Did you know that filet mignon does not always come wrapped in bacon? With a little toothpick stuck in it? Apparently, this is a practice reserved for “cheaper places” to add substance to the rare, and small, cut of meat.
You knew that? Really? WELL, this is news to me.
And did you also know that there are places where real people can have little people walk on their backs – just like in the movies?!!? It’s a special “treatment” that will set you back more than a hundred bucks, but I have no doubt in my narrow little mind that it is worth every penny. Of course, I don’t know for sure – because I’d never even HEARD of this shit until about three days ago!
It seems, despite my best efforts and grand show, I am a hick. A small town, red neck, never done nuthin’ seen nuthin’ lived nuthin’ hick. My poor Nana would be spinning in her grave if she had one. I am mortified. MORTIFIED I tell ya.
When did this happen to me?!? How in the hell did I end up so… small?
And how long do you suppose it takes one to pack up an entire family and all of their belongings and high tail it on out of here to the closest Big City Offer?
Big things come in small packages! or is it better the other way around?
Oh, it's worth it. I've had my back FIXED by an agile, forceful, hang-from-a-bar-and-kick-your-ass backwalker.
You should send me your resume… I *do* get people gigs in NYC, you know.
Did you know that in a real city, there are things to do other than driving around the parking lot of the local McDonald's?
And having sex with animals is frowned upon?
And keeping extra cars in your yard is considered bad taste?
You really need to get out of there.
Find a big town in Iowa? Ha. That will keep me laughing all day!!!
McDonalds……..there's not any of those in a small town! I do remember that "old McDonalds" is closed on Sunday……..not really just an excuse to not take the kids for yet another indoor play day!
I love the small town you, I am smal town too, but somehow I knew all those things! I am astonished that you didn't!
The back walking thing is a shiatzu manuver. I used to line up my male friends and walk on them. it was fun for me and good for them! but I was a trained professional. I liked rubbing people for money.
And I'm told not to post drunk.
TALLYHO_2022: umm… i'm not sure, I'm confused
Championable: you know I didn't know that was part of what you "did" until that recent post? should find your email on your blog… fuck, and update my resume…
avitable: is that what you call wooing?? jeez, maybe you and DFB have more in common than originally thought…
themuttprincess: who said anything about staying in Iowa??
Kristin: you just love the idea of YOU being the only one to have "gotten out"!
ginamonster: I think it's time for a career change
Amy, i posted this this morning whore!?!?!
AND, i defended your post!!! DAMN!!!!
Maybe SOMEONE shouldn't comment hung over.
I've got a couple of kids that would gladly walk on your back for a fraction of that pricy expensive treatment you're talking about. They've been doing it to my back for years. FREE.
Don't tell 'em people charge for that shit, I'll have to start paying the brats.
Oh!!!
Does this mean there is a move in the future????
BTW, I am going to be SPAing end of this month. Any chance you can get your ass to my neck of the woods? I promised I'd let you know the next time I was going……
Ooh.
Fuck.
You.
Love, Adam
I hear that them there rich people have coffee shot up their asses to clean out their insides.
I stand corrected. You are right. Now, let's nail Avi's ass to the wall… that would be a better use of our time.
Little ol' innocent me? Why would you do such a horrible thing? I'm a paragon of virtue and holiness.
"Little ol’ innocent me? Why would you do such a horrible thing? I’m a paragon of virtue and holiness."
B a h a h a h a h a
Now you are thinking! I would either go further north (I am partial to MN, I live there…..) or go where there is sunshine all year round.
Well I'm a hick right along with you then because I didn't know aboot
the filet mignon thing either!
MsBatman: yeah, somehow i don't think that's quite the same
Wicked H: you're going SPAing? Again? already!!! Dang it, next time I need more notice!! Or, to not be flying out to Orlando already once this month. Dang it.
avitable: he he he he
You
Wish
xoxo,
Britt
DeniseTN: OK, I draw the line there. No. Butt. Period.
AmyD: LOL sweet!!!
avitable: oh you're a fucking paragon alright
DeniseTN: I know, right?
themuttprincess: FURTHER North? MORE cold? Noooo friggin' way.
Jen: I'm starting a 12 step program. I'll send you an invite.
Come and stay with me for awhile. I will show you all the finer parts of city living.
I bought those steaks wrapped in bacon with a little plastic toothpick in them once. Who knew that I was supposed to take the toothpick out before I put them on the grill?
When is your guest couch open?
Your Nana doesn't have a grave? Did you have her stuffed, or what?
She was cremated, so she's in a little baggie in a box on a shelf in my mom's living room – I think.
And people think being buried is undignified.