This is why I don’t get free strollers or trips to Baby Camp

I don’t even know how to start this.

(Bravo! You’re an awesome writer Britt! Great first sentence! And immediate digression!)

You know how Dooce got fired because of her blog?

Yeah. I can totally top that.

I was “removed” from my Mommy Group because of yesterday’s blog post.

I shit you not.

It started with an email I received at about 6:00 am yesterday morning. My sitter, who also happens to be head of said Mommy Group, had decided that this arrangement wasn’t working out for her. She was quitting. She listed several reasons, including but not limited to the fact that my 8 year old is “not nice to her” and that she didn’t feel like we were really friends anymore.

I resisted the urge to freak the fuck out. There are few things worse to a working mother than screwing with her child care. I made a quick phone call to the day care center we’d used previously and was able, by the Grace of God, to secure a place for them – despite the center’s reputation for always having a waiting list. By 6:30 am I had averted a near crisis and was off to work.

And that’s when the shit started to roll down hill. And gather no moss. Or something like that.

The sitter/group leader and I exchanged a few emails about why she was leaving. I tried not to take the things she said about my oldest personally and for the most part ignored that portion of the conversation. I attempted to explain that the blog post she had commented on was not meant to portray anyone as a bad person, but was simply an expression of my opinion on the entire issue.

Alas, my attempts were in vain. A few emails later and I received notification that I had been “removed” from the “Working Moms” group.

(And posted about it here and the comments went ape shit. The end.)

Dude. Who the fuck gets kicked out of a Mom Group?!?!

I immediately twittered my shock. Because – seriously. I got kicked out of a Mommy Group!!

All of my friends were quick to show their support.

“You were in a mom’s group? hahahhahahahahhahahahahhaah”

Rotten bastards.

I called my husband, “honey – they kicked me out!”

The last thing I heard before I hung up was the sound of my darling husband gasping for breath as he laughed his ass off. And something about “oh man, no surprise there!” And something else that sounded an awful lot like “just a matter of time”. And more laughing.

Rotten bastard.

Yes, fuckers. I was in a mom’s group! And some of you may remember how nervous and then thrilled I was to be a part of it!

Sure, as time went on I realized that a lot of the moms weren’t actually working. I noticed that there were a lot of “play dates” scheduled for the middle of a normal work day. And, OK, that felt a little off. But, whatever – there was still weekend stuff I could do! And I’d had a lot of fun on a couple of those mom’s night outs.

Well, and, OK. I thought it was a little weird when they changed the “membership guidelines” to suggest that you had to have a baby or toddler – no big kids allowed! – to join the group. But they assured me that was just for new members and it was all about “protecting the kids”. I brushed off the notion that maybe I had joined this group for different reasons than some of the others… namely, I was interested in meeting other women for ME as much as (if not more than) I was interested in play dates for the kids.

But still! I’m a MOM! They are MOMS! We should totally hang out!


Why am I the only one surprised at the fact that I don’t “fit” with a Mommy Group?

People, I don’t know if you knew this about me, but:


Two! I have TWO CHILDREN!!

I do bath times and bedtimes and butt wiping! I sign permission slips in that spot where it says “Parent/guardian signature required”! I have stretch marks and saggage and bruises from being kneed during living room wrestling matches!

I am totally a mom!


Adam always says, “well, but you’re not really a mom. I mean, yes, technically you have kids. But you’re like.. uh.. a mother. You’re not a Mom.”

But I always just chalked that up to him being retarded. I mean… clearly.

But you know, when I stop and think about it…

I realize I wasn’t invited to Baby Camp (and I’m sure that has nothing to do with my lack of “influence”). My inbox is suspiciously devoid of annoying offers from PR reps offering me free strollers and diapers. I have yet to be included in a Crazy Hip Hop Mama Blog ring. And even alltop listed me as a “life blog” instead of a “mommy blog“. (OK, that one was by request. But still! Valid point!)

I think the signs are clear here.

I need to up my Mommy Game!

Um… any suggestions how the hell I do that?

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  1. avitable says:

    Thank God you aren’t one of those moms whose whole identity revolves exclusively around their children. Who have no hobbies of their own that don’t focus on their children. Who are so lost when their kids grow up because they no longer have an identity.

    You have your own identity. And you’re a mom. That’s the best way to do it, because anything else means that you’re not really a complete person.

    It made sense to me that you joined a “Working Moms of West Volusia” group. That brings to mind a bunch of professional and semi-professional women who balance a career and professional interests with raising children. It does not bring to mind a group of SAHMs who wouldn’t even allow a woman with a 9-year old to join their group because they thought she was creepy. You just didn’t belong with the latter.

  2. “You have your own identity.”

    Nailed. You’re one of us. “Us” being her own person and as such, not defined by one of her roles.

    That Mommy group needs a high dose of reality. It’ll hit when their kids grow up and leave home and they won’t know what the fuck to do with themselves. Sad, but true.

    Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Angry

  3. Neil says:

    I think something happens to certain people when they have children. I’ve seen it with some friends when they become a mother or father. They become so over-protective, that they begin to lose any sense of compassion for anyone else. Maybe it is the natural emotion of protecting the young, like the lion that watches over her cub. You saw this in action during the discussion of the sex offenders. All logical argument goes out the window because the children are “in danger,” whether it is a real danger or not doesn’t really matter. I bet you anything that this whole scenario would have been played out differently if this was a bunch of single women in a knitting club. You could have talked without fear. Now they are kicking the dissenter out, as if this Mommy group is the Communist Party, fearful of someone having a different opinion — “think of the children!”

    I wouldn’t give up on hanging out with other mothers. It is important that you do. You just need to find some who are more open-minded and less fearful of differences in thought.

    Neil’s last blog post..Mommybloggers: The Next Generation

  4. Amy says:

    Like I told you yesterday – you were clearly slumming it with those women. Really, you could have upped their game quite a bit but like I’ve told you – you can’t fix ignorant or crazy.


    You don’t need to up your damn mommy game. You are one of the best mothers I know. Once again we find that Britt cannot be pigeon-holed. Or corn-holed but we already knew that too. Exit only. Got it.

    While we all enjoyed the ride, those of us who know you well – know that you are already on the top of your game and THAT, my friend, is why you were kicked out. NOT because you need to up your mommy game.

    Unless you are trying to expand your reader market and in which case you are going to attract the kind of people who discuss diaper content at length and they are totally NOT going to “get” you.

    Amy’s last blog post..Only Wednesday?

  5. Karl says:

    Well, I didn’t know you belonged to a “mommy group,” though that certainly makes sense. It also makes sense that the freakish mommies went bonkers over yesterday’s post. As Neil said, those are the first-time parents who haven’t learned to stop being so overprotective yet.

    Screw ‘em. You live in a big city area. There have GOT to be parents out there who aren’t all wacked out.

    Karl’s last blog post..My First Vajynna

  6. Ella says:

    Wait mummy groups are about the children over there?

    I remember when I was little it was about the mummys getting together and socialising while we kids played outside together. Mothers would come out to solve any problems, and they would feed us, but it was mostly about giving the mums time to relax. I mean the mothers could even have a glass of wine or two during the activities.

    Just a side note, my parents best friends are people they met through parenting groups.
    My older brother is engaged to a girl he met through friends he retained from mothers group.
    My sister and I still have close friends from the same mothers group.
    My youngest sister did not really get to go to mothers group, and she is now a 14 year old demon who has to have activities organised for her after school most days, because she never got to know kids her own age in the neighbourhood.

    I am not a mother, or likely to be one anytime soon, but as far as I can see giving mums a chance to relax, and the children a chance to form friendships with people their own age must be a good thing.

    I think my point was like, it only takes a few crazy hypermums to ruin a good idea, and because they are the ones who obsess over things they tend to steamroll the normal mums who actually could use a mothers group for uses beyond their own ego.

    But I am not entirely sure, I typed this while getting ready for a night of horror movies with a guy I met when I was in diapers at mothers group.

  7. Jay says:

    WOW! I didn’t know that cults kicked people out. Weird.

    Jay’s last blog post..Friday Vlogging …

  8. Poppy says:

    Um, is that even really what you want?

