Welcome back for another addition of OMG LISTS GIVE ME REASONS TO POST ON SATURDAY!
Or, 100 Things About Me.
I don’t like to use the word hate. I mean, I do (quite frequently actually), but I like to be one of those people who says they don’t like to use the word hate. Nonetheless, I give you…
100 Things About Miss Britt: 10 Things I Hate
- I hate when people don’t like me. I can’t decide if it’s a sign of immaturity on my part or an inherently vulnerable nature. But it bothers me. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stupid fucking troll whose opinion shouldn’t count – it still stings. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to fight through the fact that it bothers me. Right now, I’m just trying to accept that it does.
- I hate reformed smokers. Not all reformed smokers – because quitting is hard and if you can do it, good on you. But don’t wrinkle your fucking nose up at me like I’ve got the plague or am suddenly a second class citizen. I’m not going to smoke in your house or blow smoke in your pretty little face. Save your contempt for a weakness that you haven’t shouldered yourself.
- I hate Crocs. And OMG do not talk to me about how they are comfortable. You can get shoes that are comfortable and do not look like you just waded in off the nearest gay pride fishing boat. No, the little buttons you put on your neon pink styrofoam shoes do not make them fashionable. Your legs look short and dumpy and your feet look too big for your body. For the love of God, if you have to do comfortable get yourself a pair of Vans or Doc Martens or something made of a material that is not used to package electronic equipment.
- I hate overly intrusive waiters . I’m here to eat. And talk to the person I’m not paying to bring me my fucking food. Do your job, be polite, and quit trying to entertain me. Pretending to be my new BFF is not going to earn you a bigger tip.
- I hate wind on my face. Or rather, I hate air moving on my face. I can’t sit in front of a fan. When I have the air on in the car, I have to turn the vents away from me. It just bugs the shit out of me.
- I hate arrogant adults. When you’re 18 you’re supposed to think you know it all, or you’d be too paralyzed with fear to ever head out into the world on your own. But if you’re over the age of 21 and you still think you have it all figured out, you’re a fool. And worse than that, you’re wasting all of the opportunities that life has to offer you. There is something to be learned from everyone and everything you encounter. If you’re already done learning… you might as well be dead.
- I hate sushi. Blech. Yes, I’ve tried it. Yes, that kind too. It all tastes like what I imagine nasty poontang would taste like. Even if there is no fish in it, it tastes like it’s been dipped in vajajay juice that is not properly PH balanced.
- I hate foods that shouldn’t go together. Like fruit and meat. That’s just not right.
- I hate mean people. It’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not groundbreaking or edgy. It’s vile and disgusting and a blight on the face of humanity. The best purpose you can hope to serve in this world is to be a catalyst for growth and change by people who do not suck.
- I hate lying. My mom used to tell me that the two worst things you could do to another person were “lie and be mean.” In my head I assumed that lying must be the worst then, because it was mean to lie to someone. I try really, really hard not to lie. Whenever I am faced with the opportunity to do it, my stomach gets twisted and I feel like I’m filled with black goo. The most hurtful thing you could ever do to me is lie.
Blech. God, I feel like I need a shower now.
Tomorrow will be more fun with new contests and prizes.
And next week? Next week, I think it’s only fair to share 10 Things That I Love.