As you may recall, I recently tried to make homemade Guacamole. And, um, it didn’t go so well.
Namely, the guac ended up pretty runny. And soupy. And also gross tasting.
Soooo…. I took many of your suggestions (and also, and maybe more accurately, the guy at the Mexican restaurant’s recipe) and decided to try again. Because I live in Florida now, and I’m pretty sure guac making skills is like a rule here or something.
Step one: Get avocados.
I took your advice and went with the non-florida and also ripe ones:
Step two: Peel these sonz o’ bitches:
Step Three: Realize it is never too soon to be sick o’ this shit, and look for Easier Way:
Step 4: Put chunks of shit in bowl
Step 5, 6 & 7: Smash with fork. Think that sounds kind of hard. Move on to next step. But first, one longing look:
Next step: choppeth the Roma tomatoes (according to Mexican Restaurant Guy, this is important)
Step Next: Fuck. I’m going to have to smash the damn avocados now.
Begin to suspect I am Guac Loser. And that these should be smashing better.
I’ll have you know…
Suspicion beginning to give way to dread, despair and defeat:
Soldier on. Maybe adding the tomatoes will help. I am not a quitter!!
Taste and determine this is definitely not right. So not right it is not even worth starting with the rest of the ingredients. This shit cannot be saved.
Wish I had taken picture. But am not willing to put that nastastic concoction in my mouth again in order to stage tasting picture.
Look around for help. Comfort. Something that can save this crap!!
Ah, yes. Sweet Comfort. Divine Clarity.
Suddenly, the answer to my Guacamole Nightmare is clear.
Perfect. Job Well Done. Enjoy the fruits of my labor.