    Aren’t you glad you’re not totally sucked into the “OMG I DO EVERYTHING FOR MY KID, I DON’T EVEN TAKE SHOWERS BECAUSE I MIGHT MISS SOMETHING THEY DO” mentality?

    If I am fortunate enough to have human children I will proudly take showers and proudly continue to be the whole me instead of just a mommy.

    You’re doing something right… stop trying to get in the other club, silly.

  9. Honeybell says:

    I’ve found that there are two groups of moms. The first group feel that their entire being is defined by being a mother. The second group of mothers recognize that there are several facets to a woman who also happens to have children. You are just in the second group! Don’t let anyones reaction make you feel “less than” as a mom!

    Plus I swear to Christ if you start posting pot roast recipes and talking about your kid’s poop I’m leaving. :cheese:

    Honeybell’s last blog post..Creepiest / Coolest Photoshop Job Ever

  10. Angie says:

    I’m up for starting an “anti-mom” group for moms. Complaining and bitching ONLY. No lovey dovey talk allowed.

  11. Mary says:

    I just spent the last hour reading through yesterdays comments. I’d like you to move to the California desert, and start a Mommy Group with me.

    I’d let you be in charge.

  12. Laura says:

    Britt, I am lurker but your last couple of posts brought me out because quite frankly, you have done nothing wrong.
    First of all, you don’t exactly plaster your kids all over your blog and that makes you a very smart mother because you see, as the mommy group clearly had their panties in a bunch, I noticed some of their own blogs feature nothing but their kids pictures and personal information. Hmmm, sex offenders do have the internet. I would think the stroller mob might figure out and might not blab on their blogs about information about when and where their children are are certain locations. You know, like their WHOLE life schedule.
    Meh, on the other hand, some of these women also seem a bit pathetic like they are trying desperately to get some recognition or compliments because clearly, if it wasn’t from the passing of a baby from their beloved va-jay-jay… they would never exist. Bleh!
    I admire you! I think it’s important to have an identitiy apart from your mother title because you are an actual real person underneath it all!

  13. DaDuck says:

    Getting kicked out of a mommy group? Do you get a badge or maybe a crown!?

    DaDuck’s last blog post..This Area Closed

  14. Zanthera says:

    I am so with Avitable on this one. There are Mommys and there are Mothers. Mommys make me sick and wouldn’t go near one of their blogs with a ten foot pole. I have been lurking here for a while (except for that one time you disturbed me with the first post I read of yours that I didn’t come back for a while) and enjoy your intelligence and spunky attitude.

    I’m a mother as well. I keep a special picture of my daughter in my wallet when she was 3 (9 years old next month.) I love her to bits but we have our own identities and I need her to be her and not smothered by me. I have the rare occasional post about her on my blog.

    Girl you’re soaring and don’t take a nosedive just to be with a group of mindless drones who wouldn’t know the difference between right and left wing or organizing fellow bloggers to do their painting for them and make it fun.

    I do like the idea of anti-mommys though.

    Zanthera’s last blog post..Fan, bodily substance, whatever.

  15. Glenda says:

    Ok…another lurker out of hiding! :nana:

    That is just crap, through and through..and like everyone else has commented you are seriously better off. I’ve never fit in well with most mom groups either, because it really has nothing to do with how good of mother you are, and everything to do with stuffy ass cliques. Yuck.

    Glenda’s last blog post..Must. Get. Sleep.

  16. TSM says:

    I think the fact that most of us would rather be characterized as MILFs than Mommy Bloggers speaks volumes.

    I also find it all too easy to relate to your feelings on this whole mommy group thing. We don’t want to think it matters to us, and we don’t want to think that we feel drawn to be part! of! their! group! but in actuality, there is this little thing in us that wants to be assured that we are “normal” as a parent, which is what being part of a group like that is meant to provide.

    BUT (and that’s a butt as big as mine!), even the most die-hard, Osh-Kosh-Buying-play-group-arranging-la-leche-league-organizing-baby-einstein-peddling mom has this deep-rooted need to feel like she is a “good mom”. Thank GOD for our friends in low places (that’s me!) to remind us that it’s not drinking martinis on play dates that is the problem. It’s running out of the good vodka.

  17. Get some Mom jeans?

    Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..I don’t know which makes me more proud…

  18. DutchBitch says:

    Oh Geez! Shut Up! You are a MOM! And a great one in all! I’ll drink all of Avi’s lube bottles if I am wrong about that! See how sure I am of it? :rock:

    DutchBitch’s last blog post..TGIF

  19. Mr. Fabulous says:

    No, no, no. You do NOT need to up your mommy game.

    Here’s the deal: You are ahead of your time. You are the first of a NEW kind of mommy. A better kind of mommy. A Mommy of the New Millenium, as it were.

    There is nothing to do but to wait for the rest of the world to catch up to you.

    I have the same problem :)

    Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..The Internet will soon be alive…with the sound of music!

  20. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Wait…you have an opening for a babysitter?

    Forwarding my resume…

    Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..The Internet will soon be alive…with the sound of music!

  21. Lisa says:

    Oh…no, no, no, no, no. Let me explain how this works. There are mothers who have nothing, absolutely nothing in their lives to complete them other than their children. No other dimension. No other interests. Nada. They are child-obsessed. Should another mother not share that child obsession then they cannot relate with that mother. In fact they believe that should be hung because how could that mother be a good mother.

    I don’t think those mothers had any self esteem or any life before they had children. Their children now fill their self esteem. When their child becomes 18 an goes to college…they are in deep shit.

    Know what I’m saying?

    OMG, you are multi-dimensional. They cannot deal. AND…you use the ‘F’ word. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

    Yes, I got thrown out of a Mommy Group too.

    Lisa’s last blog post..My Fate

  22. intelligent, well rounded women make the best mothers. (i should know, i had one.) you are an excellent mom.

    britt, this wasn’t the group for you. you could feel it, but wanted friends in your new area so you tried. they failed you because this group misrepresented themselves.

    and your son is MUCH better off without this woman as his babysitter. we know that he is a gifted child…he needs someone who will not be intimidated by that fact.

    don’t let this group stop you from trying to find a support group with skin on. you have your internet friends, but it is important to have people to sit across from and share a laugh with when your schedule frees up. people who have a life and identity aside from having birthed a baby.

    you are loved.


    hello haha narf’s last blog post..Dave & Me…On Da Radio

  23. Yannow…some people take this Mommy thing WAY too seriously. I learned long, long ago, (my oldest is 13) that for some, the Mommy thing is just a way to put themselves on a pedestal and satisfy their need for power. It’s so freaking weird. And Southern women for some reason, seem to have this tendency in spades.

    What to do about it? I wish I had an answer. I have been a SAHM for 13 years and I’m pretty sick of it. So I’m going to college. I hope to meet some women with brains.

    Blog Antagonist’s last blog post..Danger Will Robinson

  24. Mattie says:

    From reading your blog a LONG time, I’ve learned two things about you. (1) You are ultra sensitive to what others think about you, even when it’s unwarranted, and (2) you don’t take shit from nobody.

    It’s time for you to take (2) and adopt it.

    Fuck ‘em.

    Mattie’s last blog post..Why Blogging Isn’t A Function – It’s A Community

  25. Candice says:

    Britt, it’s their loss. They totally suck ass. I’ve tried joing mommy groups in my area and it is always the same-majority of stay at home moms only, playdates during the middle of the day during the work week, etc.

    You don’t need to up your mommy game. You just need to find other working moms who have hobbies, interests, and dreams that don’t revolve around their children only.

    I’d totally hang out with you. ;)

  26. Sue says:

    WHY? Why would you want to fit in with the Stepford Wives? You ROCK, and I’ve only just met you! Don’t, please don’t feel as if you have to conform to somebody ELSE’s standard of ‘mommy’. We know you’re a mother. It’s perfectly clear from here. But you are also a woman. A strong one at that.

    Them kicking you out was the best damned decision they ever made for you. Now you don’t have to saddle yourself to their ‘guidelines’. You are FREE to do whatever the hell you want, without some prissy pants whinging on that you aren’t one of ‘them’.

    Stop trying to sit at the cool kids table, we can just go out for lunch, eh?

