Oh, I was so smug.
“How do you like the weather up here?” “It’s awful! I can’t wait to get home!”
“Did I mention we were sweating in shorts and t-shirts last Friday?”
“Oh my, how do you people live like this?!”
“Oh it will be so nice to get back home to sandals and t-shirts.”
Yeah, I know. I’ve only lived in Florida 4 1/2 months. But apparently my blood really has thinned that quickly because I was fucking dying up there! (Where “there” equals “hell frozen over”.) I was so eager to get back to the warmth. I was so proud to be able to share my delight with anyone who would listen.
“Um, yeah, we don’t do cold down there” (Where “there” equals “fucking paradise”.)
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
I have been back in Florida for about 36 hours – 24 of which were warm and comfortable, soothing my poor chapped cheeks. The last 12? Fucking. Freezing.
No, really. The temperature here at this moment is 31 degrees. 31. That is below fucking freezing.
The morning news today was filled with “Severe Winter Weather Alerts” and “Cold Weather Safety Tips”. I was expecting a fucking corn price report during the crop break at any second. Oh. Wait. Not corn – but the oranges are in trouble! And quick – go cover your plants!
I had to turn on the motherfucking HEAT this morning! In my HOUSE!!
“Well, honey,” I told my husband this morning, “at least there is no snow. Remember a few weeks ago when I was whining about ‘if it’s going to be cold there should at least be snow’? I was full of shit. That crap is messy! Oh mah gawd I am glad to be done with that nonsense!”
Heh.
“We may even have snow flurries on parts of the coastline later today.”
That news guy fucking hates me. I can tell.
Damn you! YOU BROUGHT IT WITH YOU!
:violent018:
Welcome to my world. And the worst part is, that none of those snow people have any sympathy for us at all.
We are suffering down here, dammit!
I wish I could feel sorry for you, but the wind chill this morning is 2 below here. It is NOT cold where you are. And you, being an Iowa girl, KNOW it. You’ve just gotten spoiled.
Cheer up, it will be 70 there in no time.
J. :cold:
fab is right…i have no sympathy at all. none. we are around 15 degrees here today and i didn’t zip my jacket or ever wear a scarf, let alone gloves. so your 31 would see me half naked & sweaty. ok, not that bad, but still!
all i know is i am thankful you are back so if you want to bitch about cold, i’ll shut up and wish for warmer weather for you. just not when i am down your way in february. hope it is no warmer than 60.
:heartbeat:
I’m trying to be sympathetic, I really am. But then I had to go look for another four layers of clothing to wear while I shovel the driveway. AGAIN. (It’s -2 here today.)
I was born and raised in northeast Ohio.
I’ve lived all over the country, including Jacksonville, Florida. For the three years I was in Jax, it was never below freezing. I was barbecuing while my dad was up north shoveling the driveway.
I live in Ohio, once more. Sucks ass, today.
I sympathize. I really do. It’s been freaking freezing here in Arizona this year. It’s finally warming up, and we’re only getting to a high of 60 outside. I hate the snow. I lived with it for 18 years growing up, and 2 more years while living in Montana. Fucking hate snow. :cold:
hon, you left just in time. i was there (where you were) for New Year’s weekend and on Monday it got STUPID COLD. like, 9 to 19 BELOW with wind gusts at 40.
EVERYBODY’S A COCK!
Girl, I live in Texas, and it’s 19 fucking degrees here this morning. 19 fucking degrees.
19. fucking. degrees.
4 here this morning. Reading post and comments… what am I in, wussy hell?
Not much warmer farther south darling.
What the people “up north” don’t understand is that we Floridians are not equipped for cold weather. We each own one sweater that’s about 20 years old because we feel stupid spending money on something that we’ll wear for “three days a year.”
So we freeze our stupid asses off for three days every year.
We need to start a charity or something — Sweaters for Floridians…
Yep, that’s the joy of the south, including Florida. Un-fucking-predictable winter weather. What I love? The so-called “blackberry winters” you get in late April-early May. Two to three days of 30-ish degree weather. In the deep south! In late spring! Go figure…
Mmm, the memory is fonder than the reality…
avitable: what can I say? I’m loved. Even, it seems, by that crotchety fuck Old Man Winter.
Mr. Fab: yeah, except those poor suckers who are here on vacation right now.
