An ode to Britt’s first love…

Monday, March 10th, 2008

You know how sometimes when a blogger has a birthday, all the other bloggers get together and do tributes and write accolades and blah blah blah bunch a wannabe saints blah blah?

Yeah, well, someone has a birthday today. But THIS isn’t his blog. This is MY blog. It’s supposed to be about ME.

So, in honor of his birthday, I thought I’d let him talk about me for a while….
——————————————————————————

Hi kids. Mr. Fabulous here. I am completely whacked out on Vicodin right now. God, I love Vicodin. Vicodin is always there for me. Vicodin, unlike Donna Pearson, The Harlem Globetrotters, or the Monroe Doctrine, has never let me down.

Oh, the guest post. Right.

This is for you, baby. Ignore the background singers. Stupid background singers.

Shopping Her Life Away

Well the big sale retail shopping on a major scale
Clearance up ahead check the rack looking for a deal
Gotta keep buying
Britt’s slapping patrons, giving them an elbow
Breathing heavy nipples at attention face all aglow
Gotta keep buying

Ooh Britt’s shopping her life away, buying stuff everyday, especially shoes
Ooh Britt’s shopping her life away, poor Jarrod’s in dismay

Well the blue lights flashing, shopping carts are crashing
Two for one, 30 off, no refund, no exchange or return
Prices are slashing
Swipe the charge card hell it’s only plastic
Ring it out bag it up hit the mall parking close by
With a handicapped sticker

Ooh Britt’s shopping her life away, buying stuff everyday, especially shoes
Ooh Britt’s shopping her life away, poor Jarrod’s in dismay

Well the big sale retail shopping on a major scale
Clearance up ahead check the rack looking for a deal
Gotta keep buying
Britt’s slapping patrons, giving them an elbow
Breathing heavy nipples at attention face all aglow
Gotta keep buying

Ooh Britt’s shopping her life away, buying stuff everyday, especially shoes
Ooh Britt’s shopping her life away, poor Jarrod’s in dismay

We love Britt. She’s a goddamn national treasure, that’s what she is.

Goodnight, everyone!

———————————-
Happy Birthday Fabulicious. If anyone deserves to live another year, well, it’s probably me. But I’m happy for you just the same!

Don’t you forget, I need your help with my baby brother!

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  1. avitable says:

    That’s awesome! I’m ashamed to say that I don’t know what the original song is, though.

  2. damn, i love this. how about fabby being right, you are a national treasure.

    HAPPY FABULOUS DAY!

    hellohahanarf’s last blog post..Promise

  3. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, did you see that? it says my latest post. coz i have a blog! (and it is so your fault. well, not all your fault, but you are a huge part of the reason.)

    hellohahanarf’s last blog post..Promise

  4. It’s good to know My Fab has such an amazing love for you.

    Freelanceguru’s last blog post..Why don’t the Germans speak proper English?

  5. Marissa says:

    Oh God, I KNOW THAT SONG! I just can’t think of it. Now it’s gonna bug me all bloody day.

    (Either I know it, or I’m confusing the chorus for ‘She’s a Little Runaway’. One or the other.)

    P.S. It’s great his love for you; did you at least send him a boob shot for his birthday and the song?

    Marissa’s last blog post..One down, four to go

  6. That is too funny.

    I wonder what “favors” you had to do for Mr Fab in order for him to devote part of his birthday to you!?

    themuttprincess’s last blog post..Guess where this Tat is: (on me!!)

  7. debkitty says:

    Now I have that song stuck in my head! Leave it to fab to do such a great job!

    debkitty’s last blog post..Lets Talk About Sex! Part II

  8. Karen MEG says:

    Great ode to your birthday! I loves to shop too.

    Happy, Happy Day!!! Didn’t realize Mr. Fab was such a poet. Or a lyricist, really.

    Karen MEG’s last blog post..It’s a Party

  9. Britt's Mom says:

    Happy Birthday Fabby!

    And those shoes are TOTALLY you Britt!!!

    Britt’s Mom’s last blog post..Reflections on Pee and Poop

  10. Miss Britt says:

    The only thing wrong with this post is that there is no link to the pink shoes, which I have been in search of for some time now.

  11. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Really? I am glad you like them. I actually went to some trouble to pick a picture of a pair I thought you would like.

    Maybe I AM gay…

    Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Why is this man green?

  12. Finn says:

    Yeah! A post that’s not about Fab!

    We’re totally going shopping…

    Finn’s last blog post..100 Things About Me… Part Two

  13. turnbaby says:

    LOL that totally rocks!

    turnbaby’s last blog post..Absolutely Fabulous!

  14. turnbaby says:

    The original song is “Driving My Life Away”–Eddie Rabbit

    turnbaby’s last blog post..Absolutely Fabulous!

  15. Jay says:

    I don’t think anything says “Your Awesome” like having Fabby do a song for you. That should tell you just famous you are Britt!

    Jay’s last blog post..It’s All Downhill From Here …

  16. Steph says:

    So let me get this straight, you get a day off of blogging by letting a fellow blogger do a guest post for his birthday in which he actually talks about you?

    Pure, unadultered genius.

    Cute profile pic by the way. How do you get your hair to look cute like that? Mine is wavy but it never looks like that. Damn you.

    (Notice how I spelled out “by the way” in that last paragraph instead of writing “btw”? Yeah, because I care enough about your blog to actually take the time type that out. Because I’m dedicated and stuff.)

    Steph’s last blog post..Please disregard that last post…

  17. Amy says:

    :lmao:

    :clap:

    Wickedly cool!

    Amy’s last blog post..You Asked, Remember?

  18. Kyra Sutra says:

    See, Fab? I could NEVER top your talent!!!

    Happy Fab’s Birthday, Britt!

    Kyra Sutra’s last blog post..Oh, Happy Day!

  19. ahahahahaha…. Britt would never wear those shoes! What’s he thinking??

  20. Cat says:

    Lovely! I’m so glad I dropped by. I love those shoes! The song was good too, really… :disco:

  21. Maggie says:

    There is no doubt in my mind you have special powers.

    Maggie’s last blog post..blue jeans, tattered shirt, cluttered mind… we’ll be fine.

  22. Winter says:

    The shoes look good, they just aren’t my type. Me and the chunky heels wouldn’t get along. I’m a spike heeled girl. And I hate shopping, unless it’s on the internet, but really, someone has to do it, so kudos to you! As for the Coach pic… *sigh* I’m a Dooney girl. I am soooo addicted to Dooney and Bourke, which means I totally get the designer addiction.

    Great song, funny post, very cool blog!

    Winter’s last blog post..Marcus Monday Mutterings

  23. He’s right. You are a national treasure.

    Now where’s the vacuum-sealed glass case we can stuff you in for your Smithsonian debut? :-)

    Awesome guest-post Fabby!

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..They Comin’ to America!

  24. This Mom says:

    Must get me some of those shoes. CUTE!

    Loved the song– so YOU!

    This Mom’s last blog post..Going Back

  25. Dave2 says:

    Brilliant!

    Makes me wish I could sing, because I would totally write songs dedicated to myself all the time.

    Hey, if I can’t sing my own praises, who will?

  26. flutter says:

    You are a total nut

    flutter’s last blog post..My archnemisis, the Altima

  27. Selma says:

    Aww, Mr. Fab, you are a sweetie to do that for Britt.
    :clap:

    Selma’s last blog post..Look At This Stuff. Isn’t It Neat?

  28. Coach Designer Handbags…

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you….

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