    I do have to say, however, that I found it funny the way they revealed their own characters in their comments. You didn’t write their comments for them. They did that all by themselves. They’s ‘Big Girls’, you know. :-)

    Sue’s last blog post..Dude! A Bra Made of Bacon

  27. Holy SHIT. One of my character defects is that I’d have a hard time not taking the whole thing personally.

    That lady who said she preemptively removed you because you might have removed yourself… oh, what a laugher of a high-school play THAT was.

    Fuck that noise, sister. I think you rock.

    Rich | Championable’s last blog post..I know you’re here.

  28. Dan says:

    Yeah, fuck ‘em.

    Although I appreciate that isn’t of much comfort when you are feeling rejected.

    You can join my daddy group if you want. I’m the only member at the moment and the meetings have tended to rvolve around watching Legion of superhero’s cartoons whilst feeling guilty I got a day off work yet still sent the kids to nursery. But you never know, you might enjoy it.

    Dan’s last blog post..Earwigging

  29. Meg says:

    What’s your gut telling you? I bet it’s saying, you gotta be you. You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t, and then we wouldn’t keep coming back to read Miss Britt! Because, how boring would you be if you weren’t YOU? Please. Keep being you. Ignore those bitches!

  30. Miss Britt says:

    Holy CRAP did I miss the mark on this post. I thought this would be FUNNY!

    I knew I should have ended with an inappropriate picture of my kids. DAMN!

    avitable I TOLD YOU you would ruin it with a serious comment. DAMN YOU!! lol

    Karen Sugarpants: OK, that’s interesting from you. Because I know you – and you’re not much different than me. But you seem to be more easily viewed as a “mommy blogger” – what’s up with that?

    Neil: yeah, I think those are harder to fine – maybe because they don’t wear their labels as clearly.

    Amy: well I was MAINLY joking.

    Karl: hey – I just appreciate the “makes sense” instead of uproarious laughter!

    Ella: THANK YOU! I totally thought this was a MOM thing. Maybe I should be British.

    Jay: well, they usually make you drink kool-aid first.

    Poppy: I don’t really want in the club. LOL

    But as a MOM, it is kind of weird when your closest friend always says “but you’re not REALLY a mom”. What the fuck?!?! Am so!

    Honeybell: well, you’re in luck – I loathe pot roast.

    But I was actually going to post something about low carb fettuccine! LOL

    Angie: we could be charter members!!

    Mary: :heartbeat: awwwww, thanks. I love being in charge!

    Laura: welllll shit. I do kind of plaster them all over here. Damn. Does that revoke the rest of your comment? LOL

    Oh, and, HI!!

    DaDuck: I want a sash. That’s so versatile.

    Zanthera: wait – what was the first post that disturbed you???? I am DYING to know now!

    Glenda: HI! OK, but tell me – it’s kind of funny too – right? RIGHT!?!?!

    TSM: “we are “normal” as a parent”
    AND “It’s running out of the good vodka.”

    You complete me. :heartbeat:

    Aimee Greeblemonkey: shit, I was afraid of that. I’m “petite” so I should be able to find a wide selection in the “petite” section.

    DutchBitch: that’s a looooot of lube. :lol:

    Mr. Fabulous:

    A Mommy of the New Millenium

    Holy crap. I want THAT on a fucking sash and I will wear it every single day! YAY!

    Lisa: we’re like… refugees. :lmao:

    hello haha narf: alright, I admit – I am kind of reluctant to get all into the skin people after this.

    Plus – Avitable has a LOT of skin.

    (Seriously though – new experience for me to be leery of skin people.)

    Blog Antagonist: I wonder if I can go pretend to be in college, meet women with brains, and not be required to pay tuition. Do you think that would work?

    Mattie: HEY! I’m working on the ultra sensitive thing! I swear! I thought this would be FUNNY!

    Dang it. You fuckers know me too well.

    Candice: yeah? We should power lunch.

    Sue: I believe in margaritas at lunch.

    I’m going to start a group around THAT.

    Rich: :rock: I love that we have the same “issues”. LOL

    Dan: I’m into cartoons. I can do that.

    Meg: actually – my gut keeps saying “a big part of you is being a mother – why is everyone always surprised by that?”

  31. Sue says:

    Oops. I completely missed the humor. Duh. Sorry! Margaritas sound lovely. I’m for it if you are!

    Sue’s last blog post..Dude! A Bra Made of Bacon

  32. ADW says:

    Cry on my shoulder tomorrow

    I had something totally nasty to write, but I erased it. Karma and all….

    ADW’s last blog post..Mea Culpa and Florida Here I Come!!!

  33. Mindi says:

    Hey – as President of my moms club, I can only say this: I would have never kicked you out.

    Then again, if any of those women ever found my blog, I’d probably be ousted before you can say “Breast vs. Bottle”.

    But it is shit like this that is why I am not only not running for re-election this June, but dropping out of the group entirely when my membership expires in November!

    Mindi’s last blog post..I Get An Honorary Penis!

  34. FyreGoddess says:

    Ya know… this is where it gets rough being a really young mom. In order to have mom friends your own age, it turns out they all have wee babies and you’re already past that.

    I wonder what the age range of these moms is, honestly, because I’d bet that it’s rather disconcerting to at least some of them that you’re not only more experienced than they are, you’ve already done it TWICE. You probably don’t have the sympathy of a new, fresh mom who went through the very same thing a few months back, you’re the seasoned, wisened mom who actually knows that most of that crap really doesn’t matter.

    All that said, I bet if it is true that few, if any, could articulate that it’s an issue.

    The other thing is that, much of the time, (not all!) these moms who need this sort of group are just moms and nothing else. You are so much more than just a mom and you’re not defined by your kids. I know you’re still new to Florida and probably don’t know all that many people still, but trust me, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

    Join a book club or start a weekly movie thing or do that (.org? something like that) and meet new people that way. Unless you all have wee babies, why is motherhood a good thing to have in common? Shit, most of my friends are not only not parents, they don’t intend to ever be and we have PLENTY in common.

    The fact that you have kids has one tantalizing piece to it for those who don’t… they totally legitimize adults going to see kid movies. Oh yeah…

    FyreGoddess’s last blog post..“It’s all hi-tech now…”

  35. avitable says:

    Well, it was funny. Ummm . . . trying to think of funny comment . . .

    So’s your face!

  36. debkitty says:

    Hmmmm. I think it is totally cool that you got kicked out! Who needs those pansy asses any ways???? Right? :rock:

    debkitty’s last blog post..Just Another Day!

  37. avitable says:

    You should totally start a MILF club.

  38. Jen says:

    I know you meant this to be funny so I’ll try to be funny back:

    How to up your “Mom game”:
    – only drink starbucks and drive an SUV
    – Never shower again unless both kids are in the bathroom with you.
    – Never take a crap again unless at least one kid is at the door going “mommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy!”
    – Never have sex again unless the door is locked and barricaded and both you and Jared have your mouths duct-taped!
    And finally:
    – No, chocolate is NOT ok for breakfast!!! :lmao:

    Jen’s last blog post..For all the bacon fans…

  39. avitable says:

    Jen’s got the idea.

    I think you also need to wear those mom pants that have elastic waistbands and pull up, right under your boobs.

  40. NYCWD says:

    Wait. You mean you have TWO hooman children? I thought they were cats.

    The only way I could see you upping game to “mommy” status is to quit working, bake arsenic cupcakes, and drink Irish coffee 24/7 while wearing gawdy pink bathrobes and fantasizing about the underage pool boy that would make you an official sex offender.

    “Mommy” to me is represented by this brief tale:
    Son- “Mommy, mommy! I can only walk in circles!”
    Mommy- “Shut up before I nail your other foot to the floor.”

    So yeah… I stay stick with being a mother… a hooman mother.

    NYCWD’s last blog post..I Don’t Serve Kool-Aid…

  41. Britt's Mom says:

    Oh honey – maybe it’s the fact that you became a mommy when you were barely out of diapers themselves. :lmao:

    However, for a perspective from another generation, when I was a kid, our parents got together for cards and drinks, bringing the kids over in their jammies and letting us all sleep on the “coat bed” – you know, where they threw all the coats.

    I clearly remember my parents telling me to “pick one” activity, because they were far too busy to run my entitled little ass all over to this activity or that one.

