Carbs kill

We take a break from our regularly scheduled Blog Love series to bring you this important public service announcement:

Carbs Kill

I know this.  And normally, I stick to my low-carb diet pretty well.  Low-carb, not “no carb” – because that would just be insane.

Anyway, last night I was in a hurry.  I made stir-fry for dinner and shoveled as much as I could into my mouth before we all had to dash out the door to a wrestling meet.  Rice, stir-fry sauce, starchy vegetables… carbs, carbs, carbs.

We showed up at the wrestling meet on time and cheered and clapped and stomped our feet as my baby brother easily pinned his first opponent.

Next match.  He finds himself on bottom – which happens – and I find myself cringing and contorting myself in all sorts of awkward positions on the bleacher.

And then I hear the crowd behind me and around me, over and over and over, shouting “put pressure on the shoulder! Pressure on the shoulder!!”

Now, if you know anything about wrestling, you would hear that and know that pressure on the shoulder helps you get a good bar arm in.

If you know nothing about wrestling and heard that, well – you probably wouldn’t be paying that close attention and would have no fucking clue what these people were talking about.

If, however, you were watching your baby brother wrestle in only his third meet back since dislocating said fucking shoulder… well, you would hear that and take it as a personal affront.  I mean, maybe you would.

And maybe you would restrain yourself, or maybe you would cast a few evil eyes over your shoulder and maybe a “hey! What the fuck!?? That’s just mean!”

Either way, no harm no foul.  At that point.

Up until the point that said pressure on said shoulder sent my baby brother running off the mat in agony.  Heart, meet throat.

From there it just got worse.  I got ugly.  Embarrassingly ugly.  When some cow behind me made some snide remark about “cutting his arm” I promptly stood up and informed her just what the fuck was going on.  I may have said something about how fucking funny she would think it was if that was HER kid crying.

I absolutely, positively, made a complete ass of myself.

Even now I can’t bring myself to rehash every single detail.  Doing so makes my heart thump thinking about HIS pain and MY fear…. and my face flush remembering my own shameless display.

I didn’t get kicked out or anything.  No one had to settle me down.  But my husband wasn’t thrilled – to say the least.  And most importantly, a big piece of my dignity died right there in those bleachers.

I’m always a psycho supportive fan, but I’m not usually an ass.

I blame it on the Rice.

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  1. debkitty says:

    It was all the rice….stick to that story, don't let anyone tell you differently!

    Sorry your brother was in pain.

  2. Robin says:

    I blame everything on starches.

  3. Avitable says:

    Don't blame carbs because you're a tiny bit psycho. It's part of your sex appeal.

  4. jennyryan says:

    Oh man, I'm the same way if somebody messes with my guy.

  5. Ah, whatever. So you got a little uppity about your brother getting hurt. No big deal.

    Give yourself a break on this one. That's what I say.

  6. Meg says:

    Meh, they'll get over it. Somewhere on some blog it provided fodder and we are all responsible for providing fodder from time to time.

  7. Bella says:

    We have that right – to make asses out of ourselves once in a while. Hell, I do it all the time. I'm one of those "Shut your freakin mouth before I stick my middle finger in it!" kind of girl. Only I don't say "freakin". You get the picture.

    I stick up for you – you were provoked!

  8. paco says:

    jeez settle down. You don't want people to think you got the psycho genes:)

  9. AmyD says:

    It takes a truly brilliant individual to admit that they have been an ass.

    Personally, I'd still blame it on the rice. :mrgreen:

  10. Wicked H says:

    Blood is thicker than carbs!!!

  11. ginamonster says:

    Hey, he's your kid. OF COURSE you got upset. My brother might drive me crazy, but don't fuck with him, he's mine.

  12. The CEO says:

    Definitely carb poisoning

  13. Mist 1 says:

    Crabs don't kill. They only itch a little bit.

  14. Heather says:

    We all have our psycho moments. But I like the idea of blaming carbs.

  15. Miss Britt says:


    Thank you :-)


    me too, starting with my ass


    everyone loves a little crazy ;-)


    it's the mama lion. in this case – crazy lion.


    thank you :oops:


    that gives me an idea for another shirt! LOL


    you are not – seriously!?!? that surprises me.


    me too

    Wicked H:

    I don't know – once carbs attach to your ass, they're pretty thick…


    I wish my husband would have understood that!!!

    The CEO:

    I know, we should alert the FDA or something!

    Mist 1:

    sending cream…


    and I just quit smoking – so I'll have that going for me now too!

  16. Honestly, knowing what a dislocated shoulder feels like, I would have reacted the same way, so I fail to see anything psycho about it.

  17. Heather says:

    I quit smoking a year and a half ago. I can totally relate!

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