HoosierGirl5: that’s true – by Saturday I think it’s supposed to be 70′s again. God willing.
hellohahanarf: if it’s not warmer than 60 you won’t get to see my cutest shoes though!!
(Although these brown suede boots ARE pretty nice, I must admit.)
Nat: I do feel for you having snow. I really do. That shit sucks worse than cold.
Gecko Rock: please come back and bring the warmth with you.
Beth: it’s like the whole country has lost it’s damn mind. Fricking Al Gore.
Crys: excuse me? You were where I was – and we didn’t meet up?
WTF dude?!?!
The Absurdist: it’s craziness!
RW: pfft. I just don’t like it when Mother Nature messes with the Master Plan.
Anonymous: LOL, exactly! My kids didn’t even have boots for the trip home because I was not buying boots for one week (thank God for grandparents who will do such silliness). Fortunately I have a few sweaters and sweatshirts I brought with me.
But my 2 year old who has outgrown anything that would have made the move? Es freezing.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter: oh if it is this cold in the spring I will riot. Or something.
jflins: isn’t’ that always the way, I guess.
Fab’s right, I don’t have sympathy for you guys down there. It is 14 below with the wind chill factor here today. Yeah, cold. I will agree that 30 is cold for you and it sucks for me because it means that orange prices will go up.
I do have reassurances for you…It won’t last very long. Only a few days or so. You’ll survive.
Hey Shelli, I can feel your scorn. Just don’t come crying to us in the spring and summer because your citrus prices are through the roof! :lmao:
Well, I’m not to far from you, (the gulf coast) and it was 27 here when I woke up this morning at 7:30 am.
However, I welcome it!! I love cold weather and snow, and we don’t get either very often, so I am in heaven!
Welcome Back!
But I really wish you had left this cold shit up north!! Even here on the Gulf Coast, it was 30 degrees this morning! My poor plants don’t like being covered up like this!
I had to put my gloves on to drive to work today. I had to drag them out of the back of the closet, where the dust bunnies had attached themselves to them. I had to actually put on socks!!!
:what:
I think I said that in my comment, Mister! Don’t you ever listen to me? :eyebrow:
Oh my Gawd, a fun filled week of merriment food and presents and all you can talk about is the COLD?
Britt Marie!!
dude, your mudder pulled out the middle name! ooooooooooooooh, you are in trouble!
Glad you are back, but if you are to blame for this cold weather….
I think God is teaching you a lesson for BRAGGING to everyone when you were up in the frozen tundra of hell. Just sayin’!
@ Britt’s Mom :clap:
Oooo, you got called by your first and middle name – that means you are in BIIIIIG trouble.
And, I’m with Fab, nobody has sympathy for us non-snow having people. It’s 37 degrees here right now. I’m freezing my ass off – no snow.
Shelli: yes, but if you moved specifically to a place that was supposed to be WARM – you’d be pissed.
Mr. Fabulous: no sibling in-fighting here!
Angel: I always thought you lived up north!
NotaGranny: I’m wearing socks, boots, two shirts and a jacket! I wish I had remembered my gloves.
Shelli: boys don’t listen. Especially brothers.
Mom: um, yeah, the only thing I could talk about at 6:30 in the morning before I left for work is the cold.
hellohahanarf: it’s less scary from 1400 miles away.
debkitty: if Mother Nature was listening to ME, I assure you, we would all be warm and cozy in the sunshine!
Anonymous: yeah, I’m sure that’s it. God alters the global climate to teach me a lesson. I’m so important!
AmyD: be glad for no snow, I’m telling ya. That shit is a MESS! And OMG with the boots and the on and the off and the wet socks and blech, blech, blech!
I didn’t know it was possible to get that cold in Florida… are we going to have a citrus shortage? should I stock up on limes?
Welcome home, Britt. :wave:
If it makes you feel any better it’s 29 degrees here in France, and we had a snow storm overnight. (I’m not quite sure how that’s supposed to make you feel better, though.)
SOunds like while YOU don’t like the snow, IT loves the fuck out of you! I can kind of relate. This year we went on a small 4 hour drive to the West part of the state to visit my Dad. We had snow on the ground and 3 more inches the next morning. It was so pretty and cheerful… right up until Dad handed me a shovel and said, “Time to feed the cattle.”