    Having been both, I can tell you that SAHM’s suffer pangs of guilt and envy – whether they admit or not – because they’re not “contributing” financially to their families and their lives are “boring” – while working moms experience the agonies of the damned because they “don’t spend enough time” with their kids or “put their kids first”.

    What would be better would be for PARENTS to have more compassion for each other, and respect for each other’s decisions for what works in THEIR lives, without justifying those decisions without bashing the decisions of others.

    I would know better than anyone what kind of mom you are to my grandbabies. I don’t een know what the fuck “Baby Camp” is but I think you’re wonderful!

    Britt’s Mom’s last blog post..Who Do You Trust?

  42. Oh those bitches work. Trust me. I have seen them hooking at night on the boulevard. You know that they are desperate for any sex at all, since their husbands are completely bored with their pettiness and boring vaginas.

    Go down there, find them and throw pennies at them out of your car window. That’s what we used to do.

    The Absurdist’s last blog post..Freewriting Friday

  43. Just Me says:

    Oh Britt! You remind me of myself….please don’t go all upping your “mommy game”….I like you just the way you are…..a great wife and mother!


  44. I’m sorry you were injured. That’s really no laughing matter. And being rejected is truly one of the deepest injuries we as human beings can experience. No matter how you laugh it off or justify it – you were injured by someone’s words. I hope you will be gentle with your heart and take good care of yourself.

  45. Britt – Fuck those Bitches!!


    You are a better person ALL AROUND than those fucking elitist cunts! Yes! I SAID CUNTS!!

    I don’t really know you, but something that that ENRAGES me!! Like really deeply guttural, I want to break something when I see something like what those fucking CUNTS pulled on you!

    Obviously, you are WAY ABOVE their marker. They are such insecure FUCKING CUNTS that they feel threatened by your *GASP* progressive views. They don’t know how to handle themselves when a truly smart, funny and overly awesome person enters their circle. It’s like birds gone wild for those fucking CUNTS when they feel threatened. twittering and making a huge mess of shit, all out of fear.

    Fuck ‘Em. Find a new group. Trust me, there are good people like you out there who have groups, and who are in fact, mommies too. It just takes a little more digging, that’s all. Don’t let those CUNTS get you down.

    **I am going for a swearing record. I am also using a highly offensive word, I know, but only because they DESERVE IT!! CUNTS!!!**

    yeah…sorry about the swearing…but that kind of shit pisses me off, can you tell?

    Cissa Fireheart’s last blog post..No knows what it’s like to be me….

  46. Britt's Mom says:

    Wow honey – these people are violent.

    Retreating to puppies and kitties world.

    I still think you’re funny. :rock:

    Britt’s Mom’s last blog post..Who Do You Trust?

  47. Jules says:

    I am a mom, and I have never been the mom that you say belong to the Mom Group. I am the mom that Avitable described in his comment.

    Do you really want to be like the women that have kicked you out? I don’t think so. Hang in there chica and don’t let those snobby women get to you. You are definitely better off!

    Jules’s last blog post..In my travels

  48. Kristin says:

    Oh Honey! Having been a part of the mommy groups in Omaha, without my own kids, I know how they are. I love when you ask me how I made such fast friends there. I went to the scrapbook store and that’s where I met all my friends, but it was like a mommy group too. Granted not all of us had kids, but most did and I had my Megan!

    But in reality looking back, I didn’t fit in! I worked when most of them didn’t and the ones that did work, well they were on a MUCH high scale of pay than I was. I often miss my friends, and I haven’t made many friends in the three years I have been here but that’s okay too.

    I was so excited that you had found friends when you were there. I actually wondered what I was diong wrong that I hadn’t met any here. But I also wondered just when this very thing was going to happen to you. Mom’s, especially SAHM’s are CADDY….they live through their kids. And your point of view and their’s, I know that you aren’t the one to sit there with a smile on your face nodding in agreement as most of them do! You are who you are because of your strength.

    Remember, I love you, and that counts for something! LOL

  49. Winter says:

    I was so impressed with your sex offenders post. In a big time way. The fact that they kicked you to the curb for it just reinforces what you posted. And it was funny that everyone laughed when you were tossed. Really funny. I laughed at them laughing. I didn’t laugh that they tossed you. They fucking suck. Stupid biotches. You’re fun. They’re mommy nights out prolly suck now without you.

    Winter’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen the Tenth

  50. aka_monty says:

    That post, in a nutshell, is why I used to get rabid over being referred to as a Mommy Blogger. Talk about uppity CLIQUES! I’m a mom, a mommy, a daddy, a sitter, I work outside the home…and yet have never been invited to join any sort of Mommy Group. I don’t get any of the schwag or freebie offers or anything either.

    I say we start our own group. :)

    And PS People are full of suck.

    aka_monty’s last blog post..A lovely Tuesday surprise, and it wasn’t even an April Fool’s joke

  51. Jennifer says:

    I’ll join your MILF club.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Things that Are Difficult to Explain to the Shorter People

  52. Little Miss Sunshine State says:

    I have thought of about 100 things to say about this in the past 2 days, but I am such an old dinosaur and I just don’t get the whole new “Mommy mentality”. Some of these “moms”
    scare the crap out of me and I worry about the little people they are raising.I totally agree that you and Angie could start a REAL MOMS group.

    Britt- on the other hand, you ROCK. If I had little kids I would want you to be their babysitter.

  53. The advice I use to get me through when I can’t seem to make any new friends with my son’s school or sport activities is:

    Basically be TRUE to you and your family.

    If anyone has a problem with that: FUCK “EM!


    themuttprincess’s last blog post..Yeah. My head is still clogged. I give up!

  54. Miss Britt says:

    Sue: LOL, don’t apologize – that was obviously a flaw in MY writing.

    Besides, I always think I’m funnier than everyone else does. :lol:

    ADW: can I tell you the places I’m feeling funny in sweet anticipation of tomorrow night?

    I bet you can guess. :wink:

    Mindi: oooooh – scandal!

    FyreGoddess: as usual, you are brilliant.

    Having kids as young as I did DEFINITELY changes things up for me. And yeah, having TWO – well, it’s different. I can say that because I was the Mom With One Kid. It’s weird to be younger and feel like I have a better grip on the parenting thing.

    Better – not perfect, of course.

    avitable: fucker.

    debkitty: I should get a patch for my biker jacket now, don’t you think?

    avitable: I can’t start a club I can’t join! DAmn!

    Jen: hey – except for the first – I do all of those things!

    That reminds me, I really need to do a post about my daughter’s fascination with “mommy’s pink pee”. Privacy, thy name is WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?!?!?

    avi: those are hot on me.

    NYCWD: damn, I suck at baking.

    Britt’s Mom: I can’t believe I’m going to say this… (and really, you should write this down Mom)

    I hope I can be as good a Mom as you have been to us.

    The Absurdist: but I need my pennies for the protesters!!

    Just Me: awww… I like you too honey.

    claudia hall christian: you’re so sweet. And you’ll be happy to know, I am totally fine. Today. :-)

    Cissa Fireheart: whewwww Doggies girl!

    Britt’s Mom: :lol:

    Jules: no, I don’t. But I also don’t want that PART of me (the mom part) ignored either. Does that make sense?

    Kristin: baby, you loving me – after as long as you’ve known me – counts for a hell of a lot.

    Winter: I do add a whole new dimention to a Mom’s Night Out. :wink:

    aka_monty: there seems to be a big rallying cry for our own group.

    I say, we start with the goal in mind: what kind of swag do WE want?

    Jennifer: :lol: we’re gonna get bras and panties, I just know it!

    Little Miss Sunshine State: ohhhhh no you wouldn’t. Oh God. No. I am a sucky sitter of other people’s children.

    OH God. No.

    TMP: integrity – basically. :heartbeat:

  55. Trishk says:

    Okay, see how much everyone loves you!!!

    I have no clue how to “up the Mommy Game”.

    My experiences as a child and a mother was more like what your mother explained. Lots more fun that way.

    PS…don’t let Mr. Fab babysit…he might do sculpeys of them.

    Trishk’s last blog post..Open Letter to Commuters

  56. I got kicked out of PTA for hosting happy hour before (that was where I fucked up) the meetings. :martini:

    Swizzle Stick’s last blog post..Hospital Stay

  57. Jer says:

    Hey man, any woman who can work full time, rear 2 children and maintain a household is a KICK ASS mom in my book.

