the same. Super sweet of you.

    Queen of Shake Shake: we just can’t get away from politics, can we?

    Wendy: the idea of you listening to the weather and thinking about us… just… wow. It’s a lot. Thank you.

    Lynda: I’m always surprised by that too. Like “oh, hey, look at that happy little bonus.”

    Patti Cake: not enough time in the day – BOYYYY do I understand that.

    Kat: and then you spelled your blog name wrong. :D

    BUT, I found it when I took out the extra P.

  96. Kat says:

    Great! I have proven my ultra cool!
    I had just been to a movie with the free babysitting and was up way past my bedtime.

  97. Bec says:

    Wow, after getting through all those comments I have no idea what I was going to say – it’s like a huge love in around here – is someone going to get out a guitar and start singing ‘Morning has broken’?

    But being one of the suckiest commenters around at the moment I am just going to drip some guilt into this corner and then add in tiny tiny voice ‘I think you’re cool’ and ‘bless’ and some other nonsense and then run away again.

    And I know that wasn’t really the point of the post but the ol’ brain isn’t working too well today… or any day recently!

  98. Posts like this are just another reason why we love you!

    Rawk on.

    Love,
    your fanclub

  99. I was just wondering.

    Have you pulled your head out of your ass yet?
    ;-)

  100. John says:

    Hi.

    *OMG! I am such a dork! I should never have said that! Now she hates me! GAAHHH!*

    : )

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