Did you know you have to HAND shovel all that fucking snow and ice out of a V-bottomed food trough BEFORE you can push the feed button from the heated cab of the feed truck?? Who’s freakin idea was it to vist HIM for a change??? Oh yeah… his.
You wouldn’t like the 6 degrees that we’re at right now…
And, the 2-3 feet of snow… haha!
I’m surprised it’s that cold in Florida. Strange!! Stay warm!
I, of course, meant no disrespect. :heartbeat: I just like to give you guys a hard time. You should really go to Jamaica. I went last year and have been dreaming of it ever since.
It was 31 here last week and it felt…kinda warm.
Please don’t hit me.
I’d already left for work before we hit our low of 0 F this morning, but believe me, Dan was calling me to grumble a bit by the time he had to leave the house.
We spent one winter living in Florida many years ago. Maybe due to the higher humidity, the cold seems to go right through you down there.
:cold: 2degreesC here and expecting snow. And I went out without a coat today. Yes, I am a fucking moron.
I know I know…I am in South Carolina and its going to get to 18 tonight! My blood IS thin thanks to bood thinner meds so I am fucking miserable! meh.
Puleeze, tomorrow morning my wind chill is going to be -5 degrees below 0. My poor little baby girls have to stand out at the busstop in the cold. I’ll just watch through the window while I sip hot chocolate
(Just kidding, I walk them to the busstop)
So it’s YOU we have to blame. It’s 28 damned degrees here in MISSISSIPPI — also known as Hell’s Gate. I appreciate cool, but this freezing shit has GOT to go. :tongue:
I’ve acclimated to our cold. We turned the heat down to 68* (65* at night) this year to save money, and I actually turn it down some more, a degree or two, if it comes on too much and I’m not really cold!
Today was 40* which is warm for here. Seriously, some of the locals will wear shorts and sweatshirts once it hits 40*, it’s so funny.
Nah, I don’t live up north, but I’d love to. I’m originally from Ohio, right in the snow belt. My husband’s job has us here; he works on helicopters for the military.
Oh you poor thing! 31 degrees! I bet you can even see your breath. I would offer you my sympathies but every time I open my mouth an ice sculpture flies out…
SK
I am so mother fucking freezing it is not even funny! :cold:
Anonymous: I don’t know about the limes, but the orange people are freaking the fuck out right now.
Poppy: LOL, well, at least I know I’m not alone!
Y2K Survivor: I actually did know that about scooping the snow out before feeding the cattle.
I also know about watering tanks that get frozen and have to be thawed and cleaned and ew.
Krystle: they said this morning it could be record breaking cold here. Weird in deed!
Shelli: I loved Jamaica – for vacation. Although I don’t know if I could live there. The disparity between tourist money and local poverty is so vast and heart wrenching.
Better to stay here in the US where we all pretend to be doing just fine.
A.B.: when I was in Iowa it was in the 20s and 30s and people kept saying “it’s so nice out today!”
I only hit my husband when he said it.
Aunt Robin: I think it’s because your body doesn’t have time to adjust. There’s no wading in, get used to it with sweatshirts first.
Bec: or a champ, I guess – depending on who you ask.
Mel: yeah, I never realized how cold it could get in SoCal either. The postcards, they lie!
Lisa: I don’t walk my kid to the bus stop – even when it’s uber warm. You win motherhood today!!!
Tense Teacher: yeah, apparently my reign as Mistress of The Entire Universe has started early. And no one thought to CALL me so I could make requests!!
annie: I keep my heat at 68 or 69, even now. Because I’m cold – but I’m still cheap.
I also set the air to like 82 when it’s hot.
Angel: that sounds so much cooler than “My husband installs cable”. LOL
Suburban Kamikaze: there were sculpture like icicles on my trees this morning.
I think that’s almost the same.
Peggy: and they say we have like two more days of this shit!!
you do like it warm! i keep my house on either 61 or 62. if i am chilly i jack it up to a whopping 65. then again, i do sleep with two not so small dogs, though.
in the summer my a/c is set to 66.
:cold:
[...] It all started here, although I had seen it written about elsewhere on the ‘Net. I had the following texting session with Fab on the subject: [...]
I’ve been doing a happy dance that it’s over 20 – second day in a row! Yes!