    Jer’s last blog post..Bayou Bash 2008

  58. MammaLoves says:

    Dude! I think I love you.

    Any chick cool enough to get kicked out of a Mom’s group is my kind of gal.

    MammaLoves’s last blog post..How He Became Our Son, Part II

  59. They chucked you? Well, obviously they can take their Old Navy obsessed asses and go have boring conversations about their manicure girls.

    Captain Steve’s last blog post..April Fool’s

  60. RW says:

    I stay out of the blog loop for two days and everything blows up.

    What The Fuck?

    We need a drama icon.

    RW’s last blog post..Top Chef Chicago IV – In Praise of Choclate & Salmon

  61. Mitzi Green says:

    don’t you DARE “up your mommy game.” you want to be a stepford mom? f that. we can start our own mom’s group. as in, Bad Moms Who Didn’t Breastfeed – Because They Didn’t Want To! or, Bad Moms Who Don’t Indulge Their Child’s Every Whim! or, Bad Moms Who Want To Discuss Things That Don’t Involve Children Sometimes!

    um, yeah–i’ve never even been invited to join a “mommy group.” mostly because people are scared of my kid. oh, yeah–and me.

  62. I’m of the notion that some moms are just too damned cool to be in a mommy group. I don’t join them because I’m too young for my son’s classmates’ suburban housewife mommies.

    If it makes you feel any better, I couldn’t go on my sons field trip to the museum because “so many were interested they had a raffle to decide who go to go” but since most of the moms who went are the ones who help in the classroom twice a week, I’m taking it pretty personally. Heh. Another one of the joys of being a working parent. :blush:

    Also, you can feel better about yourself because at least you’re not 15 years younger than your kid’s friends moms. That makes for an awkward situation, let me tell you. I helped in his class for their Halloween party and I think they thought I was his sister. Thus, the reason not a damned one would let me help or talk to me. :wtf: :banghead:

    Sheila (Charm School Reject)’s last blog post..Just Because It’s Thursday and I Love You

  63. Linda~ says:

    I think to really up your “Mommy” game you should:

    Become a scout leader.
    Only let your kids wear homemade Halloween costumes.
    Bake cookies at least once a week.
    Only homecooked meals, no McDonald’s or Mac-N-Cheese.
    No more “F” bombs.
    Look your best at all times.
    And most importantly…NO WIRE HANGERS!

    Just kidding. You’re great the way you are. I never belonged to any kind of “Group”. I hung out with my friends, whether they had kids or not. I eventually met women through my kid’s activities that I really liked. I was actually a cub scout leader for a few years and my co-leader, that I was paired up with, is still a good friend. It’s been 21 years now.

    Lots of luv,


  64. Robin says:

    Those moms are a part of the reason why I don’t want to have children, I’m afraid I will end up like that. It’s like, invasion of the body snatchers. Then again, I’m one of those weird furmommies…good thing there are no furmommy groups since cats don’t socialize.

    Robin’s last blog post..Sugar Rush

  65. Robina says:

    After reading through more of your comments about the Sex Offender thing, it’s no surprise they wanted you out. I mean, God forbid if someone should have a differing opinion, and even VOICE. I mean, didn’t anyone ever tell you that you have to THINK like allthe mommies in a group to be in one?

    You are probably better off. Start your own group! Have mom’s who aren’t fake; mom’s who are real and just let thier kids be kids. You can dress how you want, say what you think and want, and not have to worry about snooty people.

    I don’t know, the comments from some of them sounded like those people are stuck up and think their way is the ONLY right way and if anyone else thinks differently, they don’t want them in their group.

    But hey, join a virtual group. I’ll join! And I won’t even mind that you aren’t thought of as a Mother, cause hey, everyone tells ME that too!

    Robina’s last blog post..The House of Medicine & Bi-Polar

  66. Turnbaby says:


    I hope this is the joke I think it is (if it’s not a joke I might have to kick your ass;-))

    I think you are a ‘mom’–punch Avi in the nuts

    You are a mom who is an actual person with interests

    They don’t exist beyond their kids

    You frighten them sugar.

    You RAWK

    Turnbaby’s last blog post..Beautiful

  67. sam says:

    Upping you mommy game would require blogging constantly about your kids and only your kids – including how many times they shit in a day.

    Never leaving the house without them – you know, to have fun and drink with other women.

    And you’d have to cut out that cursing and use words like ‘poopy’ and ‘ah-ah-ah’ and maybe ‘please be quiet’ instead of ‘shut the fuck up’ once and a while.

    I think you may even have to stop wearing make up and even maybe buy some less slutty clothes – Mom jeans with a FULL camel toe are on the rage I hear.

    Who the fuck are you kidding? You up your Mommy Game and I’ll beat the shit right outta you.

    sam’s last blog post..I Said Never Again But I Meant – Until Now

  68. Robina says:

    Wow! I just read your mom’s and she is a wonderfully smart mother! I wish she were mine. My mom sucked big time.

    Robina’s last blog post..The House of Medicine & Bi-Polar

  69. Jacki says:

    I am a new reader, from Maggie, Dammit….and I love your blog. I’m gonna keep reading.

    And I never joined a moms group for several reasons…mainly becuause the ones I looked into joining sounded more like cults then moms groups. And I was never the typical “stay-at-home” mom….especially now that I am going back to work as soon as I find a job.

    Jacki’s last blog post..Sleep is overrated

  70. Jeannie says:

    How I would babysit Britt’s kids.
    1) Play in the dirt and get really dirty
    2) Watch a bunch of cartoons
    3) Make monsters with play-doh and get it under our fingernails.
    4) Bake chocolate chip cookies and eat them with chocolate milk.
    5) More TV
    6) Go for a walk and try to catch lizards

    I’m practicing to be a cool Grandma

    Jeannie’s last blog post..More Devil Dog….and a FLOOD

  71. Indigo says:

    Well aren’t they a hoity toity stuck up bunch. The problem with some of these “mommy groups” are that *some* of them are just plain old mean for the *sake of being mean*. Did you see Mean Girls?

    I was in a mommy group when I was pg, we were all pg and due in April 2001. Those ladies were so wonky with all their rules and gossip and they too kicked out moms for various (stupid) reasons. But GOD FORBID a mother respond to another mother that it’s probably not a good idea to take her infant out of the carseat while in a moving vehicle to nurse the baby … you’d be completely out of line for pointing out something like that. Cripes.

    Anyhow, find yourself a wine club. That’s what I did. :-)

    Indigo’s last blog post..that *freaking* violin

  72. Crys says:

    i nominate myself the sexy secretary of the MILF club. holla back at yer girl

  73. Tracy Lynn says:

    I don’t know much about parenting, obviously, but MY mom would have kicked ass and laid waste to people who behaved like the mommies.

    She’s a lot like me, only nicer. :rock:

    Tracy Lynn’s last blog post..Post 685: ‘sfloor Tastes Funny

  74. Jay says:

    Great Googlgy Moogly! I just went back and read all the comments on the previous post. I thought I was just joking when I made the “cult” comment. Then I saw the comments from the mommy group members and I realized that I didn’t know how close to the mark I really was. You’re lucking you got out before you guys all took a “Mommies and kiddies vacation to some South American country for a picnic!”

    What’s really funny was that I also went on this long rant about Mommy Bloggers and “Young Middle-Class Suburban Mom Entitlement Syndrome” and then deleted it cause I thought “I don’t want to start a war in somebody else’s comment section.” HA!

    Anyway, anytime I’m a little down and need something funny to cheer me up I’ll just go back and read those comments again. That was comedy gold right there my friend. ;-)

    Jay’s last blog post..Friday Vlogging …

  75. Rachel says:

    Hey Britt….apparently you didn’t watch the Stepford Wives enough times. You are supposed to do as told and be like everybody else if you want to be accepted. Yeah ok!

    Good for you for having your own identity. I’m just going to wager on the fact that they are probably jealous of you. They probably don’t have their own identity and that makes them crazy that you do.

    If I were you…my repsonse to them would be “I’ve been kicked out of BETTER places!”

    Have a nice day!

