Do you think it says something about me that I check my comments on here several times a day? Or that I get giddy when I get a new MySpace add from one of you?
I mean, sure it says something. But does it says anything better than “Oh My God Woman You Need To Find Some Inner Peace And Validation Because Holy. Crap. It’s the Internet!!”?
Someday I should probably look into that. And really dig deep. And maybe, just maybe, expand my horizons. And stuff.
But not today. Today? Is all about you. And me. And how much I need you to love me. (insert autoplay of “I Waaaaant. You. To Want Me…..”)
Specifically, I need you to love me more than Dooce. For some of you this will be easy because you hate that woman just on principal – really big, successful blogger equals EVIL. And I will totally take advantage of that right now. Seriously. Do you want her to win? If she WINS, the terrorists lose. Shit. No. Wait. I mean, uh…
VOTE FOR ME AND NOT HER SO I CAN SAY I BEAT THE DOOCE, DUDE!!
Ahem. Sorry. Give me a minute to pick up the pieces of my dignity. I’m sure there are pieces around here somewhere…
Ah yes. Here they are. No. Wait. That’s not my dignity. That’s where I’ve been nominated as Hottest Mommy Blogger. I’m trying not to be insulted as being tagged a “Mommy Blogger” – I mean, I do have kids, technically. And it’s pretty easy to gloss over the whole Mommy Blogger thing by jumping straight to Hottest.
HAWT, y’all. Hottest. And I know you do not believe me so let me show you the BADGE. I have an official BADGE!!!
So. Here is what I need from YOU, Dear Internet. (insert big smiles and batting eyelashes HERE). I need you to Click on the badge, or any of the links that I have already littered this post with. You will need to register (rememeber how much you loooove me, how much I neeeeed you), and then, find everything I have been nominated for and vote for me.
Extra credit if you get YOUR readers to vote for me too.
Am I not worthy of your love and all of the pain in the ass of registering? Do you not want to see me absolutely GIDDY with victory? Really?
If you can say no to THAT, well, man, you have no SOUL! (In which case, I would like to offer you a small piece of mine in exchange for your vote. Thanks.)