  76. Krystle says:

    HAHAHA! SAM! Perfectly said! :peace:

    Britt, don’t you change. If your blog changes into a complete mommy blog…………..just don’t do it. PLEASE!!

    Krystle’s last blog post..Noooooooo!

  77. Krystle says:

    Oh, and that whole mommy group thing… reminds me of times when I was in middle school and high school and being kicked out of the “cool kids” group. Ya know?

    Krystle’s last blog post..Noooooooo!

  78. This Mom says:

    If I have learned one thing about you in the time I’ve been a *devoted* reader, it’s that you don’t fit into any particular box. You’ve made your own style, you’ve blazed your own trail, and YOU. ARE. YOUR. OWN. PERSON.

    Don’t kick yourself for not fitting in. Instead praise yourself for just being YOU, and not worrying about what stereotypes you can stuff your big personality into. Quit worrying so much about how you appear to people, and what people think of you! (I need to practice what I preach, I KNOW!) and just do what you do best. Be yourself.

    Being yourself is the ONLY way to find out who your real, TRUE friends are.

    This Mom’s last blog post..Debt Freedom Friday: 4/4/08

  79. Erin says:

    Okay, I haven’t actually read the rest of the comments on the other post, but am I the only one who is completely appalled that your sitter not only quit without notice (that’s what it sounded like anyway) but didn’t have the balls to even look at you while she quit? Quitting via Email? WTF? Where the hell is she from that such a thing is considered acceptable behavior?

    Erin’s last blog post..Gotz Nuthin’

  80. Erin says:

    Also, I kind of wonder how many of them are still reading these comments and waiting for somebody to back them up :D I can see them hitting refresh and saying “sooner or later somebody will say that we are right!”

    Have fun ladies! It isn’t going to happen any time soon :)

    Erin’s last blog post..Gotz Nuthin’

  81. Creed (Baby Brother) says:


    I’ve told you a million times and I’ll tell you again. You and Jared are the best parents in the world. And I honestly believe that! You know how awesome of a “parent” you were to me ;)

    hahaha ps- i find it hilarious that your sitter said devin isn’t nice to her! hilarious! now when i come to florida this summer IIIIIIIIII can be with them all day!

  82. wafelenbak says:

    Ahhhhhh. I did not get the timeline on the babysitter quitting, which puts a whoooole different spin on the matter. Not that it was noble in the first place, but…ya know…interesting is one way to put it.

  83. Trishk says:

    Woo Hoo! Creed is coming back?? Party Time!!

    Trishk’s last blog post..Open Letter to Commuters

  84. Maman says:

    You know the problem is that when groups of women get together, they feel compelled to start playing head games with each other. For some reason, when the mothers are the women involved it becomes a contest of “More mothering than thou”.

    We all run into it.. and trust me, I think these bitches think they are more knowing, loving and clever than the Blessed Virgin, herself.

    You are well rid of them as a group. And clearly as a sitter, that woman was unprofessional.

    Maman’s last blog post..The guilty look

  85. Divalicious says:

    Eh, you don’t need people like them.

    Oh and hi Miss Britt. I thought I would come out of lurking. :lol:

    Divalicious’s last blog post..Helping a friend (updated)

  86. Kat says:

    I, the fuck, was kicked out of a mommy group. Soon after we moved to a new city, in fact. One of the members was an old friend, whose 3 yr old kept beating the crap out of my 2 yr old, and I told her I didn’t like it and would she please ask him to stop…because she never did ask him to stop… and then we weren’t so much friends anymore… and she apparently talked about it in “the group”, and then I got an email, “Until you and *** work out your issues, we all think it is best that you don’t come to our playgroup. It would just be uncomfortable. Good luck.”
    So I started blogging, and have made way cooler friends on the internetz.
    The End.

    Kat’s last blog post..Homeless…high tech

  87. Jen says:

    Britt – Pink Pee….oh God….how do you explain THAT to a 6 year old! Thank God my daughter is only 2 right now! One day I was getting changed and she looked down there and said “what’s that mommy”. :eyebrow:

    Jen’s last blog post..For all the bacon fans…

  88. Miss Britt says:

    Trishk: I would love to see the kids in Sculpey! Assuming he survived…

    Swizzle Stick: kicked out of PTA?? OK, you win. :lol:

    Jer: I like you.

    MammaLoves: I feel like I should go get a tattoo or something. Like, on my bicep.

    Captain Steve: hey – Old Navy has good deals sometimes!

    RW: how about :omg:

    Mitzi Green: yeahhhh… my oldest kid is a little hard to take for some people.

    Sheila: I am sooo with you there! I am always the youngest parent – especially with my oldest.

    Linda~: the F bomb and the baking will be my downfall.

    Robin: “invasion of the body snatchers” pretty accurately describes pregnancy and childbirth. LOL

    Robina: does it kind of weird you out that no one thinks of you as a mother though?

    Turnbaby: it totally is – thanks for getting it!! :wink:

    sam: but.. but… my boobs look awesome in slutty clothes!!! :cry:

    Robina: she is pretty awesome.

    Jacki: hello, welcome, glad to have you – I’ll warn you, it’s not this crazy all the time.

    Jeannie: will you babysit me?

    Indigo: damn – I don’t know shit about wine.

    Crys: Motion Seconded and CARRIED!

    Tracy Lynn: I like a mom who kicks ass and lays waste.

    Jay: I’m always glad to make you laugh. :D

    Rachel: oh no, it’s not jealousy. I have learned that: when your mom told you girls were mean to you because they were jealous? She was being nice. :lol:

    Krystle: I don’t have the attention span for that, no worries.

    This Mom: this is the best advice one woman could ever give another.

    Erin: she gave me a “week if I couldn’t find anyone” – luckily I did.

    Creed: awwwwww – and no, this doesn’t mean you have to babysit when you come for the summer. I promise.

    wafelenbak: yeah, interesting.

    Trishk: so he says.

    Maman: I hate to think women are incapable of coming together as a group. I mean, surely we are collectively better than that – aren’t we?

    Divalicious: *waving excitedly* HI!

    Kat: WOW! Well, it sounds like we should take it as a badge of honor!

    Jen: that was my 2 year old. I might have to work that into a post.

  89. Jayme says:

    Trust me you dont want to “up” your mommy game. Sadly my older sister is one of those “stepford” moms and she scares me! And I teasingly warn Allyson to please not become a stepford mom now that she is in Florida.
    I never found a mommy group I really felt comfortable with. I don’t realy count as a young mom anymore cuse I am too old… but I already have more experience than parents my own age. Most of my friends are just now having kids and I have been a mom for 13yrs.
    I agree with everyone else… you didn’t fit in because your life is more well rounded than most of them. When your kids grow up and move on, yes you will still feel the lost and a huge part of you will ache BUT unlike “those” women you will realize that you had a life before and during the time you were a Mommy and will continue to have that after they are capable of taking of themselves.

  90. Robina says:

    No, it doesn’t weird me out. I take to mean, “You are WAY too cool and hip to be a mom! And you don’t LOOK like a mom either!”

    Maybe it’s cause we treat our kids like people, instead of robots who can’t think?

    Robina’s last blog post..Conversation from home

  91. Laura says:

    Well I must be a complete dumbass because I didn’t see any pics of the kiddos on here LOL!
    No, I wasn’t saying it wasn’t okay to post their pics but seriously, I clicked on one of the “cult” group blog and like, OMIGorsh, you could see park names, little league names, school names, ya know all that important stuff that you would think some sex offender scared starbuck mommies would know better than to put up. For me, that’s a huge “WTH are you thinking holier than thou cult member mommy?” lol With some of the stuff I saw on their blogs, hell, they mine as well have posted a map to their house or something.
    I am mean but meh, I don’t like anyone picking on you!

  92. The only way you can become a mommy blogger now – you are going to have to start posting about poop. Color, frequency, and consitancy, are the only way to get onto the mommy blogger track now.

    Crazy Lady in Vegas’s last blog post..The Dirty little truth about phone sex

  93. Finn says:

    I don’t have the time to read all the (I’m sure) pity comments that say this exact same thing, but: Why the fuck do you want to up your “mom” game? I don’t believe you really do or you’d have gone along to get along way before now.

    You hauled your little cookies and your family halfway across the country because you needed to be you. Don’t cave now.

    You have many, many sisters out here in blogland, women who don’t fit the “mom” mold (notice how that “mold” is spelled exactly like that yucky crud that makes you sick?). Unfortunately geography prevents us from forming our own “group,” one without guidelines (!?) and the ability to be removed (!?). I’m sure that there are many women just like you nearby but you haven’t met because you’re all too busy working and raising your children, etc. Maybe you should post a flyer at the preschool. Sort of like a personals ad!

    Finn’s last blog post..Thursday Photo: In My Dream

  94. Finn says:

    Oh… what the fuck is Baby Camp?

    Finn’s last blog post..Thursday Photo: In My Dream

  95. Miss Britt says:

    Jayme: no, I really don’t. That part was a joke. Although it does always surprise me when people act like me being a mom is no big deal to me.

    Robina: wha?? they’re not?? Damn it. I just thought my remote was fucked up. That explains a lot.

    Laura: you can come sit by me at the dumb ass table. :wink:

    Crazy Lady in Vegas: I need to find out what crazy ass blogs you women read. I have YET to stumble upon a blog about poop.

    Finn: dude – I was kidding. I’ve worked wayyy to hard to be me – no fucking way I’m tossing that all away now.

    And Baby Camp was a PR paid for get away for a bunch of cool ass bloggers. And I mean that seriously.

  96. Nat says:

    I work full time. I don’t even know where to begin with this. I am a mom. Not a mommy. I have a life outside my kid.

    From a purely organizational perspective. I can’t fucking believe the babysitter fucking upped and quit with no notice. Honestly I would post her name and phone number on your blog and invite us all to call her and call her a bad parent.

    I got kicked out of a mommy group because I went back to school and put The Boy in daycare full time. (bad bad bad mother I am. Wanting to get an education.) Don’t let the mommies drag you down. They clearly don’t understand.

    And FTR I hate the term Mommy blogger. HATE IT!

    Nat’s last blog post..Tom Thompson came paddling past

  97. Betty says:

    I would never have “fit in” to a Mommy Bloggers group, either, thank God. Wear your ouster like a badge of honor. Own it. Be proud of it. You don’t go in lockstep with anyone. I like that in a person.

    Betty’s last blog post..Little Things Piss Me Off

  98. Nobody™ says:

    Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.

    Oh, wait, they ARE the joke!

    You’re better off without them.

    Nobody™’s last blog post..Is it finally spring?

  99. Melissa says:

    You know, those folks were definitely not for you. It’s really hard to find a good fit – I can’t find a NORMAL person around here to hang out with…obviously neither can you. ;) :lmao:

    And, I am shocked that your babysitter quit sitting for your children b/c of an opinion you stated on your blog – a well-thought out opinion that doesn’t jump to dangerous conclusions, at that! And b/c an 8 y/o is “not nice to her” ??? Kids are kids! WTF!! Unflippinbelievable. :wha:

  100. Hey Britt, I don’t fit in any of those traditional “mommy” groups either. Can I join whatever group you and Monty form?

    Sleeping Mommy’s last blog post..Stop Growing

  101. Maman says:

    I would like to think that we are capable of better than that, but I have seen the evidence to the contrary… Women seem to hate women.

    Maman’s last blog post..grrrr

  102. Miss Britt says:

    Nat: oh yeah, the Day Care guilt. Love it.

    Betty: no, I kind of walk with a limp. :D

    Nobody™: and I’ll tell ‘em nobody says so!

    Melissa: it wasn’t just the post – I’ll give her that. And I’m not really sad – it’s OBVIOUSLY going to be better for BOTH of the kids this way.

    Sleeping Mommy: of course you can!

    Maman: damn, that sucks. I resolve to not hate women.

    I mean, you know, not ALL women.

  103. ceress says:

    Shame on them!!! I was going to get all cussing and throw a bunch of f-bombs at them- but then I read your first comment, whom I think is your husband-and I think he say’s it all!!! He sounds very proud of you(I think someone might get alittle tonight :hug: )

    This group sounds “Yuckie”-too sneaky and to quit on someone 30 mintues before hand is really low- and to use your 8 year old as an excuse- the chick needs a life!! There is nothing wrong with you, this group doesn’t sound like a nice group women-but I’m not a big fan of “mommies groups”-I just enjoy people whether they are a mom or not-being a mom doesn’t mean we stop being individual’s-

  104. avitable says:

    Yeah, Britt, can I get some?

  105. Jen says:

    You move to kansas and hang out with me and my other friends who while moms, our world’s don’t revolve around the little people who live in our house. And you should be darn proud that you aren’t like them.

  106. Katie says:

    Hey Miss Britt! Found your blog thru Ask and You Shall Receive. Congrats, btw! When I read your post about being kicked out of a mommy group, I felt the need to share with you the links to a few of my friends’ blogs who were also recently kicked out of a mommy group. I think that you will enjoy reading their accounts of what happened. I suggest you start w/ Maria’s blog. She also recently received an “I fucking love you” from AAYSR. Maria posted two blogs on the event. Her whole blog rocks…you may want to stay and read it all.

    Then there is Jenee’s

    And finally, Kristie’s

    Happy reading. You are not alone! =)

  107. Hey britt, now that I have calmed down and stuff, if you can wait two years, when I move back down there to FL, you and I can form an Anti-Mommy Group. We’ll get all liquored up and do crazy stuff, like..moon the Mommy Groupers at the playground, or, take out big ole newspaper ads stating what bitches they are, and how they are married to sex offenders who haven’t registered or something.

    you know something mean and vile …

    or we could just say fuck it, fillr a drink cooler with maragaritas and hit the beach with the kids in tow.

    But Seriously…I feel the need to create a Button for all the Anti-mommy Women Bloggers in the world… be proudly displayed on websites….. ooohh..I’ll be back!!

    Cissa Fireheart’s last blog post..I go crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby…

  108. Summer says:

    Wow, lots of comments and no time to read them all so maybe I’m saying something already said but here goes; forget the mommy group, start your own group made up of MILFs. Some mother’s dedicate their lives to their kids, doing everything for them. The kids as well as the mothers are in for a rude awakening when those kids turn 18. The kids will have no life skills because mommy ran their life.

  109. Mutha Mae says:

    I still don’t get the no offers from PR companies because it’s obvious you have a HUGE following here. I don’t see how you could up your mom game any more. What do these PR companies want? People who get 500 comments a day? Is it not based on numbers but all based on image? Are edgier companies repped by PR firms? Heck with free strollers, how about free cases of booze? Hey, I like that approach. Maybe I need to change my tactic and try to attract the non mom PR companies to my blog. If they want to send me free bottles of wine and other assorted adult novelties, I’d be all over that. Ta dow! :evil:

    Mutha Mae’s last blog post..Mae has moved! To the F List!

  110. Nicole says:

    Since when are mommy groups about the kids? And playdates? Duh. It’s for moms to talk to each other while the kids have someone else to bug with the “But who’s going to play with me?” comments.

    I thought your post was comical and enough for me to throw you into the void I call my RSS reader… I’ll catch up on my 400+ post backlog if I ever stop ADDING blogs like yours! haha. Thanks for the laugh.

    Nicole’s last blog post..Jelly and Manners Sandwich Please

  111. [IMG][/IMG]

    Cissa Fireheart’s last blog post..I go crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby…

  112. blast that did not work…well…come see my blog…I am posting the button I made …if you like it, let me know, I will email you it somehow or whatever

    Cissa Fireheart’s last blog post..I go crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby…

  113. Anonymous says:

    Wow. This is my first read on your website. What a nutty situation.

    Someone recently mentioned the SO list to me, and I balked, because what are you going to do, move somewhere else? There are crazy people everywhere, get used to i.

    The Mommy Group rejection of you is ridiculous.

    Of all the comments here (and some of them are pretty, um… interesting) I like your mother’s comment the best.

    This portion is excellent: “What would be better would be for PARENTS to have more compassion for each other, and respect for each other’s decisions for what works in THEIR lives, without justifying those decisions without bashing the decisions of others.”

    You come from good genes, it appears. ;-)

  114. It might help if I actually fill in the comment form completely. Argh.

    The above was my comment.

    Or maybe I should have remained anonymous since I’m a total poop talking mommy blogger type? :slaphead:

    *dances way out door*

    Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..It’s the little things.

  115. Mrs RW says:

    My idea of a cool mommy group is where you become the Girl Scout leader, stuff the kids into tents and then drink wine coolers with the other moms around the campfire. That’s what I did. Of course, back then I could also have a cigarette with the wine cooler. This is how REAL moms have fun.

  116. Miss Britt says:

    ceress: :lol Avitable is my boss and what we jokingly call my “Blog Husband”. I finish his sentence and bitch at him about his diet – but I suppose that’s what you get when you spend 40+ hours a week with someone.

    Jared, the real husband, will surely get a good chuckle out of the idea of anyone gettin’ a little though. :wink:

    (And don’t feel bad – people make that mistake here alllll the time if they haven’t read a Jared post yet.)

    avitable: sure you can – from the left and the right I am sure.

    Jen: Kansas? How about you move to Florida and bring all those cool bitches with you?

    Cissa Fireheart: oooh – fill the cooler and hit the beach with kids in tow. That is MY kind of weekend hang out.

    Summer: I do agree with part of that. I think it’s important to let your kid have some responsibility in their own life – much to my son’s dismay.

    Mutha Mae: well, to be fair – my kids are almost too big for strollers now. LOL

    I want Jimmy Choo to call. I’d market the hell out of that son of a bitch.

    Nicole: lol your reader sounds like mine right now!

    Sarcastic Mom: wait – do you really talk about poop?? Because people keep saying that and I have YET to actually see this in person. I’m on my way….

    And yes – you’re right. My mom is awesome about reminding me that compassion makes the world go round. And shit. :-)

    Mrs RW: I’m sorry – when are you moving to Florida again?

    Actually, I think my mom needs to move to Chicago. You would be so good for her.

  117. Selma says:

    I left my Mother’s Group after only two weeks when they wouldn’t let a teenage Mum into the group. I couldn’t believe how judgemental they were. 12 years later the ‘teenage’ Mum and I are still good friends. And the Mother’s Group ? I really don’t care. Those women don’t know what they’re missing by ‘removing’ you from the group. I know it’s hard not to be upset by something like that, but don’t be. I’d have you in any group of mine, any time. It’d be an honour!

    Selma’s last blog post..Taking It To The Streets

  118. Mike says:

    They kicked me out of the mommy group too. :cheese:

  119. You ARE a mom. I hate that the word is becoming so bastardized. We need to reclaim it. A mom is first a woman, a hip-ass chick with all kinds of uniquely endearing qualities, who loves, protects, and, encourages and respects her charges. Why is that so bad? When did we get such a bad rap? What makes your babysitter and her groupies act the way they do? Why is “mommyblogger” a swear word?

    It makes me so sad.

    So — all labels aside, this is a group of human beings that has lost something great. You on the other hand? Not so much.

    maggie, dammit’s last blog post..On wolves and lemmings (In defense of Miss Britt.)

  120. Peggy says:

    I found this actually quite funny. I cannot believe they kicked you out and I most certainly cannot believe she quit like that.

    What the fuck, dude?

    If you lived a little bit closer we could start our own Mommy Group called – NO FUCKING KIDS ALLOWED BECAUSE WE WILL BE DRUNK THE WHOLE TIME.

    How’s that sound?

  121. kapgar says:

    I think a lot of the, uh, disbelief about you being in a mommy group may stem back to statements from you like where you had to clarify the number of children you have. If read a certain way, it’s almost like you forgot you have two and were actually correcting yourself. I’m sure there are others along those lines. I don’t mean it to sound bad, but like Av said, you are not someone whose entire existence revolves around being a parent. Thank Christ, I know too many people like that.

    Can I go laugh my ass off now?

    Oh, and would this be the same bitch that fucked you over and made you miss out on meeting me? If so, fuck her and the horse she rode in on.

    kapgar’s last blog post..The devil’s in the house of the rising sun…

  122. anon says:

    Hi everyone,

    This is the first time reading your blog. I came across it when I googled “kicked out of moms group”.

    I’ve been kicked out of a group also and was and still am very angry about it. it was a meetup group, moms group that charged dues even. well, I paid my dues, and participated in their stupid grab bags and crap.

    Then I got kicked out because I rsvp’d to a few events and my computer was in the shop for a few weeks. Since the events were at the organizers “private” residence and I didn’t have the address I could not attend. I did not have her phone number and could not call her. When I got my computer back from the shop, I emailed her apologetically expaining what happened. She told me that I was “removed” from the group and if I wanted back in I must attend a meeting within a certain period of time.

    Are these moms nuts? I reread other moms groups in the area and they have all of these ridiculous rules.

    Anyway, thank you for letting me vent. I still hold alot of anger about this because I also see myself as a mom, but somewhat unconventional and being rejected really hurt.

    I’m glad that you were able to bounce back and I did read some of your blogs and think they’re very funny.

  123. Nikki says:

    I miss my mommy group.. lol.
    To be fair though, the majority of them weren’t completely insane.
    Which is kind of the vibe I’m getting about yours…

    About the mom or mother thing I’m not too sure.
    It seems too hard to fit yourself (or myself) into one definition or the other.
    I don’t call myself a mommy and I don’t call myself a mother. I call myself mum. So maybe I fall somewhere in the middle?

    I love my son. I do. I really really do, with all of my heart and soul, and some days my blog and my conversations and my thoughts are all about him, I will admit, but not all the time. There are days where I don’t bring him up in conversation when I’m out with my girlfriends or gone to work.
    There are days when I post things on my blog that have nothing to do with him.
    Although there are days when all I post is a new picture of him!

    I worked with a girl that only ever talked about her daughter and everything she did revolved around her daughter and I KNOW I’m not like that.

    I don’t know. I’m undefineable. IMO.
    Maybe I’m just that great! ;) (maybe it’s time for sleep…)

    Great post anyhow. Your blog is fantastic!

    Nikki’s last blog post..It’s Been A Sloooww Saturday Night.

  124. Lori says:

    I’m with all the other “People With Kids And Lives and Brains – All At Once” supporters that have posted.
    I’ve never joined a Mommy Group – they scare the holy hell out of me.
    If you start one – sign me up. I make killer margaritas.
    You were kind enough to drop by and visit my blog in it’s early stages and email me very encouraging comments. As far as I’m concerned your “game” is perfectly fine.
    We all relate to each other here because our lives are continuous balancing acts and sometimes we shine and sometimes we drop the ball. We reject the tunnel-vision type of life so often seen in Mommy Blogs.
    Yes, I write about my kids, and my pets and my family.
    But I also write about my ideas and fears and successes and (often) dumb shit that makes me laugh – because that’s what I want to read. I don’t want to read endless I.Q.-sucking posts about kids I’ll never (want to) meet. Most especially if I have to wade through acres of “MommyBlog” ads and posts about Baby Camp. Gack.
    That’s also why I’m here, that’s why we all rushed to your defense and why I’ll keep coming back.
    I :heartbeat: You and your kick-ass blog!

    Lori’s last blog post..So, yeah. I’m insane.

  125. Miss Britt says:

    Selma: none of that surprises me – I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. That is awesome.

    Mike: :lol: glad to know I’m in good company.

    maggie, dammit: thank you!!! I think we need to take that word back too.

    Peggy: hahahah – I think we should start it anyway. We could meet quarterly or something!

    kapgar: (no, it’s not the same one, lol)

    Actually – I didn’t forget. I think I totally missed my mark from beginning to end on this one.

    anon: oh my gosh, I am so sorry you were obviously hurt by this. Rejection does hurt, and it’s understandable.

    At least you’re in good company. :D

    Nikki: I think there are a lot of women who fall closer to that “group”.

    Lori: awwwww, thanks honey. That is so sweet.

  126. trouble says:

    You fit with me. And with Calamity. Nuff said. Of course, we don’t fit with most of the moms in our town, either. fuck em.

  127. annie says:

    omg – ur killing me with this post. I *so* hope I work on a client/project that requires pitching/sending product to mommy bloggers – I’m coming right to you!!!! Where did my TEAM MISS BRITT t-shirt go…hmmm…

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